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If I'm not hanging out at Maccas or loitering around Carlile and Luxford.

Well, you could take him to Mt Druitt for the week. You could stay nearby at the Novatel at Rooty Hill. A few swings at Ashlar Golf Course (hmmm...still there? anyway) and a spot of fishing at the Nepean River. Finish the stay by buying a "I survived a week at Mt Druitt" TShirt. It'll be...