laws regarding furniture that a tenant or ex left to pick up later
- Thread starter jasonp3
- Start date
There is no mention of her defaulting or demands for payment, so you have to assume she has been paying them up to this point.
Which makes me think she must have had some employment to have been able to find the $1000 per month in the first place.
I wonder if Jason is Francine/jane1111, and the mother of this boy??
If so, your well documented paralysing fear of having partners laying claim to your estate and being taken advantage of makes me think you could be adversly affecting your sons perspective on the true situation.
Regardless, is he trying to dump her because you want him to?
Parents have a way of transferring these kinds of anxieties on to their children, which only serve to erode the confidence of the children when it comes to making rational and mature decisions.
Not to mention he could be making decisions based on what might alleviate your anxiety.
If this is the case, then the g/friend probably doesn't stand a chance of successfully working through things, even if she tries because the son is on high danger alert.
If I'm correct, step back and let him grow up.
Which makes me think she must have had some employment to have been able to find the $1000 per month in the first place.
I wonder if Jason is Francine/jane1111, and the mother of this boy??
If so, your well documented paralysing fear of having partners laying claim to your estate and being taken advantage of makes me think you could be adversly affecting your sons perspective on the true situation.
Regardless, is he trying to dump her because you want him to?
Parents have a way of transferring these kinds of anxieties on to their children, which only serve to erode the confidence of the children when it comes to making rational and mature decisions.
Not to mention he could be making decisions based on what might alleviate your anxiety.
If this is the case, then the g/friend probably doesn't stand a chance of successfully working through things, even if she tries because the son is on high danger alert.
If I'm correct, step back and let him grow up.
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Yes I was also thinking there was no "friend" here.
I think he acquired an STD from her (sexually transmitted debt).
Question for Terry and then for Nemo30 please.
Terry, at what point did it become defacto if they were only friends with occasional benefits and yes carelessly caused a careless pregnancy.
At the careless pregnancy
or when he tried to see if they could live together and make it work which was only the last 2 or 3 months
If he tries again to make it work under which situations will he be responsible for her debt
or will he lose if she declares bankruptcy.
Nemo30 You say it was tough the first year and then it worked out in the long term. can you tell me more. WERe you a couple, did you have 35000 debt, was communication peaceful. was living conditions too cramped, were you able to work in the pregnancy and after the baby was born? I"d love to hear more of how it worked out long term as he wanted to see if it could work and roll with the punches, but there just seemed too many punches and too little effort on her part till now.
Each situation is different with different factors. He wanted to see if they could make it work, and he kept trying to be positive in the many challenges, but communication, finances, her efforts, and camped living conditions are all difficult.
He has early on sought out advice and professional help re the best ways to improve any issues, finances, communication. Professionals have said early on that she must at least cover her debts and that they should live apart that its not a good relationship, its not working, but she wouldnt leave. He was wanting very much to resolve anything and communicate peacefully, budget, work with a professional, but he didnt find her willing, working, or communicating in a healthy or calm way.
i 'll tell him to suggest she look at bankruptcy or free counselling places.thank you ausprop and wesminister.
He has found information about many others struggling with the difficult decisions around girlfriends, boyfriends with debt. It seems many find it hard to know how much can be solved, when to keep trying, when its just too much, and each situation is different.
Terry, at what point did it become defacto if they were only friends with occasional benefits and yes carelessly caused a careless pregnancy.
At the careless pregnancy
or when he tried to see if they could live together and make it work which was only the last 2 or 3 months
If he tries again to make it work under which situations will he be responsible for her debt
or will he lose if she declares bankruptcy.
Nemo30 You say it was tough the first year and then it worked out in the long term. can you tell me more. WERe you a couple, did you have 35000 debt, was communication peaceful. was living conditions too cramped, were you able to work in the pregnancy and after the baby was born? I"d love to hear more of how it worked out long term as he wanted to see if it could work and roll with the punches, but there just seemed too many punches and too little effort on her part till now.
Each situation is different with different factors. He wanted to see if they could make it work, and he kept trying to be positive in the many challenges, but communication, finances, her efforts, and camped living conditions are all difficult.
He has early on sought out advice and professional help re the best ways to improve any issues, finances, communication. Professionals have said early on that she must at least cover her debts and that they should live apart that its not a good relationship, its not working, but she wouldnt leave. He was wanting very much to resolve anything and communicate peacefully, budget, work with a professional, but he didnt find her willing, working, or communicating in a healthy or calm way.
i 'll tell him to suggest she look at bankruptcy or free counselling places.thank you ausprop and wesminister.
He has found information about many others struggling with the difficult decisions around girlfriends, boyfriends with debt. It seems many find it hard to know how much can be solved, when to keep trying, when its just too much, and each situation is different.
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Jason
Can you please stop the charade? This is about you, not some friend. You have also admitted that this woman is your partner. You admit it here:
Stop trying to weazle out of your responsibilities. Man up, and admit you made a mistake & move forward without trying to put your partner (or ex-partner) down. This is the mother of your child. If you did not want a relationship or a child with this woman, you should have kept it in your pants. If you DID want a relationship & this has now gone sour, then do the right thing by her.
So...what all this mumbo jumbo comes down to is that you would be happy for her to stay if centrelink would pay her, so she can pay her debts without involving you? Yet you admit to having a job in which your partner is not entitled to any payments.
That's not the way it works buddy. You have a partner living with you in a defacto relationship, then you have taken on that partner warts & all. If your income is large enough that she doesn't get any funds, what right do you have to try and manipulate the situation to get welfare.
Sheesh!
Can you please stop the charade? This is about you, not some friend. You have also admitted that this woman is your partner. You admit it here:
jasonp3 said:
Stop trying to weazle out of your responsibilities. Man up, and admit you made a mistake & move forward without trying to put your partner (or ex-partner) down. This is the mother of your child. If you did not want a relationship or a child with this woman, you should have kept it in your pants. If you DID want a relationship & this has now gone sour, then do the right thing by her.
Umm.....HELLO!!! It became defacto when you started living together and having a sexual relationship. It's not rocket science here.
So...what all this mumbo jumbo comes down to is that you would be happy for her to stay if centrelink would pay her, so she can pay her debts without involving you? Yet you admit to having a job in which your partner is not entitled to any payments.
That's not the way it works buddy. You have a partner living with you in a defacto relationship, then you have taken on that partner warts & all. If your income is large enough that she doesn't get any funds, what right do you have to try and manipulate the situation to get welfare.
Sheesh!
Here we go again....people trying to weasel out of paying their debt.
Can't people take any responsibility anymore?
It appears the subject of the thread has been dropped entirely, even by the original poster.
Doesn't anyone want to discuss the furniture ??
...I think we scare them away
this is a value judgement whioch should play no part in your financial planning. If the person can make more profit by declaring bankrupcty they should act as a rational profit focussed entity and take such action. Don't worry about citibank or whoever it is - their rates are loaded to cover such risk and they are just profit maximising entities themselves... they are big boys that knew the risks when they made the loans
It appears the subject of the thread has been dropped entirely, even by the original poster.
Doesn't anyone want to discuss the furniture ??
we have to recolve the other issues first - I said chuck it, but we first need to know if the OP is the father and it would thus mean he is pretty much throwing out his own stuff? Gumtree would be another good option - sell it off for cash
It is not always citibank or whoever who lose.
We all pay when people milk the system.
That is beside the point.
If you make an agreement to pay, you pay.
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Jason, are you really the mother of the man who has got the lady pregnant?
Although you claim to be a 'friend' you are certainly coming across like an over-protective mother of a golden-haired-boy who you refuse to accept is just as irresponsible as you claim his girlfriend to be.
If so, try staying out of it - you'll only make matters worse.
I would love to hear the pregnant lady's side of the story. I already feel sorry for her...
Although you claim to be a 'friend' you are certainly coming across like an over-protective mother of a golden-haired-boy who you refuse to accept is just as irresponsible as you claim his girlfriend to be.
If so, try staying out of it - you'll only make matters worse.
I would love to hear the pregnant lady's side of the story. I already feel sorry for her...
Even so I think the context provided in this thread would throw the defacto status into question. Hardly assessed by Centrelink as a couple:
Use of the word partner in the previous post was probably just the easiest way of putting it without the whole story which has now come out.
Having a kid together surely brings defacto status
Doesn't anyone want to discuss the furniture ??
I think what happened here was people thought they were abandoned goods, but realized later the furniture WAS with it's rightful owner - hence why they thought it was important to concentrate on moving the woman out, so they would then be able to move the furniture
.At no stage did people forget about the furniture.
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it's fine to make a commercially irrational decision so long as you realise what you are doing and it's your own money/efforts at stake. Bankruptcy and liquidation are part of the healthy workings of capitalist society.
even though we are hearing only one side of the story, its pretty obvious that even if he has tried to paint the best story to make him look the victim, he still comes out looking pretty stupid,
you hooked up with a complete loser, didnt use protection,
you are continually getting used, you havent learnt your lesson in the past, and looks like this time is no different,
force a DNA test, but soemthing tells me you are pretty sure its yours
throw her crap out, pay the minimum possible child support, kick her out, find a house mate, BECAUSE I promise you that she will be coming at you for more money every step of the way saying "Poor me" so you might as well pay get rent from a paying tenant, because trust me "no amount will ever be enough"
you hooked up with a complete loser, didnt use protection,
you are continually getting used, you havent learnt your lesson in the past, and looks like this time is no different,
force a DNA test, but soemthing tells me you are pretty sure its yours
throw her crap out, pay the minimum possible child support, kick her out, find a house mate, BECAUSE I promise you that she will be coming at you for more money every step of the way saying "Poor me" so you might as well pay get rent from a paying tenant, because trust me "no amount will ever be enough"
