I hate the home we bought - what now??

[stevie_sloth]

Heya

Nope, have never had any treatment. I don’t feel depressed ALL the time, but I DO feel this constant unhappiness because I know that even when I’m spending time in places I love, that I have to come back eventually and that thought makes everything feel dark.

I’m from Melbourne originally and while I love it, I always wanted to live up here (on the Gold Coast), and we moved 8 years ago and rented for 5 years, very happily, even though as I said, no dishwasher, no pets allowed, not as nice in terms of carpet and quality of finishes, etc. But the location…it was WHY I moved, sort of. It was 5 doors from the beach, a lovely relaxing and uplifting 10 minute walk to my favourite place in the world…and a 10 minute walk to the big shopping centre nearby. Everything was nice, and EASY. We could get buses easily and go places with no real issues. The place was 3 bedrooms and although we still had too much stuff for it to feel properly spacious, it did feel like a house, because it was an L-shape and you couldn’t see every room from the lounge, like you can at our place now. I hate that. It feels SO claustrophobic. It’s just the layout.

I still don’t think I’m depressed because of other factors. I think it’s just that I’m simply not happy where I live, and haven’t been since we moved in. I mean, we couldn’t afford to keep renting (rent would go up by $30-$40 a week every 6 months) and wanted to get on the property ladder so to speak, but I didn’t really want to move…I loved living where we did, SO much. For many weeks before we moved, although as I said, I was distracted by renovations and stuff at the new place, I was just NOT wanting to leave…every week I’d count down and feel this sense of dread about leaving and being in the new place.

We just feel as if our place now is a temporary place…like we’re in limbo or something. It feels more like we’re renting than our last place did, because our old place felt much more like HOME. I remember walking home up our old street one day just before we moved, and wondering if I’d ever have that nice homely familiar feeling walking home to our NEW place down our NEW street…cause up until then, I always felt lost whenever I went there (to organise tradesmen, etc) and only felt happy and “safe” again when coming home to our old place. I assumed once we’d moved and had all our stuff in our new place, it’d feel like home and it’d then feel strange to come back to our OLD place and street. But you know what? It doesn’t. It STILL doesn’t feel safe or like home to walk up our current street…I often go back to our old street (not to actually look at the old place or anything. I’m not that strange. Lol.) and it still feels like home. It feels RIGHT.

And when I’d go to the new place after work to organise tradesmen and things (cause I could walk there from work), I’d always be in a rush to just get HOME, back to our old place. And I only felt right when I got back there…back to our old street. (well, technically I started, and still do start, feeling “right” when I get to this place about 10 minutes away from it. That’s my happy place, from there)…and then on moving day, when I came home from work to our new place and knew I wouldn’t be going back to our old place…it felt SO TERRIBLE! I felt completely trapped and physically SICK actually. Like I felt this fear and just wanted to go home. That feeling has obviously lessened greatly, but…it’s still there. Except now I don’t feel the specific need to go back to our OLD place, but I just want ANY place that feels RIGHT to me.

It’s hard to admit, but I feel like we’ve not really made any good happy memories since we’ve been at our “new” place…it’s as if it’s just all temporary until we can start properly LIVING again and continue on with our lives as we did before. How sad is that??!

Oh, and I do just want to reiterate, I do not HATE our place. I feel guilty for feeling this way. It’s just we had to find somewhere to move to, we had no real options, it was good on paper, it was in our budget, but…there was no FEELING when we went there. You know how you get that feeling when you walk into a place to inspect it? You either love it, hate it, or there’s just nothing…and this place was nothing. It’s as if it’s not for US. It’s still waiting for the right person who WILL love it. And I hope that happens…I really do. But I want to be able to love a place too, you know? I’ve been very lucky with my previous homes. They’ve all had that FEELING. I just took it for granted that this one would eventually too.

 

[RumpledElf]

'feel' is very important.

When we bought our current house, it was a serious dump noone in their right mind would live in. But it had good bones, and 'felt' good. So good it was supposed to be an IP and we ended up moving into it instead and selling our PPoR.

2 years on it is this absolutely gorgeous little cottage, great location, wonderful neighbours, bright and airy and would be lovely to live in IF it was bigger and had a separate toilet. Even little things like the water pressure and the height of the shower are good - admittedly we tweaked a lot of small annoyances (no extractor fan in the bathroom left it a sodden mess, for example) but it is great now. At the moment all the plants I put in last year are flowering like crazy and the yard is just lovely. All is good! Well, the bathroom is currently gutted and our off-peak hot water isn't working, but those are temporary.

I'm not depressed, can you tell?

We're moving to a new house next door soon. I'm hoping it 'feels' as nice as this one does.

Don't buy anything major for yourself unless you really love it! (and have done the research for public transport etc etc)

 

[ldriver]

I get this. We've been in limbo for long enough-we don't consider this place home at all- its just been a parking spot as its the wrong house and wrong suburb. We're moving as soon as I can find a new place.

Given the money we've lost on changeover, can't afford to get it wrong this time.

 

[stevie_sloth]

I'm so glad you get it...not to say the depression theory is 100% wrong, but I think, completely honestly, in my specific case, I'm PRONE to NEEDING to have that "feeling" where I live because I don't get to see my parents, friends, etc (who live in Melbourne), and I miss certain things about Melbourne as well, so I NEEEEEED to have compensatory things up here to be happy. BUT having said that, if I have them, I AM happy. (and I don't need a perfect place or a mansion or something like that to be happy in a property)

Like, seriously, if when we considered moving up here, it was ONLY going to be where we live now? I'd still be in Melbourne, and pretty happy. There's no way I'd have moved. The Gold Coast I love is walking along the beach, going for dinner in Broadbeach, Pacific Fair, being able to walk to places, walking down Hedges Avenue and looking at the ritzy houses, hopping on highway buses to wherever...etc. Just really little, SIMPLE things.

Now? It takes us forever to get anywhere, we spend more time waiting for buses than we do actually AT our destination, and we can't walk anywhere except places we don't particularly want to go.

And also, in terms of the feeling of a place, at our old place, part of this was the location (and SO much the layout, as well as the fact it was elevated. First floor. Anonymity. Could walk around topless all the time if I wanted, which I did, heheh), because it was always in my consciousness that when I was lying on the couch for instance, I could FEEL that just outside was this lovely street that went down to the beach and just over there was Broadbeach, and blah blah...I could feel all that even when I was inside and couldn't see it. (we had a little balcony but no real view. There was a big white mansion type house next to us and we just looked onto that, but I didn't care)

When we first saw our place, it was just me inspecting alone cause my partner was at work (I work part time), and I never liked it, but didn't hate it either. It was dark (tenants lived there who worked at night and slept during the day), furniture was hideous, carpet needed replacing, but otherwise it was ok. All I could focus on was the practicalities. It was big enough (just), it had a storeroom downstairs, it had 2 bedrooms, ensuite, we could have pets, it had a nice big balcony...but we had to go back 6 separate times before we FINALLY decided to buy it. After each time, we'd go right back online to keep looking. If it had been the right place, we wouldn't have done that. That always bothered me, this whole time. I just had this niggle that it wasn't the right decision, but we had no real choice as there was nothing else, and really hasn't been until more recently. (also, with the place we recently found and fell in love with, but lost due to it being too expensive, we kept looking online after seeing it, but only cause we didn't really think we'd be able to buy it. But our hearts weren't in the property search anymore. We just wanted THAT place. I never felt that way about our current place at all)

I feel like I made a big mistake in buying...and it hurts to admit that, cause again, there's nothing wrong with the property at all. It's quite lovely. I used to think we didn't make a financial mistake, just an emotional one in terms of our quality of life and happiness. BIG mistake. And I still think that. But now I'm not so sure we didn't make a financial mistake as well, cause prices here seem to have gone down since we bought, which SUCKS. We hoped by now we'd have made a bit of money just so we could sell and move somewhere HAPPY, but no. Not yet.

I just keep longing for a happy place...I feel I want to "re-do" things once we do move. Meaning, certain things we've done that are enjoyable over the past 2 years, I want to do them again as if for the first time, once we're actually HAPPY again where we live. Like our cats. I said in my previous post I felt we've made no new happy memories since moving, but we HAVE (especially in terms of our baby cat "sons"), but I have the strongest urge to "start again"...like once we get into a new place, we'd be able to REALLY make memories and REALLY enjoy having our cats, and I can watch all my DVDs again and enjoy not only watching them for their content, but also just sitting in a place I LOVE to be in!! Right now I watch DVDs and TV partly for a distraction.

That's another thing. I find when I'm happy and content in my surroundings, I can just BE. Just lie and day dream and relax...it's a lovely feeling. We stay in this nice hotel / apartment when we go for holidays in Sydney for instance, and I LOVE the decor of this place. The rooms are small cause it's a hotel, but I love it. It's so warm, the layout is good...I love being in ALL the areas. I love just BEING in the lounge area, I love being in the bedroom, I love being in the bathroom...all of it I love!! But here? I have no places I love to be, and thus I need to be always DOING something. I don't like silence and I don't like having no distractions. I am always on the computer or watching something on TV. And that's just really further compounded by the fact I also don't like to be OUT either, cause I don't like the area.

What can I say? I'm a Libra. Aesthetics are all important. lol

 

[weg]

When we bought our first home to live (first was an IP while we rented) it wasn't near a cafe strip, a beach or in a ritzy area. The house wasn't particularly attractive either but we changed that over time and turned it into a beautifully renovated home.

All that didn't worry us though because we were realistic knowing we would one day have the choice of moving to almost any area we wanted. This is usually how you start off, unless somebody gives you a helping hand.

Your choices are:

#1 Rent your place out, give your cats to a good home (unless you find a LL that lets you keep them) and then rent in the area of your choice.

#2 Sell and rent in the area of your choice. If there's a loss you may have to wear it.

#3 Stay put, and accept and remind yourselves you can't always have everything immediately.


Each choice needs compromises to be made.

 

[marg4000]

My first thought was, why not see if you can rent and then rent out your townhouse?

Yes, with cats it may take a while to find a place that will accept pets, but if you were to move somewhere more convenient you will see if that makes you happier.

This may cost you a bit, but will not be as costly as selling/buying expenses, especially if it helps you to clarify your thoughts.

Is the necessity to be close to transport a permanent thing, or do you hope/intend to buy a car one day? If your reliance on public transport is not permanent, then keeping your property may make sense, even if you rent it out and rent yourself elsewhere.

And do have a chat to your doctor. While you may not have depression, I think you are unhappy enough to benefit from medical advice.
Marg

 

[Perp]

stevie_sloth, it may well be that there are objective reasons why your current home is not very compatible with your lifestyle. But if you weren't depressed, this would be a frustration/disappointment, but not enough to "make" you depressed. If you were in A1 emotional health, you would cope, and find ways to put a positive spin on it.

Everything you say about this place screams at me that you're incapable of putting any positive spin on your situation, which is a classic sign of depression.

Depression is not a sign of weakness, and it's not a sign that there's anything wrong with your relationship or your life, so nobody is attacking you when they suggest you may be depressed. When both friends and strangers are suggesting this, you have to ask whether there might be something to it. You're obviously highly resistant to the idea, but would it really hurt to talk to somebody, such as your GP?

 

[batgirl]

Stevie, I agree with Weg.

Either move (renting your place out and renting yourselves probably what I would do if the lifestyle aspect is so important to you) or do something to the place to make it more what you like. Probably plenty of people here have had to put up with places they didn't really like, but were good buys for other reasons. Maybe think of it as a temporary place on a journey to somewhere better.

My first apartment was a dank dump. My first townhouse a 70s/80s decor disaster and dark and too further from the train station than I thought, , my little house now is sweet, light , bright but not what I will live in forever.

Addit:
There's a lot of people on this forum who have the ability to diagnose someone with depression without even seeing them based on a few comments. I sure don't. I'm just a humble ED nurse and wouldn't give people medical advice outside of work .

However, having said that-as someone suggested - might be worth a visit to a GP. Everyone should have one that they can get on with a trust. Hope it's easier to find one on the Gold Coast than Newcastle! They are trained and can at least sort out depression from other medical and life problems.

 

[Perp]

There's a lot of people on this forum who have the ability to diagnose someone with depression without even seeing them based on a few comments.

I can only assume that's targeted at me, but that would be unjust. stevie_sloth herself said in her initial post in this thread:

I think I've been depressed for 2 years now because of this.

and I don't see anybody else saying that she is depressed, just that she may be depressed - which doesn't seem unreasonable in light of her own statement - and several people suggesting that she talk to her GP, as you did yourself.

 

[DJBarnstar]

When we bought our first home to live (first was an IP while we rented) it wasn't near a cafe strip, a beach or in a ritzy area. The house wasn't particularly attractive either but we changed that over time and turned it into a beautifully renovated home.

All that didn't worry us though because we were realistic knowing we would one day have the choice of moving to almost any area we wanted. This is usually how you start off, unless somebody gives you a helping hand.




Each choice needs compromises to be made.

I Like this! Exactly what I am going through at the moment... But there is light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[The Y-man]

.... But now I'm not so sure we didn't make a financial mistake as well, cause prices here seem to have gone down since we bought, which SUCKS. We hoped by now we'd have made a bit of money just so we could sell and move somewhere HAPPY, but no. Not yet.

My 2cents worth - "What price is happiness" and "What is being unhappy costing you?"

My questions would NOT be how much you make or lose on your current place, but purely based on the "cost of moving to new place".

Also - something I am not sure if you have considered - if your place has gone down in value, surely your dream place has also gone down? (or at lest not gone up much?)

Even the activity of starting to search for your potential new place might brighten you up?

The Y-man

 

[stevie_sloth]

Yes, the activity of simply being able to LOOK seriously (maybe?) for a new place DOES definitely brighten me up. I've been longing to start looking for a long time now, so at least there's that.

And oh yes, of course we see that prices have gone down in our target areas as well as our own area. This is why we've become serious about looking in those areas we've always loved, because now we see they HAVE come down and MAYBE they're within our reach now, whereas before when we bought, they were our of our budget.

And yep, we're not in this to make a profit. That'd be GREAT and a HUGE help to our dwindling savings, but our aim is to just be HAPPY in a place we love. It's annoying and frustrating to have our property value go down, especially when we can SEE the places we actually DO love going for cheap prices but we STILL can't get them because OUR'S has gone down MORE than they have...

Some other comments...

We CANNOT give our cats away. That's simply out of the question. I've always had cats, my whole life. I didn't wait through 5 (albeit happy) years of renting to finally have cats again, only to give them away!!

We don't mind renting...we know it'd be throwing away money BUT we'd be happy...that's not the issue in and of itself. We just can't AFFORD to move and then pay say, $20,000 in rent for a year, and THEN pay the normal buying / selling costs and moving expenses AGAIN when we buy a new permanent place. We won't be in a position of having any MORE money in a year, as our jobs are basic office administration ones and simply don't get any pay rises ever. Everything else goes up, our salaries remain the same and have done for the last 3 years. We use our savings if anything breaks or goes wrong or for unexpected purchases and also some bills that our wages don't cover.

The thing with renting is wherever we'd rent would cost us more per week than we'd GET in rent for our place, even not taking out agent's fees and such. We would have to pay at least $380 (and probably more like $400) a week for our rental place, and we'd get about $340 for our own place in renting it out, minus the agent fees and also tax comes out of that, and also we'd still be paying $80 a week in body corporate fees and rates in addition to that. And obviously our home loans. But of course, the whole point in doing it wouldn't be to make money, it'd be for our happiness and the step-by-step journey to buying a new place, but we just can't afford to spend even MORE money!!

We've never driven and have no intentions of ever doing so. We can't afford to keep a car for one thing, and neither of us have valid licenses. We're both from interstate (me = Melbourne, partner = Sydney) and you don't need to drive there usually. We never needed to anyway. More than adequate public transport.

It's kind of different here...in Melbourne for instance, even if you're totally restricted by the need for public transport, you've got trains, trams and some buses with frequent and SOMEWHAT reliable services, and there are many of them widespread and fairly convenient...and so as long as you choose a place that you can access these services easily, you're good. And there's a MUCH wider choice of areas too...in Melbourne for instance, I'd be happy in...

- Elsternwick
- Hampton
- Balaclava
- Bentleigh
- Cheltenham
- Mentone
- Armadale
- South Yarra
- Prahran
- Sandringham

And so on...problem is, even if we wanted to move back, we can't afford anything there either! Nothing is in our budget!!

But up on the Gold Coast...our location choices are really restrictive because of the huge lack of easy transport...once you go inland from the beach road / highway, the buses become really unreliable and few and far between. Where we live now is not far away from anything, but the local bus goes every 1.5 hours on weekends, is usually either 10 minutes early or up to 30 minutes late, and stops at 6.30pm on weekdays and 4.30pm on weekends. It's quite ridiculous.

Places that are only 5-10km away take AGES to get to. In Melbourne for instance, to go from say, Prahran to the city takes 10 minutes. But to go the same distance here, even along the main highway, can take up to 30 minutes.

That's the other thing - I love Melbourne obviously, but I also love it up here...although before we moved into the place I'm unhappy in, I didn't really consider moving back to Melbourne any time soon because I was happy HERE. But ever since we moved, I've found myself missing Melbourne more and sort of...not seriously thinking of moving back, but...just playing with the idea in my mind sometimes. If we could actually afford something we'd like there in the areas we like, those thoughts MAY become slightly more serious, but I'm not sure.

Anyway...I think my main thing is...clearly it sucks being unhappy where you live all the time and for several years, and yes it IS a stepping stone and it's all a journey to finding a better place AFTER your first property...I do know this...but I find it hard to take, because I feel I did sacrifice a lot to move up here, and for what? To be this unhappy in a place? I didn't leave behind people and places I love for THIS. I feel I'm wasting my life, being unhappy, and that I don't have time to feel this way for more years. It would be worth missing my parents and friends if I was happy, but is it when I'm not??

 

[marg4000]

If transport is the main bugbear, have you thought of buying motorised push bikes (no licence needed)? These take the "work" out of cycling and are great for distances of 5km or so.

A friend's son bought one to get to and from work when he lost his licence, and kept using it once he got his licence back.
Marg

 

[Aaron Sice]

And so on...problem is, even if we wanted to move back, we can't afford anything there either! Nothing is in our budget!!

Anyway...I think my main thing is...clearly it sucks being unhappy where you live all the time and for several years, and yes it IS a stepping stone and it's all a journey to finding a better place AFTER your first property...I do know this...but I find it hard to take, because I feel I did sacrifice a lot to move up here, and for what? To be this unhappy in a place? I didn't leave behind people and places I love for THIS. I feel I'm wasting my life, being unhappy, and that I don't have time to feel this way for more years. It would be worth missing my parents and friends if I was happy, but is it when I'm not??

understand where you're coming from 100% - we are in a slightly similar situation ourselves.

we've just decided to grin and bear it for a little while, make do with what we have and keep trying.

can get to us at times, but if it's that bad just suck up the losses and move. it's only money, if you've made it before you can make it again.

 

[stevie_sloth]

Yeah...I've just always been wary about making big losses that's all...

My money...it's awkward. Our home loan for our current place is through my mum. I pay no interest, my partner pays less interest than the lenders would charge...

We've looked into finance for another place (which we'd need since we'd have to buy before selling our own place), and the most we can get would be about $380,000 BUT we simply cannot afford to make the repayments on that.

I only earn $420 a week after tax for goodness sake. Already ALL of that goes on bills.

Sigh.

Anyway, when we do eventually find something we love that we can actually AFFORD (if that ever happens), we'll jump at the chance and we will be ECSTATIC!

Oh, and motorised bike, eh? Did you know I can't even ride a normal bike!? lol. I never learnt and am majorly uncoordinated physically, so the few times I've tried haven't ended well, lol.

Like just a tiny example of the little day-to-day things that get me down over the years and combine to make me unhappy in general...

We always go out for dinner on Friday nights, pretty much always to my favourite place which is a 10 minute walk from where we USED to live.

Today it's been raining all day.

Because of where we live and how I have to get to places, I've already gotten totally drenched twice today (walking to and from work. It's only 10-15 minutes which is nice, but there's no other option but to walk. There's no bus service that goes from my area to my office area at all. I'd have to get a cab which would cost $10 each way. I don't even earn enough per hour to cover the return trip so can't justify it unless it's absolutely ridiculously violent rain), and REALLY don't want to have to go out again and get soaked a third time...

I have to either walk 15 minutes in the rain, then wait in the rain for a bus to go to dinner, or wait around the corner from where we live for a bus, which usually doesn't turn up at this time on a Friday (I tend to wait around 30-40 minutes each time I try and get this bus), and the shelter isn't very rain-proof, so I'd get wet there too. Then change buses and get another bus to where I'm going out for dinner. Then to come home again, we'd get a bus and then either have to walk back or get a cab. If I got both buses and the cab, it'd cost me more than my MEAL.

So...we're not going out for dinner tonight. And that makes me sad because I look forward to my Friday dinners out, although nowhere near as much as I used to...

So...you know, everyone's got their negatives, day-to-day...most people don't LIKE going to work for instance. I certainly don't. I can't wait to get out! But then...I need some POSITIVE day-to-day things to offset the negatives...just little things like coming home and being content with where I live. Feeling a sense of RELIEF and happiness upon walking in the door. I used to feel that every single day at our old place. Then Fridays I REALLY used to look forward to because it was like when I finished work, my weekend officially started because there was nothing I HAD to do that I really didn't WANT to do until Monday morning. I'd look forward to the beautiful park or beach walk to our favourite place where we'd then have dinner...and then the walk back home...the evening seemed to stretch before us, forever. That positive little thing used to counteract the negative of work. But I don't have that anymore. We still go to this place most Fridays for dinner, but...it takes longer to get there than we spend actually THERE, and getting there is UNPLEASANT as well as long. And getting back as well sucks. I just don't enjoy it anymore. Weekends don't mean much to me anymore, as it's so awkward getting places and then once I'm there, I know we have to come back again, which I hate. The feeling of dread gets stronger the closer the "return time" gets.

So here I am...sitting at home, not going out for dinner because of rain. If we were at our old place, or a new place in our chosen area, I'd be on my way to dinner right now, and HAPPY.

 

[Sheryn]

My money...it's awkward. Our home loan for our current place is through my mum. I pay no interest, my partner pays less interest than the lenders would charge...

So here I am...sitting at home, not going out for dinner because of rain. If we were at our old place, or a new place in our chosen area, I'd be on my way to dinner right now, and HAPPY.

If your Mum financed this place - did she choose it or did you & your partner?

Sounds like you need to think about what you want/need.

• Do you need to get your licence and buy a car.
• Do you need to sell this house and rent in an area of your choice.
• Can you rent this place out and you rent somewhere else.
• Do you need to start educating yourself with some more skills so you can increase you pay. eg bookeeping may be an option since you are in admin.
• Do you need to look at your house and see what is depressing you in the house.

Because what comes through in your posts is that you want to live in an area that you can't afford (on the Gold Coast or in Melbourne) and having grown up in a city with good transport you are struggling to live without good transport.

How old are you and your partner?

Also I can't remember the finer details but some people are affected by the seasons and have a lower mood in the darker months eg. winter & shorter days lack of sunshine etc. When did you move into yoru new place?



Regards
Sheryn

 

[weg]

"[*]Do you need to start educating yourself with some more skills so you can increase you pay. eg bookeeping may be an option since you are in admin."



Did you say you work part time? Moving to f/t work could mean a significant increase in income allowing you to borrow that bit more to move to an area with better transport.

You also state you enjoy work. If that's the case it could very well lift your mood. This way you also get out of the house where you seem to dwell on things that may not otherwise bother you as much.

Sheryn is right and highlights your many options. You just have to be less defeatist (?depressed) and more proactive in actually making positive changes.

 

[stevie_sloth]

Oh NO! I do NOT enjoy work!! I think I said in an earlier post that I do NOT enjoy my work at ALL! I can't stand it in fact!!!

Yes, I do work part time. There are hardly any full time jobs around here that do not entail working twice the hours I do now (thus being miserable for even MORE hours each day than I already am) for about $2,000 more a year than I earn now. That equates to about $40 a week extra. NOT worth TWICE the hours. Admin jobs around here pay BADLY and want way more experience and skills than I have.

And yes, I would be out of the house I dislike more, but being at home is the lesser of 2 evils to me. I MUCH prefer to be at home than at work. Leaving work is a RELIEF. It's just that it'd help make me happier if when I got HOME, I'd be actually happy.

I'm 32 (partner's 48) by the way.

We moved into our place just over 2 years ago now. We moved in on 19 September 2008. I think the seasonal affective disorder thing IS somewhat relevant to me. When it's grey I get very flat-mooded. Obviously in the last 2 years it's been both grey AND sunny and warm, so that's not it, BUT inside here, because of how the balcony roof / ceiling overhangs by a lot, no direct sun ever really gets inside. This is good in terms of keeping our place cool in Summer, but it really doesn't let a lot of natural light inside. Same thing with the bedroom. And because of the layout of the building, we only have windows / balcony doors at one end of the apartment (on one lounge room wall) and at the other opposite end of the apartment (master bedroom wall), so there's not much light really, AND one of our cats uses our bed as a toilet so we have to keep the bedroom door shut at ALL times, so we have basically ONE large window / balcony door for natural light. We have to have artificial lights on inside most of the time to see enough to read even when it's bright sunshine outside. I hate the darkness, but we can't do anything about it. We can't put skylights in cause we're on the ground floor...

 

[Peter Parker]

And yes, I would be out of the house I dislike more, but being at home is the lesser of 2 evils to me. I MUCH prefer to be at home than at work. Leaving work is a RELIEF. It's just that it'd help make me happier if when I got HOME, I'd be actually happy.

SS: If work or home are both bad, have you thought about spending as much spare time as possible doing stuff elsewhere - eg local volunteer gardening group, op shop, mens shed etc?

 

[stevie_sloth]

Hmm, well, yes, but I don't really want to do that sort of thing.

I like the things I can DO when I'm at home. I make my own music, listen to music, watch DVDs, TV, play with my 2 cats, play The Sims, and so on...it's just that I'd feel 10000 x happier doing all these things in a place I was HAPPY in!

Oh, and to answer an earlier question - yes, my partner and I did indeed choose our home ourselves. My mum just loaned us the money. We totally made the decision.