Clueless unsupportive mother

Discussion in 'Investor Psychology' started by Gockie, 8th Jun, 2015.

  1. Gockie

    Gockie Life loving Big 4 Banker

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    I have clueless parents. (Mother more than father to be honest)
    I'm sorry, but I have to say it.
    I tell them I plan to buy a property in Brisbane.

    This is my mum's response:
    "Lyn don't buy house that far away because if it needs work you are not there to organise workman there." :confused:

    I am so sick and tired of my mum...
    My mum was even saying, why do you want to buy a third/4th property? Isn't what you have enough? You should be humble.... You should not do this and that....

    Anyway, I bought the last one, doing incredibly well on airbnb, but all the grief I go through with my mum...

    Anyway, so sick of her comments on my Facebook I defriended her, but she stalks me all the time. Small minded mindset.

    I dunno...

    Partner is also very anti investment, won't invest..... I've done it the tough way by myself, it has worked out (finally) but I'm sure it could have been sped up a lot if I had more partner support! (He's on a very high income).
    I'd probably have 10 plus houses by now, properties in Lane cove, Doonside, Lavender Bay.... All hampered by not being able to get finance.
     
  2. D.T.

    D.T. Property Lookerafterer

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    Surround yourself with people who are conducive to the life you want to live.

    Just because we're related to someone, doesn't mean we have to be friends with them as well.
     
  3. Rolf Latham

    Rolf Latham Member

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    A common and increasingly common challenge

    If what one wants to do, isnt possible by traditional means, one finds a non traditional way to over come that, or one finds another thing to do.

    No point lamenting what isnt

    Just my 2 bobs worth based on I deal with this each and every day

    ta

    rolf
     
  4. Terry_w

    Terry_w Member

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    Keep it all secret.
     
  5. jerrybee

    jerrybee Member

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    I simply don't take advice from people who haven't achieved anything. This includes family and loved ones as mean as it seems. Who are they to be lecturing on finance? I even ignore advice from intellectuals that are academically very, very smart but again, haven't achieved anything financially, such as university lecturers - people that are brilliant in their respective fields but have may have zip all to say about making cold had cash. These type of people are also masters at coining and spreading insidiously infectious, but completely misleading memes such as "well it takes money to make money (might as well give up till you got some)".
     
  6. beachgurl

    beachgurl Member

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    I get the guilt trip from my mum when I answer a phone call that's real estate related on the days my son is at home with me. She forgets that if I wasn't doing property I'd be working in the city and seeing even less time with my kids.

    Be confident in your actions and the knockers will have less effect on you. It is very difficult when they are your nearest and dearest tho.
     
  7. Gockie

    Gockie Life loving Big 4 Banker

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    Yup. Anyway, I'm making progress right now, (fantastic proactive switched on broker!) fingers crossed this all works out, and definitely no point in fretting over what could have been...
    I know, I would have had to be very creative with purchasing in the past, or I would have needed a much better mortgage broker for my situation. (A previous one totally left me high and dry)

    Hopefully I will end up with this Brisbane purchase. Hope to be able to sign a contract tomorrow.
     
  8. Gockie

    Gockie Life loving Big 4 Banker

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    Thanks Beachgurl. So true. My mum thinks making money through property, that's not earning money respectfully, it's not an honest way to make money.
    So? Trading hours for wages is??
     
  9. Gockie

    Gockie Life loving Big 4 Banker

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    Oh dear. My dads comment. I probably shouldn't have said anything to them.

    "Buying a land and house and not for own use, and that need work is not advisable, especially far away.
    It different to a unit or apartment, which has local manager to care for it.
    You are likely to fail to generate a income from it and force to sell soon. Insurance, rates etc will cost.
    Dad"

    Fair enough, it needs work, but i'm only contemplating a cosmetic (carpet/walls/kitchen update/bathroom respray) type reno for the time being. No big bucks required. ~sigh~
     
  10. wombat777

    wombat777 Member

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    It's not a hassle if you find a good property manager and people to do the work for you.

    My buyer's agent referred me to a great handyman service. They've been efficient and thorough with the quoting so far. Work will start after the IP settles 23 June. I've got quite a list of things - a few repairs and some spruce ups and this will take about 7 days.

    It did help flying up to Brisbane to meet them when I visited the property. Now I know what I want done and they met me at the property to quote, it won't be a drama to get the work done. It's just a matter of giving the go-ahead and then paying the bill when they are done.
     
  11. Nemo30

    Nemo30 Member

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    "Clueless unsupportive mother" ... the title makes me sad. Love your mum.

    Just dont tell her about your investing.
     
  12. sanj

    sanj Member

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    How would you feel if your kids wrote a thread like this?
     
  13. MIW

    MIW Member

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    Ask your mum what is better, making profits or earning a wage or salary?
    If she doesn't understand than explain further....
    Say, MUM, how easy do you think it would be for me to go up to my boss and ask for a 4 times increase of my present wage/salary? Not easy is it, may never happen!
    Then say, but you know what there's no limit to what I can increase my profits, right? Perhaps then she will understand what you mean.
    You see, she probably means well for you, she is your Mum and is probably concerned for you, that's all, but she may be limited in her understanding. I think most parents or closed to us do not understand so it is in human nature to warn or suggest otherwise without really knowing the facts.
    Also tell Mum, you are planting many trees so one day you can pick your apples forever, and suggest what would be better buying and apple everyday, or planting a tree and then having unlimited amount of apples that you can even give to others less fortunate, if you chose! I hope the analogies help!!!:)
     
  14. Charlotte30

    Charlotte30 Member

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    Some people just don't get property investing. You don't have to explain yourself, it's not worth the angst. As frustrating as it is your parents do care, they don't want to see you fail. They just don't understand it. Keep quiet about any future purchases.
     
  15. wategos

    wategos Member

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    Maybe they (and sometimes the banks) have seen property investment disasters that you just haven't seen yet ? Leveraged property investment has ruined many when things go sour, prices don't always go up.
     
  16. Hooray

    Hooray Member

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    Do you also ask your parents opinion when you buy cloths and order at restaurants? Are you 5?
     
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  17. Jamie M

    Jamie M Mortgage Broker - Oz Wide

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    Spot on.

    Unless someone is generally interested - I usually don't talk about property/investments outside of work.

    Gockie - at least you've got SS :) Plenty of like minded people on the forums. The unit in your link looks great BTW.

    Cheers

    Jamie
     
  18. The Y-man

    The Y-man Member

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    I'd work on this aspect more than the parents!!

    The Y-man
     
  19. LeoT

    LeoT Member

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    Expecting your parents to have a mindset similar to the top 3% of investors is an unrealistic and unfair ask. Even a large segment of property investors believe what your parents believe to varying extents. You need to learn how to better safeguard your own mindset from external negative influences. Its not your parent's fault.

    Leo
     
  20. EN710

    EN710 Member

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    I tell my parents every now and them, and their responses are similar, usually out of concern. So I just said, "Understand your concern, don't worry, I've got that covered" and repeat. No further details needed unless they ask :rolleyes: