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Ms Ali I think your approach and letter is fine although I would personalise and flower it up a bit as well as only having one point of contact. I am assuming the property is the PPOR of the owner so you are trying to appeal to their emotions, "Dear Mr. <Seller Surname>, To introduce...

Send a personalised letter (ie. using their names) to the vendor outlining your interest in their property. Give them a couple of alternative means to get back to you (phone, email or post). Include mention that you will follow up with telephone call in "x" days to ensure they have received...