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I would have thought the biggest lesson is: don't assume. Understand the process before you sign and the clock starts ticking. Every communication with your solicitor should be by phone. If you fax or email, follow up with a phone call and make sure they received it.

Possibly. Again, what does the contract say about failure to pay the deposit by the specified date? It doesn't matter what I think. What matters is what the contract which you signed says.

This is a NSW contract. The deposit (in your case 5%) is just the next step in what is now an unconditional contract. Really, the deposit is for the benefit of the vendor in case you fail to settle and they decide not to pursue you legally. Not necessarily. Maybe the vendor has already...

Regardless of the building report, if you were going to crash the contract during the cooling off period, you should have emailed and then called the solicitor to confirm.

I would have thought the worst case is that the buyer is forced to settle. The finance clause isn't standard for NSW contracts, that I know of. The cooling off period is it.