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Had a pair of thongs on at the pub the other day and me mates dumped on me. Said they wasn't a pair. Wat da they know. Had another pair xactly the same at home.

Some years ago I was the only one home and as I ran my biz from home I took the cordless phone with me to the toilet. Somehow I dropped it into the pan. I stripped it and cleaned it and got it working again. I simply told Mrs Fish I got it wet. Some time later she asked "How" did I get it...

Fourty years ago I bought a Kelvinator "suds-back" top-loader. All it took was one golf tee still in my socks and I was out buying a new relay. If my memory serves me well they might have cost ten quid each (a lot of money then). Would hate to have been paying a lecky to fit them as well. :eek...