hints for communicating in difficult work situations for best results

People that have worked for me in the past are still close to me decades later and still express alot of gratitude and warmth and say i treated them very well.
I used to give alot of appreciation,
and write annoyances down for myself and then go over them a few days later and only mention respectfully the few most vital things sandwiched in appreciation.
I would seek advice from people gifted at resolving issues and communicating effectively .

I wonder how many people feel confident of communicating in sticky work situations and do they find they can do it immediately while still in shock, or do they need to take it away for a day and calm down , clarify a situation and find the best words to communicate. What are your hints to stay calm, clarify and resolve situations and do you try to do it immediately or after calming down.
I probably could have avoided feeling so shocked and stressed in a minor situation recently if i reminded myself that its probably just a miscommunication or misunderstanding, that with a bit of talking could be clarified/resolved.

i wish that i could immediately have thought of all the things that i had clarity about only after a day and a not too bad, but also not so perfect, first communication attempt.

I wonder if this is realistic to think i could have had all the clarity and ideal way of communicating immediately, that came out only after a mediocre not so perfect first attempt?
Things i had clarity about after a day that i wish i could have immediately been clear about were
what were the details of why i felt stressed, which gives us guidelines of what i needed and
how could i best have communicated, or what questions could i have asked to clarify it all, or alternatives offered to solve it immediately.

i knew all the answers clearly after a day an after a not so perfect first attempt
but is it realistic to think i could have done much better immediately and had more clarity and perfect communication immediately.


People say always talk in person not in writing, because in writing tone can be easily misinterpreted. what we write factually, unless its really softened in some way can come across harshly in writing, or even verbally.
Do you always try to follow this rule of talking in person and not in writing?

Can we always feel confident to talk easily clearly in person while still feeling the initial shock/stress.

should we just delay talking about it and try to gain more clarity of the situation before communicating,
or does that prolong our upset which talking sooner might clear up.

In hindsight i wish i had ,
realised i probably didnt have all the info so it was probably just a misunderstanding that could be easily resolved,

relayed back to the person what they were saying and tried to get more info and clarity around it,
and spoken up clearly as to why i found it stressful, and offered an alternative.
But can i really expect to have all that clarity immediately which i had a day later and after a not so perfect first attempt.


do others have hints that have worked for them, or do we just have to forgive ourselves for not having all the clarity and best ways we could have said things immediately , but only a day later or after a not so perfect first attempt.

thanks

FRancine
 
I probably could have avoided feeling so shocked and stressed in a minor situation recently if i reminded myself that its probably just a miscommunication or misunderstanding, that with a bit of talking could be clarified/resolved.

Francine, you sound stressed and you post is confusing.

Have you recently started working?

You need to work out if this 'situation' is worth getting yourself into a state over.

Perhaps you need to relax more and read into things less. You then might be able to communicate with more ease.

If not, your thoughts will be all over the place and your point will not come across as clearly (like in this post).

Sorry I can't be of more help.
 
People say always talk in person not in writing, because in writing tone can be easily misinterpreted. what we write factually, unless its really softened in some way can come across harshly in writing, or even verbally.
Do you always try to follow this rule of talking in person and not in writing?
I actually prefer email, as I can usually communicate a more concise message when I get the chance to think about, and if necessary, reword my response.

Can we always feel confident to talk easily clearly in person while still feeling the initial shock/stress.

And if there's "shock/stress" involved, leave it until you've calmed down.

Just my 2c worth - all comments without completely understanding the context of the OP.
 
do others have hints that have worked for them, or do we just have to forgive ourselves for not having all the clarity and best ways we could have said things immediately , but only a day later or after a not so perfect first attempt.

thanks

FRancine

I think this is the option I've resigned myself too
 
I find that using the model espoused by Marshall Rosenberg in "Non-Violent Communication" is very helpful in preventing escalation:

1) "When ..." - describe the trigger, in unemotive language without interpretation. eg "When you said that I had to work this Saturday"

2) "I felt ..." - describe how you feel, but don't blame anybody else for your feelings. So "I felt disappointed because I had made plans already." (Not "You made me feel..."; nobody else "makes" us feel anything. :))

3) "I need ..." - state the need that you have which wasn't met, which generated the feeling. "I need the certainty of knowing in advance when I'll be required to work on weekends."

4) "Would you be willing ...?" - make a request to try and resolve things. It has to be a request, not a demand. eg "Would you be willing to give me at least one week's notice in future?" or "Would you be willing to consider whether there's somebody else who could work on Saturday?"
 
Top