How do you qualify a future Son in Law..

[WilliamB]

There is one movie scene that come to mind when it comes to interrogating a potential suitor. Given I am soon to be first time father to a girl, this is one of the things I believe I will most look forward to.

Hopefully this is acceptable with youtube link. Apologies, and please remove if not.

Bad Boys 2 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRiT3ISEN3M

It contains language etc, but very funny.

 

[TMNT]

There is one movie scene that come to mind when it comes to interrogating a potential suitor. Given I am soon to be first time father to a girl, this is one of the things I believe I will most look forward to.

Hopefully this is acceptable with youtube link. Apologies, and please remove if not.

Bad Boys 2 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRiT3ISEN3M

It contains language etc, but very funny.

that is one of my all time favourite movie scenses!!!!!!!!

 

[pinkboy]

If he is still around, as your Father in Law how he quantified you.

Remember you were that guy once.


pinkboy

 

[WattleIdo]

...I shook his hand had a look into his eyes and next day my daughter asks me why did try to break his hand,what does one look for?..

I don't know but I suspect you're about to become a feminist...

Whatever you do, let it be easy to be around you because you don't want him thinking twice about attending Christmases and other occasions. You want them dropping in a lot and maybe even asking you for advice on how to handle any difficult situations that might arise.

Anyway, it's still early days!!!

 

[wylie]

We have been through this with two of our sons, meeting partners, getting close to those partners, and then they break up, and we have to get used to the new squeeze.

If you don't get on with them, there is nothing much you can do.

 

[marg4000]

Best advice we were given was to stay out of our kids love lives. Interference often backfires. Choice was entirely up to them.
Marg

 

[Peter_Tersteeg]

Best advice we were given was to stay out of our kids love lives. Interference often backfires. Choice was entirely up to them.
Marg

I completely agree that interference backfires, but I don't think it's right not to say something when you completely disagree with someone's choice. You do need to make sure your argument is well thought out and logical though (and even then they're not going to listen).

My sister is going through a very nasty divorce at the moment. Nobody in my family has likely him from the start, she was aware of this but ignored what we said. She regrets not listening now.

Of course, others opinions aren't always right either. People questions other's choice of partner and are completely wrong.

Even when you're right, you're probably not going to win.

 

[skater]

You don't. You live with your daughter's choice and respect that they are on their journey.

Exactly! As an adult, she gets to make the choice of who she wants to spend her life with. Some girls will make great choices, some won't. You just sit back & respect her wishes and support her, however it turns out.

 

[MTR]

Ditto, Charlotte/Skater

Daughter 1 just broke up with boyfriend of 7 years, quite sad for us because he was the dream future son-in-law.

I want the best for my children but at the end of the day its their life, if you don't accept this you may be in for a world of pain, worse you may lose your children.

MTR

 

[datto]

I remember when my ex wanted me to meet her old man. I rocked up with a six pack and my billy.

Things were going great till we started arm wrestling. When he realised I couldn't beat him he kicked me out. Don't know if it was the arm wrestling or if he just got sick of me. He was the strongest 60 year old I ever met.

 

[DaveM]

Get him to fill in Rolfs fact finder. 327 pages of insider info

 

[gottabespotless]

Good thread. It brings back some memories.

Little did I know that when now-hubby turned up to take me on our first date, he and my father had known each other for years! Ah, the joys of living in a small town. My brother seemed to have all the gossip on him too - all was good apparently, and anything he was unsure about he assured Dad he'd "find out" for him, ha ha. Big brothers can be good value.

Thankfully, my Dad was more than enthusiastic about me dating him, he even said to my mum, "when it comes to boyfriends for our daughter I don't think she could do any better around here than that fine young bloke". OK?! Thanks very much dad ... I think .

17 years later and we joke that my husband is my parent's 'favourite'.

Our young teenage son, with a very serious look on his face, recently commented that he will not marry any woman who doesn't "atleast have a 'sizeable' deposit for a property saved up and a decent 'earning capacity' ". Yeah, righto...

 

[redwing]

The answers are all in the movie

 

[nhg]

Currently 4 weeks into a 6 week stint at my fiances parents place in Venezuela.

Meeting ALL the family.

I?m fortunate they are quite chill, not that they have much choice, fiance has her way every time.

Things they have told me they looked for was
1. can i support her and am I in control of my financial situation
2. do i drink excessively or have other vices (dont drink)
3. religion and political leanings
4. vision for our future and if they align to an extent
5. do i maker her happy and genuinly love her
6. do i treat the family well and get along with my own family

other than that, we will simply grow as people so have to really just take a risk.

i seem to rub them the right way and tick all their boxes, however dont neccessarily tick all the fiances, especially regarding financial responsibility. yep, 5 houses doesnt cut it and no TALK of kids until making $60k post profit a month.

 

[D.T.]

Currently 4 weeks into a 6 week stint at my fiances parents place in Venezuela.

Meeting ALL the family.

I?m fortunate they are quite chill, not that they have much choice, fiance has her way every time.

Things they have told me they looked for was
1. can i support her and am I in control of my financial situation
2. do i drink excessively or have other vices (dont drink)
3. religion and political leanings
4. vision for our future and if they align to an extent
5. do i maker her happy and genuinly love her
6. do i treat the family well and get along with my own family

other than that, we will simply grow as people so have to really just take a risk.

i seem to rub them the right way and tick all their boxes, however dont neccessarily tick all the fiances, especially regarding financial responsibility. yep, 5 houses doesnt cut it and no TALK of kids until making $60k post profit a month.

Bolded part, emphasis mine. Is she more financially advanced than you? Who decided what 'cuts it'?

 

[skater]

Currently 4 weeks into a 6 week stint at my fiances parents place in Venezuela.

So that's where you disappeared to?

 

[willair]

Thanks a lot for all the input , especially from all the Ladies and they way they think,but to give a update took the young gentleman down the german club yesterday afternoon just prior too the start ,they have a happy hour in the afternoon $7.50 pints of black beer 8%,bought him the knackwurst sausages and had a good talk,told him about my family how my Father jumped ship after WW2,my Wife Asian Wife side of our family and where I started,we had a good talk,and half way through eating the sausages I asked him if there was any hiding the sausage going on with our daughter,all he said he has too much for our respect for her,and looking into him he was serious,that all I need to know,as long as I told him some Ladies are high maintenance,and some will work as a team with you as long as you don't breaks the rules,because if you do there are none..Thanks..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G333Is7VPOg

 

[TMNT]

however dont neccessarily tick all the fiances, especially regarding financial responsibility. yep, 5 houses doesnt cut it and no TALK of kids until making $60k post profit a month.

and what does she/her family bring to the table in terms of finances?

 

[MTR]

Currently 4 weeks into a 6 week stint at my fiances parents place in Venezuela.

Meeting ALL the family.

I?m fortunate they are quite chill, not that they have much choice, fiance has her way every time.

Things they have told me they looked for was
1. can i support her and am I in control of my financial situation
2. do i drink excessively or have other vices (dont drink)
3. religion and political leanings
4. vision for our future and if they align to an extent
5. do i maker her happy and genuinly love her
6. do i treat the family well and get along with my own family

other than that, we will simply grow as people so have to really just take a risk.

i seem to rub them the right way and tick all their boxes, however dont neccessarily tick all the fiances, especially regarding financial responsibility. yep, 5 houses doesnt cut it and no TALK of kids until making $60k post profit a month.

Number 5, a dumb question, only your partner can answer this.

you are in luck future in laws live on the other side of the world

 

[jim1964]

you are in luck future in laws live on the other side of the world

I thought the same.Ive had my fair share of in laws and take me as i am,at the end of the day its the relationship you have with your partner, Family can have an opinion,but that's where it stops.