Grandparents Looking After Grandchildren

[property_girl]

So, we rarely went out, but when we did, we paid for a baby sitter.

I had no help with my children. I had a husband who worked very long hours and no family here. I didn't go to the dentist or the hairdresser for about five years. I still remember going to the dentist after many years and having both children playing 'chasey' around the big chair while I had a filling. I took my children everywhere with me because I didn't have any options. I remember one of the children being sick and not leaving the front door for two weeks.

I didn't go out with friends, have coffees or go shopping because what would I do with the children? After a few years I lost my social skills and got very anxious any time I had to speak to someone in a social context. I then went back to work part time when my husband got very sick and slowly, slowly I started to get back into the world. Now I am fine, but parenting can really isolate you. I think I spent the first two years of my second daughter's life with my husband's flannelette shirt on and baby dribble down my shoulder.

I hope I can be a grandmother who has a relationship with her grandchildren and one who can help out a bit.

 

[kathryn d]

Skater,
That is so sad.
Have you considered your mum lied about your sister, because she was jealous of the relationship you had with her? Both you and your sister could have been told lies, thinking the other doesn't want any contact.

Growing up we had normal contact with our grandparents. We visit them, they visit us. Family picnics etc.
They certainly were never our babysitters, because moms were stay at home parents.

I only worked for a year after my daughter was born, and then quit because childcare was just too hard...and we were finally in financial position, I didn't need to work.
Both sets of grandparents made it clear, they were not going to babysit,(while we worked) which was fine with us.

My kids had probably more contact with their grandparents, as we lived within 30 minutes of both sets. We alternated visiting them on a weekend day, a couple of times a month.

 

[Mooze]

I know we rarely consider a sitter because of not really knowing anyone suitable - we've got one lady we use during day hours if required but she's not available if an evening. We're slowly training up a friends teen but that will take a little while. It's hard bit to be a bit jealous when you hear if others having babysitting offered frequently - especially when your grandparents helped out your parents a lot and would have expected their kids to help out their grand kids in future.


The economic benefits of having grandparents available is huge- the having someone else just able to do a daycare pickup if your meeting runs over would be something that can help or hinder people looking for advancement.

 

[travelbug]

It doesn't take much effort to read through a post to check for spelling errors before posting. In fact travelbug even claimed she did look for errors before posting.

Actually if you read as well as you criticise you would have read that I saw the mistake as I went to post. I sm to busy enjoying my life to reread everything. If you have ever used an iPad you would notice that they have a mind of their own. I'm actually an excellent speller.

I'll waste no more time on your petty remarks now. Congratulations though you've now allerted the world to your petty personality. thank goodness you don't live in Sydney. You'd be a hoot at meet ups.

And no I have not checked for mistakes. I've got to give you something to do.
I'll leave you with your BPD and move on.

I'm rested now. Off to explore more of the world. happy days.!

 

[travelbug]

Skater thanks for sharing your story. It's great to see you have risen above it. You are a lovely person who gets along with everyone. Your lovely family are a credit to you and your hubby.

My parents wouldn't win any awards for parenting. My dad was mostly absent but now (at 84) has decided he wants a daughter to run around helping him. It's a moral dilemma for me as I don't know the man.

My mum and I get on better now but there are still things from my childhood that I'll never forget. I've forgiven her but it has taken me many years to get there.
My nan was lovely. She lived on the other side of Sydney though.i ran away to her place once. I was in primary school. I don't know how I even knew how to get there. It took a bus, 2 trains then another bus. She later moved closer to us. I used to walk kilometres to her place after school.
My grandfather was the loveliest and kindest man I have ever met. I wished I had seen him more often when I was a child. As an adult I saw him often. My mum is antisocial and never bothered with family. I don't know how my mum came from the 2 most amazing grandparents. I just don't get it.

I love spending time with my grandkids. I think it is sad for those that don't have them. My youngest grandson actually has lots of grandparents and great grandparents too. One very loved little boy. He's adorable (but then I'm a little bit biased).

 

[joeExpat]

My kids don't know their Catalan grandfather, and he lives 2km away. Daft family arguments, I don't get involved. They know their Australian nanny well though via Skype and visits.

Child rearers are the heavy lifters of society. Without them everything would collapse, including beloved property values. Government policy should support them as much as possible.

 

[MTR]

My family is really screwed up. Lots of little lies that you see through as you get older.........

I've also got a sister. She is close to mother, and they talk all the time (or so I've been told by mother, years ago). She moved away with no forwarding address about 15 years ago. Mother told me that she didn't want to see me, so she wouldn't give me contact information, but I don't believe this as we were on good terms. I haven't seen or heard from her since.

You never really get used to the rejection......

Luckily I've got a fantastic Hubby, kids & extended family.

Thanks for sharing
Good that you moved on and have a great family, just curious if you want to share do your children ever want to see their grandmother??.

 

[skater]

Thanks for sharing
Good that you moved on and have a great family, just curious if you want to share do your children ever want to see their grandmother??.

No! They are both adults now, so they could if they wanted to, but neither of them do. I think as far as they are both concerned they had really only one set of Grandparents, and they've both now passed away.