OK, I stayed calm, and channeled the energy where I felt it would be most effective.
Consequences:
- iphone taken away for good. has to go back to using a more basic phone.
- internet restricted to study time. no downloading of itunes and movies for the rest of grade 12. no msn messenger or other chat.
- he got his P driver's license today, and was to be granted use of one of the cars. that's canned until October.
- grounded from social events until October except for sport, school, and his job 2x 4 hour shifts.
- additional chores and responsibilities at home.
- banned from watching his two favorite tv shows for a month - Top Gear and Bear Grylls Survivor show.
- phone the two closest neighbours and apologise (though they say the fracas could have been worse)
- $300 from his wages will go towards professional carpet and lounge cleaning.
OK, the story goes thus:
Half a dozen mates arrived Thursday afternoon about lunch time, and a drinking session started shortly after. The soccer game was later that night. A few SMSs and hours later, there were 20 people here (which I think is a nice round UNDERESTIMATE). 17 guys and 3 girls so the story goes.
After the soccer game, about half of them went home, and the other half slept the night, and hung around until lunch time.
We asked if there was any more he wanted to add, or did he want to change the story. He said no. I decided to ask a few specifics:
- who bought the alcohol.
- how many were 18yo or older
- how many weren't from school
- how many heavy drinkers were there.
- how much did you drink and who was keeping an eye on the house and property while you were tanked
- did the girls drink heavily. did the three of them stay the night.
- how many got behind the wheel and drove home in the middle of the night.
I then presented a list of the total alcohol at the party as per the empties in the bins, and asked him to divide that by 20 people, and did he want to revise his story.....which he did, at which point we said we'd heard enough.
In answer to some of your questions
- he is the youngest of two. the other is 19.
- he was warned that only the friends he mentioned could come.
- he was told a quiet night watching the soccer was fine, and it was ok for his mates to stay the night, as long as they respected the house in general, and especially the expensive persian rugs, off white carpet, and leather lounges in the tele room.
- the only specific consequences he was warned of beforehand was that he'd be grounded and would not get the use of the cars after getting his P plate.
- My parting words before we left to go away were: "We've given you a long piece of rope. Don't hang yourself with it"