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Just stigma from yesteryear really.

What area are you renting in at the moment? If you're getting a decent price maybe stick with that til partner can work full time and you'll be able to buy something decent? Do you have any other consumer debts at all? (Car loan, hecs, credit cards, etc?)

Whats the story behind you not having any savings? You'd have to check with Keystart whether defense force payment makes you ineligible or not. They also have a max income limit you may need to consider. Regardless of that stuff, your long list of criteria makes $400k pretty difficult...