Eloping

[westminster]

We had a really fun wedding/reception. Most of the guests said it was the best wedding they'd been too. It was my dream wedding. The guests asked if the DJ would play for an extra hour and he was enjoying it too so he offered to do it for free so we just left when we were ready and left them to it. I wouldn't change a thing. It's your day, do it how you want to. I was like this most of the day and my jaw muscles ached for a couple of days afterward.

I loved our wedding.
The wedding part was important to us and my family so we actually got married in a Cathedral (my parents are priests). Dad walked me down the aisle then married us
For the reception we did our own thing and didn't want to invite cousins who we only saw at weddings and funerals. We each invited our parents, siblings and one favourite aunt/uncle then the rest were all friends. Basically it was a dinner party with 80 friends.
Little did I know that people weren't supposed to leave until the bride and groom had done - we were the last to leave!

 

[Olly]

Ex hubby & I got married during his lunch break one Friday and were going to do it 'properly' later down the track. He wanted it to be just us but I HAD to have my parents there and so there was just the 4 of us. My elder sister was upset that she hadn't been included and told me so when she found out.

Any way you can just do the wedding thing with immediate family and follow up with a lunch/BBQ then re-do the same thing when you meet up with her family.

2 small intimate groups of family, cheap wedding bill(s), but the important people there on the day and photos to look back on which I'm sure you'll want when the kids come along and start asking questions. Doesn't sound like you've got kids - whole different story when you do.

I would be hurt and upset if my kids eloped/married without inviting me.

 

[jim1964]

Doesn't sound like you've got kids - whole different story when you do.

I dont agree with this,we have 7 kids between us and none of them attended,and when they found out didnt have a problem.We had the celebrant and 2 witnesses.

 

[streetie]

thanks for the many responses.

After reading everyones comments and ideas

im still liking the idea of just taking off with the mrs (no kids) somewhere either in QLD or overseas.
That way no one can complain that they didnt get invited because no one did.

There is many package deals out there. 1 package i liked that i found on the net was going to the whitsundays, and then getting flown out to whitehaven beach on one of those little aqua planes having the ceremony there then fly back and stay in a nice resort for a week or two.

and as a few people mentioned we could come back and have a small party with close friends and family and break the news. Since we have saved so much on not having a wedding, it shouldnt really be a problem to go to Sweden to celebrate with her family

To make it even more memorable and exciting im thinking of not telling her whats going on till I propose and then have everything set up to get married straight after she says yes..

 

[Nemo30]

To make it even more memorable and exciting im thinking of not telling her whats going on till I propose and then have everything set up to get married straight after she says yes..

I'll kill my husband if he did that... or at least say no

 

[streetie]

I'll kill my husband if he did that... or at least say no

haha whys that?

 

[lizzie]

I would as well because it's my day too and I'd want a say in such an important event in my life.

But - back to the original question - my first wedding was a huge affair with hundreds of people I hadn't seen in years and barely remembered. Was a very stressful day.

Second wedding was a casual bbq and got married in the landscaped backyard with only immediate family and close friends. Was lots of fun and loved it ... and my mother/sisters flew in from overseas for it as well.

I have a friend who's been married over 40 years now - she and hubby popped down to the registry office in their lunch hour then took the afternoon off to pick up their son from childcare (out of wedlock and both working ) as their honeymoon. Her mother never forgave her as had already told all the elderly friends that they were already married when the baby came along, so couldn't show them the wedding photos when it actually did happen.

Other friends took off to England and got married in some famous registry office (I think Paul MaCarthy married his first wife there) purely so the family couldn't attend.

Personally I'd see what your wife-to-be wanted to do. Perhaps an intimate wedding with only immediate family and friends - and her immediate family may want to excuse to come out to holiday in Australia anyhow ... or wedding in one country and honeymoon in the other.

 

[streetie]

I would as well because it's my day too and I'd want a say in such an important event in my life.

But - back to the original question - my first wedding was a huge affair with hundreds of people I hadn't seen in years and barely remembered. Was a very stressful day.

Second wedding was a casual bbq and got married in the landscaped backyard with only immediate family and close friends. Was lots of fun and loved it ... and my mother/sisters flew in from overseas for it as well.

I have a friend who's been married over 40 years now - she and hubby popped down to the registry office in their lunch hour then took the afternoon off to pick up their son from childcare (out of wedlock and both working ) as their honeymoon. Her mother never forgave her as had already told all the elderly friends that they were already married when the baby came along, so couldn't show them the wedding photos when it actually did happen.

Other friends took off to England and got married in some famous registry office (I think Paul MaCarthy married his first wife there) purely so the family couldn't attend.

Personally I'd see what your wife-to-be wanted to do. Perhaps an intimate wedding with only immediate family and friends - and her immediate family may want to excuse to come out to holiday in Australia anyhow ... or wedding in one country and honeymoon in the other.

ok so im taking the suprise bit is a bad idea, i thought girls loved that stuff. But yeah i see ur point it is her day too.

 

[Nemo30]

I would as well because it's my day too and I'd want a say in such an important event in my life.

Exactly ! ..

 

[westminster]

thanks for the many responses.

After reading everyones comments and ideas

im still liking the idea of just taking off with the mrs (no kids) somewhere either in QLD or overseas.
That way no one can complain that they didnt get invited because no one did.

There is many package deals out there. 1 package i liked that i found on the net was going to the whitsundays, and then getting flown out to whitehaven beach on one of those little aqua planes having the ceremony there then fly back and stay in a nice resort for a week or two.

and as a few people mentioned we could come back and have a small party with close friends and family and break the news. Since we have saved so much on not having a wedding, it shouldnt really be a problem to go to Sweden to celebrate with her family

To make it even more memorable and exciting im thinking of not telling her whats going on till I propose and then have everything set up to get married straight after she says yes..

Noooooooo - every girl as much as she might want to elope will still want to get a pretty dress and have some nice photos done. She will want a say in this.

If you want to be romantic then take her on a surprise honeymoon or something like that.

BTW there is legal paperwork you need to both do, to get married so you can't do it as a surprise anyway.

 

[Aaron_C]

ok so im taking the suprise bit is a bad idea, i thought girls loved that stuff. But yeah i see ur point it is her day too.

Only in the movies

 

[MTR]

ok so im taking the suprise bit is a bad idea, i thought girls loved that stuff. But yeah i see ur point it is her day too.

Hi Streetie
Am having a problem with this link.
Google " BEST WEDDING PROPOSAL EVER"

Saw this a couple of weeks ago, this is way over the top......what do u think?

 

[Angel]

Hi Streetie

I would love to get married on Whitehaven beach and spend another week or two in a resort. However I agree with the other ladies that you cant make the wedding itself a surprise for your bride. Even when we say that we don't want a traditional wedding, I bet there is hardly a girl on earth who hasn't been secretly designing her own wedding gown.

Could you contact her family and ask them if they would like to come to Australia for a week at the Whitsundays this year? The alternate option of you both going to Sweden for a second ceremony seems perfectly reasonable to me.

 

[Lil Skater]

You could get engaged, elope then invite friends and family for your "engagement party"

 

[wylie]

If it appeals to you both, what about just having a small wedding, with her parents coming over and your parents and any siblings, and your chosen friends being at the nuptials. Then you can have a nice restaurant meal somewhere.

This would have been our perfect day. I could still have enjoyed being a bride without 100 other people witnessing it. I would not have wanted us to have married without telling my parents, or his, but the big wedding was just not "us". We endured it for the sake of our mothers.

If her parents cannot come over, you can head there for another restaurant meal and even another ceremony.

 

[weg]

I bet there is hardly a girl on earth who hasn't been secretly designing her own wedding gown.

That was definately not me.

The type or style didn't enter my head at all before actually going shopping for a dress, and I found a nice dress at a not outrageous price in the first shop i entered .

 

[kathryn d]

That was definately not me.

The type or style didn't enter my head at all before actually going shopping for a dress, and I found a nice dress at a not outrageous price in the first shop i entered .

Me either.
My first wedding was what I referred to as my "funeral clothes"
It was a mint green with lilies..skirt set, that I wore to 2 previous funerals. I almost got married in blue jeans.

Second was an off white basic "little dress" purchased brand new, but 1/2 price. (as seen in my avatar)

I really hate dressing up in anything but jeans/shorts and t shirt.

 

[lizzie]

First wedding dress was a big poofy one because that's what one "did" when getting married as an immature 19 yr old.

Second dress was a dark green shift dress, with dark green lace overlay, that was on sale for half price ... oh ... and barefoot.

Hope you get lots of ideas but - at the end of the day - it is the brides day. You're just the handbag. So put your desires and ideas forward but don't try and override what she wants.

Holiday for the whole immediate family in the Whitsundays is the best idea yet.

 

[geoffw]

So what is the bride thinking as she walks into the church

Of course, she's only thinking of her surrounds.

"Aisle, altar, hymn".

 

[sunshine]

15 years ago this week we eloped in Hawaii. We were married on the beach at sunset with whales frolicking in the background - it was perfect for us.

It wasn't a surprise to our families as we had told them before we left that it may happen. We decided on day 5 of our holiday that we would get married.

After the easy process of getting our marriage licence, we went looking for a resort/location that we both loved. On the way we passed a little church with a phone number and called them up. The lovely Pastor told us what we could do and recommended a photographer who then recommended a florist.

The Pastor and photographer were familiar with the resort so we didn't have to pay any 'wedding fees'. We were married on a bluff, on the beach, outside the resort, whilst still having photos taken in the resort grounds. The photographer was also our witness.

Went for dinner afterwards then phoned home to share the news.

When we got home we had a small gathering for family and friends to celebrate and they got to see the photos.

Would we do it again - ABSOLUTELY. We have no regrets what so ever.


I have a friend who also eloped. She is Irish and he is an Aussie. They wanted a hassle free wedding somewhere neutral. They married at the Maldives. They have no regrets, 20 years later, either.


You cannot and will not please everyone when it comes to your wedding. Follow your own hearts and do what is right for you.


Sunshine