Now, be fair.... women are always like that. It's not our fault if you men don't work it out until too late
I've decided not to get married or have children .. Is that ok?
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my lids didnt stop wifey and I from doing stuff............
ta
rolf
ta
rolf
Same as Rolf - my biggest concern was that our traveling days would be over. But that's not the case - it might not be as adventurous (don't want to hitchhike with a 6 month old and 7 year old in the Kalahari) but it's just as fun.....and a little more luxurious.
Life's what you make it - whether kids are involved or not.
Cheers
Jamie
Life's what you make it - whether kids are involved or not.
Cheers
Jamie
And you know better...?
No. Didnt claim to. Not sure how you come up with that and your silly face?
I was making the obvious (though clearly not obvious enough for some) point that one can never know what their life would be like had they gone down a different path.
I wasn't maternal until the kids came along {even though I knew I wanted to have them 'one day'}, so figure if I didn't have children i would probably have been content without them - I would think the chances of regret would be greater if I was maternal and didn't have them.
Either way there is no way of knowing what it's like until you have them.
What i gained from my children, which i think is the case for most people, was the development of significant and profound bonds which obviously create a richer and more fulfilling life.
That's not saying it's not fulfilling without them, just that children usually add something extra.
I was happy with no children. I am happier with 2 children. Would have probably been very happy with 1 or 3 too.
No one really cares or judges anyone for not having them nowadays. It's only sad when you don't want them and have them anyway, or want them and don't - for whatever reason - have them.
Either way there is no way of knowing what it's like until you have them.
What i gained from my children, which i think is the case for most people, was the development of significant and profound bonds which obviously create a richer and more fulfilling life.
That's not saying it's not fulfilling without them, just that children usually add something extra.
I was happy with no children. I am happier with 2 children. Would have probably been very happy with 1 or 3 too.
No one really cares or judges anyone for not having them nowadays. It's only sad when you don't want them and have them anyway, or want them and don't - for whatever reason - have them.
My girlfriend has decided that I'm going to get married and have children.
Hahaha love this one, so true
I'd be curious how many of the no kids people are at the point of their lives where that can no longer make the choice .
We are as are many of our friends.
I wasn't enthusiastic about kids when I was younger , but now couldn't imagine life without them , though I am looking forward to them moving out of home ...
Our childless friends who can no longer make the choice , who have expressed a view to us , all regret their decision...... I don't know anyone in this group who proudly boast about their child free status though I know several people who were ambivalent about having kids who now have no regrets about having them .
Cliff
We are as are many of our friends.
I wasn't enthusiastic about kids when I was younger , but now couldn't imagine life without them , though I am looking forward to them moving out of home ...
Our childless friends who can no longer make the choice , who have expressed a view to us , all regret their decision...... I don't know anyone in this group who proudly boast about their child free status though I know several people who were ambivalent about having kids who now have no regrets about having them .
Cliff
Well over the age to have kids now and no regrets whatsoever for not having any.
You either want them or not, are maternal or not. Looks like we were chosen to be kidless.
That's life and how things roll. Not a conscious decision at all and we havent had kids for the lack of trying either...
You either want them or not, are maternal or not. Looks like we were chosen to be kidless.
That's life and how things roll. Not a conscious decision at all and we havent had kids for the lack of trying either...
Kids are mad fun. We take our kids traveling and also enjoy just hanging out.
I have a policy of never saying never...
I have a policy of never saying never...
They probably don't "proudly boast" about their child free status because they know the kind of crap they will most likely cop if they do.(maybe not from you personally, just in general)
My wife and I have decided not to have children and it is remarkable the amount of judgment we get whenever we mention it to someone who is not a close friend. It's like we have to justify our choice. The attitude seems to be the only possible reason for not having children is because you are a miserly scrooge who is so selfish you only want to spend your money on yourself and expect every one elses children to pay for your retirement in old age. Then there is the condescending attitude that we will surely change our minds one day or regret it for all eternity once we are past the age we could have them. So annoying.
To OP, I say if you are happy not having kids or getting married then that is all that matters but I would advise you to only discuss the matter with close friends who really know and understand you if you want to avoid a lot of unnecessary crap and attitude.
And yay, verily - did God invent golf, to allow men to get away from wives like that for a few hours of peace.
And then, sadly for the woman who thinks it's ok to be like that, they trade them in for another (often younger) version which is - for a short while - not like that.
I was never going to get married or have kids.
Now, happily married for almost 20 years, with 3 terrific kids.
We were going to only have one, then changed our mind and decided on two.
The third was an accident, and we are so glad she came along....just beautiful. Turned one year old just over a month ago.
I think there is an attitude about many life choices. Look at all the stories you see about single couples whining about people at cafes bringing their noisy children to the cafe. For every single or couple without kids having a whine about being selfish by *gasp* having the audacity to bring a young child to a cafe, couples with kids could have a whine about the selfishness of singles.
I have a single friend now probably close to or over 60 who constantly whines about having to pay a single contribution for her health fund, and we were paying for family cover (about double that for a single) for a family of five. She used more government money than we ever did, just on herself because she was too scabby to actually claim on her private health cover.
What pi$$es me off is that she would tell me how she had been a squeeky wheel, needling and/or sweet talking hospital admissions staff and doctors to push her to the front of the queue, which means she (with full private cover) is effectively pushing someone without private cover down the waiting list. I've seen her in action and cringed. I've witnessed hospital staff skip her up the list to shut her up. She then has surgery for "free" (which is her right, I know) under the public system because she doesn't want to pay the gap.
How can someone like that whine about my family paying double what she is paying for private cover, when she doesn't use it anyway unless she really cannot get it for free by pushing a more needy person down the list
.She also whines about having to pay a single supplement when travelling. All this whining when we couldn't afford to travel anywhere (due to having three young children).
So, make your decision, but be prepared to change your mind if you want to. It is nobody's business but your own, so tell anybody who questions your decision to mind their own bl00dy business.
It is different if the choice is made for you, and you have to choose between a relationship or a child. I have a friend whose sister met the love of her life. She was late 20s and desperate to have a baby, he was mid 30s and determined not to have children. He had a vasectomy in the early days of their relationship, which really upset her, but they are still together. This is something I reckon might push them apart later in life now she is well into her 40s, but staying with him and not having children was a decision she made (reluctantly). I reckon it will be something that is always there in the background, something to gnaw away at her, and raise its ugly head one day.
Now, be fair.... women are always like that. It's not our fault if you men don't work it out until too late
Damn that's a good comeback!!!!! Got no decent rebuttal On that one
here are my experiences:
me: have 2 kids, was indifferent about them, still indifferent about having kids, if I had to relive my life, would I have them, id still be indifferent, my life has changed for both positive and negative since ive had them (but so does everything in life)
I have friends who have and dont have kids through choice, none have said they regret any of their decisions, ive never met anyone who has said they regret having kids, because we live in a such a politically correct world, however, I know a few of these would be thinking that deep down, (my suspicions)
what I find unfair is that those who have kids think having kids is some mile high club. so when someone who chooses or states they dont want to have kids, they are looked down upon or given the usual "oh you'll change your mind" or "you probably arent mature enough" or "cos you are scared of hard work" I know for a fact that the majority of these people just have sour grapes and are jealous of the higher disposable income, more free time, more freedom, more healthy (usually), better cars/holidays, more options lifestyle their single counterparts have. Because there is not much comeback to the comment "oh you dont know what you are missing out on" which is true to a certain extent, because you never can have your kids and ask for a refund!!
me: have 2 kids, was indifferent about them, still indifferent about having kids, if I had to relive my life, would I have them, id still be indifferent, my life has changed for both positive and negative since ive had them (but so does everything in life)
I have friends who have and dont have kids through choice, none have said they regret any of their decisions, ive never met anyone who has said they regret having kids, because we live in a such a politically correct world, however, I know a few of these would be thinking that deep down, (my suspicions)
what I find unfair is that those who have kids think having kids is some mile high club. so when someone who chooses or states they dont want to have kids, they are looked down upon or given the usual "oh you'll change your mind" or "you probably arent mature enough" or "cos you are scared of hard work" I know for a fact that the majority of these people just have sour grapes and are jealous of the higher disposable income, more free time, more freedom, more healthy (usually), better cars/holidays, more options lifestyle their single counterparts have. Because there is not much comeback to the comment "oh you dont know what you are missing out on" which is true to a certain extent, because you never can have your kids and ask for a refund!!
here are my experiences:
me: have 2 kids, was indifferent about them, still about them, if I had to relive my life, would I have them, id still be indifferent, my life has changed for both positive and negative since ive had them (but so does everything in life)
Wow! That is an honest answer. Still indifferent about them?
I've had times when I know that life would have been very different, much easier if we hadn't had kids. I wasn't desperately clucky, but we got married (I was 26) and kids were just the next thing on the "list"
I have friends who have and dont have kids through choice, none have said they regret any of their decisions, ive never met anyone who has said they regret having kids, because we live in a such a politically correct world, however, I know a few of these would be thinking that deep down, (my suspicions)
Through the horrible teenage head butting years, there were times when we would look at each other and say "what have we got ourselves into?" but I'd never change how things have gone. We have three great boys, not perfect, but then neither are we. They are good young men who don't always agree with us, don't always do things how we would do them, but who wants little clones?
what I find unfair is that those who have kids think having kids is some mile high club.
I reckon anybody who thinks those with kids have some attitude problem have an attitude problem themselves, and just need to be ignored. Let them think what they like.
agree, but its like those people , and yes i hear it all the time (not me of course, since I've had 2) that say garbage like "when are you going to have your 2nd one", "dont you want your little one to have a brother or sister", "its normal to have two", "stop being so selfish and have another one"
You dont hear me or anyone saying "oh you are so selfish for bringing a child into this world when there are a billion of them starving in africa",
its almost like there is soemthign wrong with you if you dont have another one, if I had my time again id be saying "why?!?!?!!?" or "why do I have to have a second one"
we wanted two kids anyway, but I hate it when people think they are better then us through something as normal as having kids!!!! break the 100m sprinting world record, and then feel free to look down on me
