Clueless unsupportive mother

I agree with others that you can't expect others to support your investing activities if it's outside their experience. If they're not able to support you, then just don't discuss it with them.

Defriending your mother on facebook sounds really emotionally immature. I can't believe that your mother is bombarding your wall, initiating discussion about your investment properties, that just doesn't sound believable. Therefore, either you're discussing IPs a lot on facebook - which seems inappropriate in any circumstances, unless you're participating in a facebook-based IP forum - or you're over-reacting to, say, PMs from your Mum talking about your IPs.

If your Mum doesn't support you, then the answer is to talk to her like an adult and say that you're comfortable with your investing strategy, and that if she isn't able to support you, then you'd prefer to just avoid that topic in future.

Talking about IPs should be such a tiny element of your relationship with your parents that this is a near-zero-impact compromise, and leaves the remaining 99%+ of your relationship with your parents intact.
 
Expecting your parents to have a mindset similar to the top 3% of investors is an unrealistic and unfair ask. Even a large segment of property investors believe what your parents believe to varying extents. You need to learn how to better safeguard your own mindset from external negative influences. Its not your parent's fault.

Leo
Great point. My mum asks occasionally but doesn't get it. When she asked what my cashflow was a couple of years ago. She said "you might as well just get the pension". Sigh!! I explained that I could sell a couple of properties and retire now but from what she has said to my brother she thinks I've wasted my time as I won't get the pension now.:eek::D

You can't change someone else's mindset unless they want it changed so don't even try.
I met a lady once who had 20 properties. She stopped telling family they were buying property after IP 3 because of all the flack she got. Discuss other things with your mum instead.
 
I have clueless parents. (Mother more than father to be honest)
I'm sorry, but I have to say it.
I tell them I plan to buy a property in Brisbane.

This is my mum's response:
"Lyn don't buy house that far away because if it needs work you are not there to organise workman there." :confused:
Location is irrelevant, I once owned a property 20 minutes away and I never visited it, ever. I have two other properties within 20 minutes and I rarely see them - and I self manage both of them, if I had a property manager I would never visit them.

I wouldn't even mention it to your parents if I were you, they clearly don't get it. If you have to tell them about it then do so after you have settled.
 
How would you feel if your kids wrote a thread like this?
I would feel sick if my kids wrote a thread like this. I am very lucky because my parents are still active property investors in their early 80s. They have always encouraged me to invest in property, as have my siblings and friends.

Gockie, you have done well to get as far as you have with such negative people around you. I can understand why you are exasperated as it is very tough to pursue your aspirations with so much opposition.

I agree with the posts above. It's time you stopped talking to your family about your property investments. I know that is tough, but if they are so negative about it, what other option do you have?
 
This is my mum's response:
"Lyn don't buy house that far away because if it needs work you are not there to organise workman there." :confused:
Oh, I forgot to mention. I live in Perth and I have an investment property in Melbourne. I have not had any problems at all organising contractors to do work on the property. I would buy in another capital city again. My parents are in Adelaide and own one investment property in Melbourne and one in Brisbane. Its working out well for them too.
 
"Clueless unsupportive mother" ... the title makes me sad. Love your mum.

Just dont tell her about your investing.
Agree .

Im a very private person , the only person who knows the extent of
my property and wealth is my accountant.
I believe your asking for trouble if you let friends and family know your wealth.
 
its intersting how that the most vocal or willing to give advice ones are the ones that have no results or expertise

my mum has been predicting a collapse of 20% since the late 90s

i guess if she lives to 200 then she might be right......... and ill get the 'I told you so' lecture
 
I keep things close to my chest as well from family members and friends unless they bring it up. I just love it when I listen to someone who thinks having their own PPOR means they should be considered an investor :p.

As I said on another post, majority of people in my circle think I am a struggling, pie eating, penny pinching and a battler in trying to make ends meet, except for my partner, property mentor, Rolf and maybe the accountant know that I invest in properties.
 
Spot on.

Unless someone is generally interested - I usually don't talk about property/investments outside of work.

Gockie - at least you've got SS :) Plenty of like minded people on the forums. The unit in your link looks great BTW.

Cheers

Jamie
Thanks Jamie.
And thanks everybody.
Yes, perhaps I sound harsh and ungrateful but it's just the things my mother says....

Partner, well, at least he was nice enough to sign as a witness my mortgage documents (I actually can't believe he agreed to do that, that's quite out of character for him. Normally he will have zero to do with my investing!)

Fingers crossed for this next opportunity.

Airbnb property is doing great, the next 5 weeks is fully booked out, perhaps I need to raise the rates a little. :)

Linda
 
Lyn
She does not have the reality around what you are doing so she is not able to see it. It's not negative, it's a different perception.

My mum was never responsible for our financial well being, her responsibilities as a parent were restricted to ensuring we had clean clothes and food, consequently my mother also has no idea about business or investing, she constantly nags me about things not being to her standard around the house and she does not get it that housework is not a priority for me, also I don't have the time she did.

I talk business with my dad, he was a businessman and investor and I always source great advice from him.

My mum makes it wrong - like your mum so I don't go there.

If you focus on the reality people have then the relationship will be so much better and you will not run into frustration as they will not "get you" anyway.

My conversations with my mum are restricted to - what vegetables should we plant in our garden this season, how should I cook this egg plant, what is the recipe for whatever, how do I get the stains off this. full stop! That is my mums total reality and she is unable to see past this.

Focus on your mums strengths - there will be things that you know very little about that she is an expert at, getting stains off clothes etc... this will make her feel important. Limit the conversations on things that she knows nothing about, she is never going to get it because she has not chosen to make it part of her reality.

It's all good - love your parents anyway :)
 
Yeah, don't tell anybody who does not understand, for me, that's pretty much nobody.
Even my wife doesn't really know what's going on, she just signs the loan docs when I put them in front of her face, I'm glad she trusts me, but she knows I know my sh.t by now.
 
Parents try to protect kids and if they are not sure in something, of course they wont advice their kids to do so! I think title is bit harsh, maybe you shouldn't put that pressure on your mum and ask her support in area which is risky and its obviously unknown to her

Do your journey without asking for their approval.

Find trustful friend who will sign witness documents without asking questions
 
Parents try to protect kids and if they are not sure in something, of course they wont advice their kids to do so! I think title is bit harsh, maybe you shouldn't put that pressure on your mum and ask her support in area which is risky and its obviously unknown to her

Do your journey without asking for their approval.

Find trustful friend who will sign witness documents without asking questions
Yes, probably a little harsh I think.

... educate the parents, never too old, who said they wont learn, or wont get it, they don't know what they don't know. Spend some time and you just never know what can happen.

Imagine telling parents you are buying in USA? now that's a big one:)


MTR
 
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