Funny office definitions

I'm cleaning my desk and found this somewhere and liked it enough to print it. Here for your enjoyment...

1. BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
2. SEAGUL MANAGER - A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves. (This one is particularly relevant to my job. Luckily she only flies in occasionally.)
3. ASSMOSIS - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
4. SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
5. CUBE FARM - An office filled with cubicles.
6. PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
7. MOUSE POTATO - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
8. SITCOMs - Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
9. STRESS PUPPY - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
10. SWIPEOUT - An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
11. XEROX SUBSIDY - Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
12. IRRITAINMENT - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or note) was a prime example - Michael Jackson (was) another...
13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
14. ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
15. 404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found", meaning that the requested site could not be located.
16. GENERICA - Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls and subdivisions.
17. OHNOSECOND - The minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake.)
18. WOOFS - Well Off Older Folks
19. CROP DUSTING - Surreptitiously passing wind whilst passing through a cube farm.
 
Yep #3 rings true.

No matter what job you do or where you end up, you still get to see these suckers crawling around.

I come from the reverse assmosis mold.

Its funny to see sometimes.....you get the reverse assmosis guys watching the assmosis guys doing their best.

Its about the best thing going at work these days.

F
 
Back
Top