help - my IP is haunted!

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From: Anonymous


I know this sounds crazy. I own a small house in Flemington, Melbourne. I bought it from an elderly man after his wife passed away.

My tenants have complained about wierd noises, smells and even furniture moving around. They broke the lease, moved out and didn't even want their bond.

I stayed in the house for two nights. My kitchen utensils were moved around in the morning and heard footsteps on the timber floors constantly. So yeah..I'm scared shitless. What do I do with this property? Has any one else ever heard of this happening?

Spooked.
 
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Reply: 1
From: Dave :)


Hi Anon,

Can't help you there.

Look on the bright side - atleast you'll have a zero vacancy rate.

Dave
:)

{Life's short...play hard}
 
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Reply: 1.1
From: Manny B


Hi Anon,

you have 2 choices:

1. Clean the place up, give it a quick make-over & sell it (but Flemington is a good growth prospect for future growth & it would be best to hold on to it)
2. Contact a priest & see what they can do

Good luck,

Manny.
 
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Reply: 1.2
From: Jude H


OK Spooked, because I'm a nice type of a gal, I'll take it off your hands for you. How does 100K sound?

Jude

~ Never take no for an answer from someone not empowered to say yes ~
 
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Reply: 1.2.1
From: Dave :)


Spooked,

Jude is a lowballer *grins* - ignore her offer.
Your property is worth more than that. I'll give you $110K for it.

Dave
:)
 
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Reply: 1.2.1.1
From: Jude H


111K

Jude

~ Never take no for an answer from someone not empowered to say yes ~
 
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Reply: 1.2.1.1.1
From: Glenn M


111.5K.


By the way, is calling "Ghostbusters" a legitimate property deduction? (Sorry, couldn't help myself, I know this is supposed to be serious!!!)


GlennM.
 
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Reply: 1.2.1.1.1.1
From: Jude H


Knock it off fellas, 112K

Dave you touch this bid and I'll have you!

Jude

~ Never take no for an answer from someone not empowered to say yes ~
 
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Reply: 2
From: Robert Forward


Well Anon, you have yourself a gold mine here.

Keep getting tenants in have them stay 2 days and do a runner leaving not only the bond for you but the first months rent too.

Just think on the returns you will have if you keep doing this, wow, now that will be a positively geared property. I wish one of my properties was haunted.

I think whilst it is vacant we should have a haunted house party their too, what do you think??

Cheers
Robert
 
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Reply: 2.1
From: Jude H


Damn Rob,

Thanks for blowing my strategy :)

Jude

~ Never take no for an answer from someone not empowered to say yes ~
 
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Reply: 2.2
From: Dave :)


Good point Rob...I like it.

Spooked, if you do sell it, sell it to Jude. I'll call you a day later.
That way we can have a 'haunted house' party AND a 'Jude got gazzumped'
party.

*grins*

Cheers,

Dave
:)
 
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Reply: 3
From: Christopher Skase


Im home at last, found a nice place in Flemington but somebody keeps moving my furniture and I cant find the can opener!
 
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Reply: 2.2.1
From: The Wife


This is a joke right?

Anon, I will give you the amount you owe on it, with an extended contract, not subject to finance, not subject to building inspection, and with the spooks, only subject to visual inspection and approval.

Or

I will get rid of or locate the source of the spook problem for $9,425.00


TW
~Life is a daring adventure, or nothing at all~
 
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Reply: 4
From: Michael G


Anon,

Tell ya what I'm gunna do...

For a small processing fee, I'll help you wrap or lease option the property for you.

A continual flow of FHOG grants or premiums is way better than a repeating bond payment.

Email me at mgruber@bigpond.net.au and we can talk terms :)

Regards
Michael Gruber
 
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Reply: 2.2.2
From: The Wife


SSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....
Shuuuuut uuuup Michael Croft!, I could have had a sale there!

TW
~Life is a daring adventure, or nothing at all~
 
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Reply: 4.1
From: Dave :)


hehe...sorry Anon, but this has turned out to be a hilarious thread.

TW, how would you locate or get rid of the source of the spook? And, why did you choose $9,425 for this service?

Is is like, umm, the cost for an additional service offered by someone like Dawsons pest Control? You know...spray some wonder mist around the perimeter of the property and, 'Kaboom' - no more floaty white figures, that wish they starred in 'Changing Rooms'?
 
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Reply: 4.1.1
From: The Wife


Dave,

You work it out ;o)

TW
~Life is a daring adventure, or nothing at all~
 
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Reply: 4.1.1.1
From: Dave :)


TW,

I've got a theory....that's about the cost of getting the site cleared.
But what if knocking it down and building something new still results in
this 'guest' hanging around? You'll give it even more reason to stay -
it's now got a 'new for old' replacement.

How will you locate the source? Buggered if I know. Please, get me out
of my suspenders, I mean, suspense. I need to know. :p
 
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Reply: 4.1.2
From: See Change


Dave

$9425.00 is the standard fee charged under the recommended guidelines published by the Australian Terrestrial exorcism Organisation ( ATO for short ) for a single terrestrial exorcism.

Extraterrestrial exorcisms are covered by the Australian extra Terrestrial exorcism Organisation and due to the higher costs attract a higher charge of $11785.

So far this is an area where competition via discounting hasn't occurred so if you want a proper job ( with a money back guarantee ) you need to pay the full fee.

If you have more than one spirit there is a sliding discount scale , however this discount isn't as much as you would expect. Different spirits require different techniques and much of the process has to be done on a one to one basis.

If you have any questions , feel free to post them or email TW or me .

See change
 
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Reply: 4.1.2.1
From: Dave :)


LMAO!!

See Change, that's the best reply I've read in quite a while.

Can you give us a quick summary on the various 'different spirit'
categories, as well as maybe a link to the appropriate site?

Thanks in advance.

Dave
:)
 
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