JOKE: The Successful Man & Woman
- Thread starter Rixter
- Start date
Hmmm,
there have been quite a few couples in various star treks:
Riker and Troi (as mentioned), then Worf and Troi
Worf and Dax (After Troi)
B'Elanna and Parish
Miles and Keiko O'Brien (they had a married quarters on DS9 and had 2 kids)
Kes and Neelix
Yar and Data
Picard and Crusher
Kira Nerys and Odo...
need I go on??
Seems they did have a little time for extracurricular entertainment...
asy
Also, um, how DID Naomi Wildman get on board Voyager??
there have been quite a few couples in various star treks:
Riker and Troi (as mentioned), then Worf and Troi
Worf and Dax (After Troi)
B'Elanna and Parish
Miles and Keiko O'Brien (they had a married quarters on DS9 and had 2 kids)
Kes and Neelix
Yar and Data
Picard and Crusher
Kira Nerys and Odo...
need I go on??
Seems they did have a little time for extracurricular entertainment...
asy
Also, um, how DID Naomi Wildman get on board Voyager??
I have to admit I love this song:
Star Trekking
Chorus: Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Only going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse.
Lt. Uhura, report!
Uhura: There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, [again].
Analysis!, Mister Spock!
Spock: It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
Uhura: There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, again.
Chorus: Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Only going forward, still can't find reverse.
Medical update, Doctor McCoy
McCoy: It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim, Dead.
Spock:It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
Uhura: There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, Jim!
Starship Captain, James T. Kirk
Kirk: Ha-ha! We come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill,
shoot to kill.
We come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill, men.
McCoy: It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim, Dead.
Spock:Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
Uhura: There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
scrape 'em off, Jim.
Chorus: Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Only going forward, and things are getting worse!
Engine room, Mister Scott
Scotty: Ye canna change the laws of physics,
laws of physics,
laws of physics!
Ye canna change the laws of physics,
laws of physics, Jim!
Kirk: Oh, we come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill,
shoot to kill!
We come in peace, shoot to kill,
Scotty, beam me up!
McCoy: It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim!
Dead, Jim!
Dead, Jim!
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim!
Dead, Jim, Dead!
Spock: Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
Uhura: There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, aaagain!
Scotty: Ye canna change the script, Jim! Och, the engines
McCoy: It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim!
Kirk: Bridge to engine room, warp factor nine!
Scotty: Ach! If I give 'er any more she'll blow [, Captain]!
<< boom >>
Na..na..na..na..na..na..na..na..na
Chorus: Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Only going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse!
Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Only going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse.
Isn't it great!!
Also, before anyone sends psychiatric assistance no, I didn't know it by heart, I got it from here
Sing it LOUD!!!
asy
Star Trekking
Chorus: Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Only going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse.
Lt. Uhura, report!
Uhura: There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, [again].
Analysis!, Mister Spock!
Spock: It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
Uhura: There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, again.
Chorus: Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Only going forward, still can't find reverse.
Medical update, Doctor McCoy
McCoy: It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim, Dead.
Spock:It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
Uhura: There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, Jim!
Starship Captain, James T. Kirk
Kirk: Ha-ha! We come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill,
shoot to kill.
We come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill, men.
McCoy: It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim, Dead.
Spock:Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
Uhura: There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
scrape 'em off, Jim.
Chorus: Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Only going forward, and things are getting worse!
Engine room, Mister Scott
Scotty: Ye canna change the laws of physics,
laws of physics,
laws of physics!
Ye canna change the laws of physics,
laws of physics, Jim!
Kirk: Oh, we come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill,
shoot to kill!
We come in peace, shoot to kill,
Scotty, beam me up!
McCoy: It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim!
Dead, Jim!
Dead, Jim!
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim!
Dead, Jim, Dead!
Spock: Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
Uhura: There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, aaagain!
Scotty: Ye canna change the script, Jim! Och, the engines
McCoy: It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim!
Kirk: Bridge to engine room, warp factor nine!
Scotty: Ach! If I give 'er any more she'll blow [, Captain]!
<< boom >>
Na..na..na..na..na..na..na..na..na
Chorus: Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Only going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse!
Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Only going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse.
Isn't it great!!
Also, before anyone sends psychiatric assistance
no, I didn't know it by heart, I got it from here Sing it LOUD!!!
asy
Political correctness
As comment has been made in this thread about feminism and being a woman, I thought this was appropriate
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment - If you keep quiet it's male indifference
If you cry, you are a wimp - If you don't you're an insensitive beast
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain - If you don't you're a slob
If you buy her flowers, you're after something - If you don't you're thoughtless and uncaring
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her - If you don't work hard enough, you're a good for nothing
If you are proud of your achievements you're full of yourself - If you're not then you're not ambitious
As comment has been made in this thread about feminism and being a woman, I thought this was appropriate
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment - If you keep quiet it's male indifference
If you cry, you are a wimp - If you don't you're an insensitive beast
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain - If you don't you're a slob
If you buy her flowers, you're after something - If you don't you're thoughtless and uncaring
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her - If you don't work hard enough, you're a good for nothing
If you are proud of your achievements you're full of yourself - If you're not then you're not ambitious
You brought out the worst in me geoff...
If a family picture is on his desk
He's a solid, responsible family man
If a family picture is on her desk
Her family comes before her career
If his desk is all cluttered
He's obviously a hard worker and busy man
If her desk is cluttered
She's obviously a disorganized scatterbrain
If he is talking with his co-workers
He must be discussing the latest policies
If she is talking with her co-workers
She must be gossiping
If he's not at his desk
He must be in the meeting
If she's not at her desk
She must be in the ladies' room
If he's not in the office
He's meeting customers
If she's not in the office
She must be out shopping
If he's having lunch with the boss
He's on the way up
If she's having lunch with the boss
They must be having an affair
If the boss criticized him
He'll improve his performance
If the boss criticized her
She'll cry
If he's getting married
He'll be more settled and mature
If she's getting married
She'll get pregnant and leave
If his wife is having a baby
He'll need a raise
If she's having a baby
She'll cost the company money in maternity benefits
If he's going on a business trip
It's good for his career
If she's going on a business trip
What will her husband say ?
If he's looking for a better job
He knows how to recognize a good opportunity
If she's leaving for a better job
Women are not dependable
If he works a lot of overtime
He's a dedicated employee who will probably be promoted
If she works a lot of overtime
She's shirking her family responsibilities
If he seeks additional training
He's seeking to upgrade his skills
If she wants additional training
She wasn't capable of the job in the first place
If he dresses neatly and in style
He's concerned with the company image
If she dresses stylishly
She's a slave to fashion and spends too much on clothes
If he sometimes flirts
He's engaging in some harmless office banter
If she sometime flirts
She's a slut
If a family picture is on his desk
He's a solid, responsible family man
If a family picture is on her desk
Her family comes before her career
If his desk is all cluttered
He's obviously a hard worker and busy man
If her desk is cluttered
She's obviously a disorganized scatterbrain
If he is talking with his co-workers
He must be discussing the latest policies
If she is talking with her co-workers
She must be gossiping
If he's not at his desk
He must be in the meeting
If she's not at her desk
She must be in the ladies' room
If he's not in the office
He's meeting customers
If she's not in the office
She must be out shopping
If he's having lunch with the boss
He's on the way up
If she's having lunch with the boss
They must be having an affair
If the boss criticized him
He'll improve his performance
If the boss criticized her
She'll cry
If he's getting married
He'll be more settled and mature
If she's getting married
She'll get pregnant and leave
If his wife is having a baby
He'll need a raise
If she's having a baby
She'll cost the company money in maternity benefits
If he's going on a business trip
It's good for his career
If she's going on a business trip
What will her husband say ?
If he's looking for a better job
He knows how to recognize a good opportunity
If she's leaving for a better job
Women are not dependable
If he works a lot of overtime
He's a dedicated employee who will probably be promoted
If she works a lot of overtime
She's shirking her family responsibilities
If he seeks additional training
He's seeking to upgrade his skills
If she wants additional training
She wasn't capable of the job in the first place
If he dresses neatly and in style
He's concerned with the company image
If she dresses stylishly
She's a slave to fashion and spends too much on clothes
If he sometimes flirts
He's engaging in some harmless office banter
If she sometime flirts
She's a slut
