My guess is with the age group span within this site,a lot of people would have grandkids,and their children married and in their own life,so I'm just wondering what did you look for in someone that comes into the family circle and looks like they are going to be around for a while, one of our daughters is starting to get serious with one young gentleman only seen him 2 times first time I shook his hand had a look into his eyes and next day my daughter asks me why did try to break his hand,what does one look for?..
How do you qualify a future Son in Law..
- Thread starter willair
- Start date
I have no idea, but what are you going to do if you don't like the possible SIL anyway?
My dad and mum didn't like my sister's 1st boyfriend, it was on-off for 3 years and rather volatile. He had a bad reputation, turned up shirtless for the first meeting and quite a few times thereafter. Dad reluctantly accepted the relationship after my sis got pregnant but even their 1st grandchild took a while to soften mum's opinion of him. They have now celebrated 30 years of marriage.
You need a strategy!!
My dad and mum didn't like my sister's 1st boyfriend, it was on-off for 3 years and rather volatile. He had a bad reputation, turned up shirtless for the first meeting and quite a few times thereafter. Dad reluctantly accepted the relationship after my sis got pregnant but even their 1st grandchild took a while to soften mum's opinion of him. They have now celebrated 30 years of marriage.
You need a strategy!!
You get to know his parents and understand their relationship.
Do you trust your daughter's judgement?
My parents only met my now husband twice. First when we started dating and they pretty much don't agree of me moving out with him. The second is before the wedding. Granted they live overseas, but I trust my judgement
Treat him like you would a potential tenant, bank statements, employment records, TICA check, references etc
I think just get to know them, spend some time here and there but not be too obtrusive. I'm not sure you need to 'qualify' them, as it's a good chance your daughter will see who she wants to see anyway.
I think just get to know them, spend some time here and there but not be too obtrusive. I'm not sure you need to 'qualify' them, as it's a good chance your daughter will see who she wants to see anyway.
I have already have an idea on the parents very good hardworking non investing outside super people, as my wife tells me just stand back and say nothing,that's all I'm going to do just part of life ,you carry them in the front door look after them from day one and someone walks in 26 years later and walks out with them..
Typical procedures. Freedom of Information claim against their employer and Medicare for employment/health records; FOI against Australian Federal Police for their mobile phone and banking records. Magnetic GPS tracker underneath their car. This is before the hair sample to test for drugs and the polygraph.
Invite him around for a family dinner. Then interrogate him on his political leanings, what footy team he follows and whether he can fix things. Maybe have a questionnaire handy.
I don't think I will need to go in that far,just a quick check to see if the gentleman as their is a small age difference has a family or children from previous relationships,but from the way we have bought up our daughters
I just hope he knows what he's in for
,..How do you qualify a son in law
You don't. You live with your daughter's choice and respect that they are on their journey. You hope for the best and be there to pick up the pieces if/when it unravels. Easier said than done.
You don't. You live with your daughter's choice and respect that they are on their journey. You hope for the best and be there to pick up the pieces if/when it unravels. Easier said than done.
Here's 43 questions to help you make a start: http://janellegems.expertscolumn.com/article/43-questions-fathers-ask-their-daughters-boyfriend
You can't .
Our daughters first boyfriend was everything parents could hope for ... But he had to move back to Melb and after a year of a long distance relationship they decided the distance was too far .
Enter number two ... Almost every one took an instant dislike to him . Eventually broke up but lasted for over two years . First family gathering ( fairly formal wedding ) he turned up with his shirt buttoned down to his waist and a shark tooth necklace trying to look like a shorter version of Antonio Banderos , with out the class
Only met his father once , never met mum , but heard lots of stories . Lived above their means , spoilt the kids rotten , have them new cars which they had no respect for , went on expensive holidays they couldn't afford and now getting close to retirement they're back renting .
He was just lazy and expected people to wait on him . Our daughter tutored him through his last couple of uni courses which he had failed . He talks the talk , but doesn't walk the walk .
Good learning experience for our daughter . She ' s more selective and has broken off with two guys since then because she couldn't see a long term future , one because he wasn't prepared to drive over the bridge to go to a restaurant she liked ...
Cliff
And I thought it got easier with age...
I have 2 daughters one 17 and one 15..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKSmMr0uOHk
I have 2 daughters one 17 and one 15..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKSmMr0uOHk
Already done that,but when you have three other daughters one in the final year psychologist masters ,plus the "Wife" all asking questions all sitting around the dinner table I only asked a few questions ,they have already made up their minds,i just intend to take him down the german club next week and have a drink of some of those above 8% beers and have a talk..
Qualify Future Son In Law
My Comment was an over simplification of the situation. The process for my daughter from meeting to ending the relationship took 10 years. She came home 3 times over that period and I had to learn to step back and accept the process despite how I felt. Yes my daughter did grow from the experience.
One of my girls recently said she suspected when she bought a boyfriend home he would be invited out to my shed so I could see what his DIY skills are like.
I told her I would certainly be keen to have a chat with him about the appropriate use of tools.
They're at an age where that one went over their heads.
I told her I would certainly be keen to have a chat with him about the appropriate use of tools.
They're at an age where that one went over their heads.
My Dad had no say- living overseas he met my now husband at our engagement party.
Also it can go either way - son in law or daughter in law - I'm not looking forward to 16 years time when our son starts dating - we'll have moved by then as I asked myself what would I think if he brought home a local girl - the vast majority in this town I'd be horrified, a few nice families with good ambitions for their kids but the majority are happy if they complete year 10
Also it can go either way - son in law or daughter in law - I'm not looking forward to 16 years time when our son starts dating - we'll have moved by then as I asked myself what would I think if he brought home a local girl - the vast majority in this town I'd be horrified, a few nice families with good ambitions for their kids but the majority are happy if they complete year 10
