Capitalism Explained

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
• You have two cows.
• You sell one cow and buy a bull.
• Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
• You sell them and retire on the income.

CALIFORNIA CAPITALISM
• You have two cows.
• You don’t eat meat or diary, nor slaughter cows, so you give them away.
• You shoot a movie in the cow pasture and sell cow video and cow merchandise.

TEXAS CAPITALISM
• You have two cows.
• You take one and make steaks. The other cow has more grass to eat and poops more.
• As you shovel the poop, you strike crude oil and natural gas.

NEW YORK CAPITALISM
• You have two cows.
• You sell one and invest the money in stocks, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
• You are surprised when the remaining cow drops dead.

FRENCH CAPITALISM
• You have two cows.
• You go on strike because you think you are entitled to four cows.

ITALIAN CAPITALISM
• You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
• You break for lunch. You drink wine.
• You make love. You sleep the afternoon away.

GERMAN CAPITALISM
• You have two cows.
• You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

SWISS CAPITALISM
• You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
• You charge others for storing them.

BRITISH CAPITALISM
• You have two cows.
• Both are mad.

JAPANESE CAPITALISM
• You have two cows.
• You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size and produce ten times the milk in half the time.
• You create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market globally.

INDIAN CAPITALISM
• You have two cows.
• You worship them.
• You stay broke and hungry.

CHINESE CAPITALISM
• You have two cows.
• You have 100 people milking them in a space designed for 10 people.
• You claim full employment and high bovine productivity. You behead the newsman who reported negative news.

MITT ROMNEY CAPITALISM:
• You have two cows.
• You sell three of them to your new Bermuda special purpose corporation using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank in the Bahamas.
• You execute a debt-to-equity swap with an associated general offer to receive four cows back through a repurchase agreement, with federal tax credits for five cows.
• The milk rights of the six cows via a commodity derivative instrument are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island shell company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your new Bermuda special purpose corporation.
• The annual report published for yourself as sole shareholder says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more, arranged by your brother-in-law, based on the collateral value of 10 cows in a 120% loan-to-value financing.
• Sell one cow to buy the Presidency of the United States, leaving you with nine cows, but still with the rights to ten cows. Nobody understands the transaction and no balance sheet is provided.
• The public buys your bull and elects you President.
 
Very good, though you forgot;

Greek capitalism

You have no cows
You spend up big on the projected profits from those cows.
You also take the afternoon off, and go to sleep.

The rest of the world makes your overdue credit card payment
 
Australian capitalism -

  • You have 2 cows, Gina and Clive
  • They won't be milked, and buy media to support this
  • You give them the farm, and pray they don't throw you off it
 
New Zealand capitalism

You have two cows
You exchange them for one sheep
You retire and live the good life...with the new missus.
 
Australian capitalism -

  • You have 2 cows, Gina and Clive
  • They won't be milked, and buy media to support this
  • You give them the farm, and pray they don't throw you off it

other cows: the PM and the one at the helm of Eastpac

based on the last cow sale price you revalue you other cows and purchase more cows and pull some cash out to buy an overpriced imported car. when that wears out you refi your cow and do it again. cow prices double every 7 years.
 
Very good, though you forgot;

Greek capitalism

You have no cows
You spend up big on the projected profits from those cows
You also take the afternoon off, and go to sleep.

The rest of the world makes your overdue credit card payment

You forgot:

Be forced into introducing austerity measures which can have the effect of weakening its people's lives to the point of ridiculous in order for by "the rest of the world" to pay Greece's credit debt, with the suggestion that this will curb spending & give the country enough money to stay afloat which it can;t otherwise do cause there is not enough money to pay for things like wages & pensions.... whilst at the same time being forced to enter new contracts to purchase more arms that currently agreed of some of the countries administering the loans, whilst there is not enough money around......
 
You forgot:

Be forced into introducing austerity measures which can have the effect of weakening its people's lives to the point of ridiculous in order for by "the rest of the world" to pay Greece's credit debt, with the suggestion that this will curb spending & give the country enough money to stay afloat which it can;t otherwise do cause there is not enough money to pay for things like wages & pensions.... whilst at the same time being forced to enter new contracts to purchase more arms that currently agreed of some of the countries administering the loans, whilst there is not enough money around......

Yes, such a hard life.
Do they really expect the Greeks to make as much as they spend?
 
Not much more than the rest of the world and it's BS, smokes & mirrors, illegal activities etc

No.

Ok, and that cloudy vision would have nothing to do with the Greek flag as your avatar?
I think the New Zealand one was a lot more offensive, personally.
 
Ok, and that cloudy vision would have nothing to do with the Greek flag as your avatar?
I think the New Zealand one was a lot more offensive, personally.

Of course it does. And it has made me look into the situation and try to understand it more than immediately mocking greeks as peasants and selfish non contributing society members (of their own country & the EU) who evade tax and live off the state etc etc like so many seem to do.. not sure they all realise they are doing it, so I'm just presenting what I'm saying as a way of maybe showing they maybe aren't that inferior human beings as some of the insulting descriptions would imply


If someone gave a reason for being offended by the NZ description, I probably wouldn't mock them either...
 
seems clear as mud

I'm not trying to fight / argue / insult you mate....

I'm just saying that Greeks don't deserve the thoughtless ridicule they appear to be receiving from too many people who have no idea what they are talking about and make supposed "jokes" which demean people

cheers....
 
I'm not trying to fight / argue / insult you mate....

I'm just saying that Greeks don't deserve the thoughtless ridicule they appear to be receiving from too many people who have no idea what they are talking about and make supposed "jokes" which demean people

cheers....

When you ask people for money to bail you out of your mess, those people probably have the moral right to mock/insult/ridicule you. If you don't want to be mocked/insulted/ridiculed, then don't ask people for money.

So I guess yes, you are right. Australians probably don't have a right to mock them. Now as for the Germans
 
I'm not trying to fight / argue / insult you mate....

I'm just saying that Greeks don't deserve the thoughtless ridicule they appear to be receiving from too many people who have no idea what they are talking about and make supposed "jokes" which demean people

cheers....

It is a country-wide problem. Everyone who has dealt with Greeks before knows that this is the case. There's no point trying to be politically correct or to be offended by it.
 
How to destroy a fun - tongue in cheek - laugh at yourself - thread in one easy lesson ...

You forgot:

Be forced into introducing austerity measures which can have the effect of weakening its people's lives to the point of ridiculous in order for by "the rest of the world" to pay Greece's credit debt, with the suggestion that this will curb spending & give the country enough money to stay afloat which it can;t otherwise do cause there is not enough money to pay for things like wages & pensions.... whilst at the same time being forced to enter new contracts to purchase more arms that currently agreed of some of the countries administering the loans, whilst there is not enough money around......
 
Very very complicated person is our jaycee....even confuses him/herself at times.

Love the capitalism explained original post, made my day!!
 
Very very complicated person is our jaycee....even confuses him/herself at times.

Love the capitalism explained original post, made my day!!

nah, he's clearly a simpleton, just talks too much for this own fkin good

I didn't realise I confused myself, I still hold the view I held before I posted on this thread
 
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