Just for fun...
>> I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
>>But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: "no
>>good in a bed, but fine up against a wall". (Eleanor Roosevelt)
>>
>> The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and
>>a good ending and having the two as close together as possible.
>>(George Burns)
>>
>> Santa Claus has the right idea -- visit people only once a
>>year. (Victor Borge)
>>
>> Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a
>>misprint. (Mark Twain)
>>
>> What would men be without women? Scarce, mighty scarce.
>>(Mark Twain)
>>
>> My wife is a sex object -- every time I ask for sex, she
>>objects. (Les Dawson)
>>
>> By all means marry: If you get a good wife, you'll become
>>happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
>>(Socrates)
>>
>> I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
>>(Groucho Marx)
>>
>> Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be
>>thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. (Charlotte
>>Whitton)
>>
>> My wife has a slight impediment in her speech -- every now
>>and then she stops to breathe. (Jimmy Durante)
>>
>> The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with
>>firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most anything. (Jilly
>>Cooper)
>>
>> I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. (Zsa
>>Zsa Gabor)
>>
>> Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
>>essential food groups: Alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. (Alex
>>Levine)
>>
>> Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The
>>world owes you nothing. It was here first. (Mark Twain)
>>
>> My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would
>>stop dying.
>> (Ed Furgol)
>>
>> What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. (Henny
>>Youngman)
>>
>> I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to
>>offer me the position. (Mark Twain)
>>
>> Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'shut up.' (Joe
>>Namath)
>>
>> I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm
>>very pleased to be anywhere. (George Burns)
>>
>> At my age flowers scare me. (George Burns)
>>
>> Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in
>>life. (Herbert Henry Asquith)
>>
>> The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly,
>>and lie about your age. (Lucille Ball)
>>
>> I don't feel old - in fact, I don't feel anything until
>>noon. Then it's time for my nap. (Bob Hope)
>>
>> A woman drove me to drink -- and I didn't even have the
>>courtesy to thank her. (W. C. Fields)
>>
>> It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I
>>can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. (George
>>Burns)
>>
>> I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
>>(Woody Allen)
>>
>> If only God would give me some sign... a clear sign! Like
>>making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. (Selections from
>>the Allen Notebooks, New Yorker)
>>
>> Another good thing about being poor is that when you are
>>seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in
>>order to gain control of your estate. (Woody Allen)
>>
>> If you want to make GOD Laugh, tell him your plans for the
>>future . (Woody Allen)
>>
>> Those are my principals, if you don't like them...... I have
>>others."
>> (Groucho Marx)
>>
>>
>>____________________________________________________
Simon H
>> I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
>>But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: "no
>>good in a bed, but fine up against a wall". (Eleanor Roosevelt)
>>
>> The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and
>>a good ending and having the two as close together as possible.
>>(George Burns)
>>
>> Santa Claus has the right idea -- visit people only once a
>>year. (Victor Borge)
>>
>> Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a
>>misprint. (Mark Twain)
>>
>> What would men be without women? Scarce, mighty scarce.
>>(Mark Twain)
>>
>> My wife is a sex object -- every time I ask for sex, she
>>objects. (Les Dawson)
>>
>> By all means marry: If you get a good wife, you'll become
>>happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
>>(Socrates)
>>
>> I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
>>(Groucho Marx)
>>
>> Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be
>>thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. (Charlotte
>>Whitton)
>>
>> My wife has a slight impediment in her speech -- every now
>>and then she stops to breathe. (Jimmy Durante)
>>
>> The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with
>>firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most anything. (Jilly
>>Cooper)
>>
>> I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. (Zsa
>>Zsa Gabor)
>>
>> Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
>>essential food groups: Alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. (Alex
>>Levine)
>>
>> Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The
>>world owes you nothing. It was here first. (Mark Twain)
>>
>> My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would
>>stop dying.
>> (Ed Furgol)
>>
>> What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. (Henny
>>Youngman)
>>
>> I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to
>>offer me the position. (Mark Twain)
>>
>> Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'shut up.' (Joe
>>Namath)
>>
>> I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm
>>very pleased to be anywhere. (George Burns)
>>
>> At my age flowers scare me. (George Burns)
>>
>> Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in
>>life. (Herbert Henry Asquith)
>>
>> The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly,
>>and lie about your age. (Lucille Ball)
>>
>> I don't feel old - in fact, I don't feel anything until
>>noon. Then it's time for my nap. (Bob Hope)
>>
>> A woman drove me to drink -- and I didn't even have the
>>courtesy to thank her. (W. C. Fields)
>>
>> It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I
>>can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. (George
>>Burns)
>>
>> I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
>>(Woody Allen)
>>
>> If only God would give me some sign... a clear sign! Like
>>making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. (Selections from
>>the Allen Notebooks, New Yorker)
>>
>> Another good thing about being poor is that when you are
>>seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in
>>order to gain control of your estate. (Woody Allen)
>>
>> If you want to make GOD Laugh, tell him your plans for the
>>future . (Woody Allen)
>>
>> Those are my principals, if you don't like them...... I have
>>others."
>> (Groucho Marx)
>>
>>
>>____________________________________________________
Simon H
