Crazy Business Idea no. 2

By popular request.....(well I had 1 request).....here is idea no 2.

First some background info:

I am a graingrower and I sell my grain to dairy farmers. They buy my grain at 20-30c/Kg and feed to their cows. 1 Kg of grain increases milk production by 1 to 1.5 litres which they sell for 30-40c/L. So 20-30c of grain becomes 30-60c worth of milk, which I'll add that they get paid for before they pay me. I would milk cows but it's too much work. They have a mind of their own, have to give birth every year, need constant maintenance of water troughs and fences, I could go on.

I was at Charles Sturt University in 1999 and saw something very interesting. They had some cows that they were feeding and then measuring the weight gain, then calculating the feed-meat conversion ratios. Quite simple really, but here is the interesting part. They had an opening with a lid into the cows stomach - they just opened the lid and poured the food in. No s**t, I tell no lies. The Uni vets had sown these things into the cows. I'm sure that stranger stuff happens.

So I'm thinking, If you can feed a cow like that then she doesn't need a mouth or eyes or legs or ears. Just needs a brain, four stomachs, an a***hole, a mammary gland and a few bits in between. (You'd need a masters in biology to know). Also the cow wouldn't need an udder the milk could go straight in the big stainless steel milk vat.

Now, I'm not proposing a GM cow. Live animals are prone to dying, need to breed and attract animal rights people, etc. What I'm proposing is a machine that turns grass, grain, lawn clippings, etc into milk. It would work on the same biological principles as a cow. You just pour the feed in the top, milk comes out one pipe and fertiliser comes out the other. It would be heaps more efficient than the current system.

There is a huge market here. Global milk production is around 600 billion litres, @ 30c/L thats $180 billion. The machine could be configured to produce cows milk, goats milk, even kangaroo milk if thats what takes your fancy. Low fat, omega 3, extra dollop or just 'milk that tastes like real milk. Consumers would not know the difference because there would be know difference.

Thoughts?


ps. One of my neighbours was the first in Australia to use robots to milk his cows. His website is here: http://esvc000872.wic018tu.server-web.com/indexframe01.htm
 
Hi Graingrower

While we're on this topic (bit of a stretch)...
You mentioned dairy cows need to get pregnant every year, and from what i understand, they don't want the calves so they sell them off dirt cheap just to get rid of them.

Why don't they ai the cows so they get some offspring worth growing out - or at least worth more as weaners?

Cheers
 
i think someone proposed an urban legend about KFC along these lines.....

it's a great theory, but the "machines" for milk and fertiliser would also replace over a third of the world's protein source.
 
Why don't they ai the cows so they get some offspring worth growing out - or at least worth more as weaners?

Cheers

Short answer: They do.

Most dairyfarmers AI their cows with semen from dairy breed (aka freisen) bulls. They need to 'join' all their best cows to dairy breeds so they have enough replacement heifers coming through, considering that half of calves born are male and then some die, some are not good enough to keep, etc.

A lot of farmers will use beef bred bulls on their heifers and any cows that didn't respond to AI. The calves from this are 50% dairy, 50% beef so the growth rates aren't as good as pure beef animals. Thus most calves are slaughtered young. At the moment with lots of grass around and good beef prices a lot of these animals are growing out.

A new technology has emerged: 'sexed semen'. Semen is sorted (by size I think) but it's only marginally better. They end up with about 60% heifers. It costs a lot so most farmers don't do it, yet.
 
A new technology has emerged: 'sexed semen'. Semen is sorted (by size I think) but it's only marginally better. They end up with about 60% heifers. It costs a lot so most farmers don't do it, yet.

Wow - the things they can do these days :)

Sorry, i was more thinking along the lines of getting pure beef embryos inserted. I guess the cost v 'strike' rate may be prohibitive.
 
Just a reminder about my pharmacy background so that you realise that I'm not talking bull.

Big problems doing what you are proposing.

First, if you want to surgically implant some sort of access into a cows stomach, you're talking a multi hour operation plus vet plus nurses plus expensive titanium or surgical grade plastic components. At the moment you can buy a cow for a thousand bucks or whatever. To do what you say, you still need to buy the cow, then spend thousands more making it that way.

Then, to keep the animal alive, you need antibiotics so as to avoid infection. More money there, plus the vet to dose/administer, plus clean rooms/sheds etc, plus the issue of the antibiotics going into milk/fertiliser/meat.

More, you need to cope with a growing animal yet standard size components. What happens when your biological milk making robot goes from 80kg to 400kg and stuff starts moving around?

Further, keeping any living organism in one spot, especially one of weight, produces problems like bedsores. You're going to have to hoist the creature up and move around support struts or whatever you use so that they aren't in the same spot too long, or sores will develop, along with infection, and death.

Then you need to dose the food properly through some sort of system, either with a conveyor belt type thing, or someone manually moving around shovelling food into hundreds of cows. At the moment if the cow is hungry, it walks over to the feed pile and munches away. No weighing, no conveyors, nothing.

I mean look, if robotics were so advanced/cheap that we were living in the Matrix and all of this could be done automatically, plus you could engineer a creature to be grown without consciousness etc so that animal rights groups didn't molotov your house every day and twice on sundays, plus build sheds or whatever very cheaply, then in yeah you could do that. It's just a biological reactor, and we do that with small organisms like bacteria already, and are using things like mice to grow human ears.

But a 400kg animal? To make something as cheap as milk? With that kind of technology, you'd be making organisms out of human tissue and growing things like hearts/kidneys to sell for a hundred grand a pop.

Interesting thread, but unfortunately Mr Graingrower McFrankenstein...Ya Dreamin'! :p
 
Just a reminder about my pharmacy background so that you realise that I'm not talking bull.

Big problems doing what you are proposing.

Interesting thread, but unfortunately Mr Graingrower McFrankenstein...Ya Dreamin'! :p

It's a machine, maybe more of a digester. The only life in this thing is the same bacteria that live inside a cow.

Now, I'm not proposing a GM cow. Live animals are prone to dying, need to breed and attract animal rights people, etc. What I'm proposing is a machine that turns grass, grain, lawn clippings, etc into milk. It would work on the same biological principles as a cow. You just pour the feed in the top, milk comes out one pipe and fertiliser comes out the other. It would be heaps more efficient than the current system.
 
Not an entirely different idea to a movie a few years ago, "The Island". It's essentially focused breading and engineering of live animals for specific parts.
 
I've no doubt that the milk machine is being worked on somewhere.

Sadly, brilliant "eureka" ideas and inventions aren't possible any more. Every single idea has already been thought of and trialed in a lab. All that is left is the slow incremental improvements to technology to reduce the cost of that idea until it becomes practical to implement.

For example, here's some machines attracting and eating flies, bugs and mice to power themselves.

http://futuretom.wordpress.com/2011/02/12/horrific-meat-eating-machines-or-lovable-singing-teapots/

Combine that with toy helicopters fast enough to bounce a ball in mid air:

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/t...ong-war-with-the-machines-is-one-step-closer/

How long until we see an army of these little helicopters buzzing around the fields eating pests? Again, very possible, just comes down to the cost/benefit.
 
It's a machine, maybe more of a digester. The only life in this thing is the same bacteria that live inside a cow.

oh. oops :p

If you went that way, you still need to move the feed around/churn it up, keep the pH right/enzymes/correct bacterial balance etc the way a gastrointestinal system does, then keep it at the right temperature etc all of that. Where is the GI system and udder going to come from (dead cows I suppose) but then you still have to interface it with a heater/fedslot/motility mechanism/enzyme control/keep cells alive etc etc. Plus how are you going to guarantee that the milk is of the same quality as a cows? Technically it isn't milk. It's...Milk Drink :D (lol I have David Chapelle flashbacks happening)

In the same vein there was a competition with a million bucks prizemoney for anyone who could produce meat in a petri dish suitable for eating. That's just one kind of tissue, no interfaces, nothing - and as far as I know, the prize is still unclaimed.

You're in the lead for Hairbrained Scheme Of The Day, Graingrower...but it's still early :p
 
An artist made a machine a few years ago that mimics the human digestive system. It's installed in the MONA thing in Hobart - I'll be going there in July.
Twice a day the machine is fed, and it deposits faeces that is apparently indistinguishable from those a person would drop. My kids will crack up when they see it - I haven't told them about it. I guess it's easier to produce that than milk, but it's not a massive leap.
 
I tried making one of these machines once but it wouldn't work without all the wires and circuitry board stuff inside , the same reason my robot failed.
 
oh. oops :p

If you went that way, you still need to move the feed around/churn it up, Simple, we already have machines that do that sort of thing

keep the pH right/enzymes/correct bacterial balance etc the way a gastrointestinal system does, Couldn't we get a computer to do this, or we find an unemployed winemaker

then keep it at the right temperature etc all of that. Where is the GI system and udder going to come from (dead cows I suppose) but then you still have to interface it with a heater/fedslot/motility mechanism/enzyme control/keep cells alive etc etc. Unfortuneately I don't have a masters in biology, do you? I'm sure that we could artificually replicate this system. Quote Jeremy Clarkeson: "How hard can it be?"

Plus how are you going to guarantee that the milk is of the same quality as a cows? Technically it isn't milk. It's...Milk Drink :D (lol I have David Chapelle flashbacks happening) It will be the same as real milk, trust me. We'll put pictures of farmers and their kids and cows on the cartons and we'll call it M.I.L.K. (Mechanized Improved Lactate Kream)

In the same vein there was a competition with a million bucks prizemoney for anyone who could produce meat in a petri dish suitable for eating. That's just one kind of tissue, no interfaces, nothing - and as far as I know, the prize is still unclaimed. Milk would be much easier than meat, they're aiming too high. Also $1 million is chicken feed. The VE Holden Commodore cost $1 billion, and thats 100 years after cars were already invented. This machine will pave the way for artificial meat.

You're in the lead for Hairbrained Scheme Of The Day, Graingrower...but it's still early :pThanks!

We'd better get cracking on this idea, I think somebodys already onto it:
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/wo...uman-breast-milk/story-e6frf7lf-1226071579075
 
GG , on the first part , I think I feel sick . On the idea, give it another 20 yrs and the cow probably will become the machine anyway , they seem 1/2 way there now.

Me I'd prefer to just keep letting nature do it's work.

Next " :rolleyes:
 
Thirty years ago, a friend was doing his PhD in growing yeast to produce edible protein to replace meat in diets, especially in third world countries. I would have saved huge amounts of carbon emissions as well but we weren't worried about then.

We actually ate some of the sausages his technology had produced. At that stage each sausage had cost $5,000- the most expensive breakfast I've ever had.

I don't know if that technology ever matured.

Presumably if we could make dietary "meat" from yeast we could make milk.

(Veggie substitutes for meat were available then, things like TVP, so I don't know where his technology fitted into the scheme of things).
 
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