Money Irresponsibility - Needs - Wants

Just need to vent somewhere

Brother bought another toy. This time an Ipad. He and his family are on a low income and keep wasting money on toys all the time. No savings whatsoever!

I worry about him. I am trying not to judge as I myself had some problems for a few months there financially. I'm back on track keeping a constant fortnightly eye tracking my balances and mostly only spending money on my needs not wants because I know I need my buffer for upcoming and unexpected expenses.

I wish brother would grow up financially. I dont know what else they spent their money on whilst on holiday but I did hear they bought there 2 year old another pair of addidas shoes. He already has plenty of those shoes why does he need another pair!?

It gets to me sometimes. He's renting atm. I guess once they get a mortgage they will have to change their ways. I wish they hadn't bought that ipad to dinner the other night because my sister apparantly went on and on about it to mum. I wasn't there when she did though. She is equally upset about them too.

I was talking to my brother in law about myself possibly having to buy a new computer because mine is sooooo so slow now and often turns itself off. Takes forever to load etc etc. He says you can get a decent one at around $800. I wont buy again until this one dies though because it is doing its job albeit slowly. When it dies I will buy again. Same goes with a digital tv. I cant bring myself to buy another tv because my analogue tvs are working perfectly. I need my buffer for more important things. I do though save up every now and then to buy a want. Like when i had my birthday i bought a new ipod shuffle. My old one died. Its not that I'm struggling badly with the amount of savings I just like to make sure i have that SANF. Currently i'm doing a lot better with around $6 K buffer. I have stayed even since July and thats even after paying rates, water bills. I have a huge RCD bill to pay soon. I'll be getting a higher pay soon at work and hopefully I'll win that 2nd casual job.

wow i didn't mean to write so much and the footy is about to start. So i have to go. i can see my brother who is in his early 40's in 30 years time living in a small house still mortgaged to the eyeballs and on a pension still having to work full time in his 70's. I can see myself comfortably retired in 30 years time when I am 70 living in my fully paid off PPOR on an income of $60 K pa (todays money) after expenses.

You know what happens when his washing machine breaks down or some other expense like the car or something. Guess who he goes running to... yep mum and dad arrggh. Stop buying all that crap and build up your emergency buffer so that you can pay for these expenses yourself. Not get your parents to pay for it. :( Hoping they can turn the corner like I have done recently.
IPads are good.
My wife bought one, and I'm not into the latest technology or gadgets at all, but everybody should have one of these, they're awesome.
Your brother will enjoy it so why not let him do what he wants?
i think we all have different values, and I try not to judge how others in my family are living their lives financially. I have a big family.. and they range from those who buy every latest gadget and those who never buy anything unless absolutely necessary. In the end, how they choose to live is their choice, and they experience the consequences of it. I dont want to know the ins and outs of their financial situation, and I dont want them to know mine.

If your parents are always bailing them out, its a bit different... they might need to put in place some loan structures so they dont get taken down as well.

You do sound a little like a reformed smoker! ;) Its easy when you have "discovered" something to be more critical of the people around you who havent yet discovered that, and impatient for them to learn the truth... just think about how long it took you to work out that you needed to be more careful in how you spent money, and hope that your brother can learn from your experience
Your brother is an adult so he's ultimately responsible for the decisions (good or bad) that he makes. Unfortunately there's not much you can do so it's best to let him see it for himself. Trying to help people is a thankless job especially if it involves family.
Interesting article in today's local paper today ... about how in the USA/UK (and I guess Australia) the belief that the ability to buy "toys" equates to "success" - whereas in many other European countries "happiness" equates to "success".

This was shown by interviews with poverty level UK parents saying that they buy their kids "stuff" because it makes them feel they have achieved - and that they feel depressed if they can't afford "yet another" game console - and that it wasn't their "job" to play with their kids.

Whereas kids in other countries, such as France, Sweden etc, say that getting outside and playing with family and friends are their happiest moments.

Perhaps he feels to need to feel successful because it sounds like he's not real good at it in the rest of this life.

You can't change him ... some things my siblings do makes me scratch my head, and have a moment of disbelief, but they make their own choices and live their own lives.
The problem is not your brother spending, it's your mum bailing him out, when she's not happy doing so. She's reinforcing this behaviour.

She only needs to say no a couple of times, and it's problem solved.
I know how you feel, Alex P. Although, as others have stated, it's your brother's life and he is free to make his own decisions/mistakes - it's hard not to (quietly atleast) get your 'back up' when they start crying poor mouth and putting their hand out to parents. I know a couple who, whilst on very good salaries, have lived in heavily subsidised rental housing (through their work) for well over 30 years and wasted every cent they earnt on God knows what - they have only just bought their first house (with a hefty hand-out from their work, FHB grant, etc) and the mortgage is big (so is the house by the way). Guess who are now feeling very sorry for themselves and complaining that "it's so much harder for us due to houses being much more expensive now'. Hmmmm...:mad:.

I just bite my tongue. One day I may just bleed to death.
I need an iphone. I don't want one, I need one. But when you *need* one its tax deductable ;)

I do feel like you with respect to cars though. Ours works just fine, but is too small, and has been too small since the baby went into a front-facing car seat earlier this year. I don't want to buy another car that we can afford (ie, $1000-2000 range) just because its bigger, I'd rather get one that is bigger and as good as our current one - preferably better, considering the poor car is starting to get a bit ragged around the edges. So the plan is as soon as we're rid of the second mortgage to start saving up the $15-20k we'd probably end up spending on a new car.

The only family members we have that we *need* a bigger car to visit aren't speaking to us at the moment so honestly, we'll survive quite a few years yet with our current car. Will save us a fortune not upgrading the thing until we need to. And if they decide to start speaking to us in the meantime, well they can just come visit *us*. Pigs might fly, too.
I LOL'd at the tags Alex attached to her thread. "ipad=epic failure" haha.

It can be frustrating seeing others fritter their money away. I have been through quite a few rentals lately, or friends' houses, and it's interesting to note that the size of their plasma TV seems to be inversely proportional to their net wealth.

I reckon one needs the odd doodad once in a while though to have a balanced life. We just bought a 32" full HD LED tv for $300. Sure we had a perfectly functional CRT one... but hubby and I reckoned we had earned it and $300 wasn't too much in the grand scheme of things. I guess it is all about balance though.
Each to their own. If blowing what little cash they have on an iPad makes them happy and isn't causing any problems for others then so be it.

For the record, iPad's are a wonderful thing :)


This message has been deleted by Dazz. Reason: Highly Inappropriate - stick to the facts please

hey why did you delete it! twas a funny one!
I dont understand how someone on a low income, no house, no investments (i assume) would even bother trying to look good to everyone or feel the need to.

As you said alex, pc for $800, hell, I use my pc for internet, emails, work stuff, which requires no graphics or multimedia, so I ended up buying a brand spanking new pc with NO graphics card, and it cost me a grand total of $440,

For $800 I could get two!, said PC is now 4 years old and still works perfectly.

I have a friend who is mid 40s, recently filed for bankruptcy and has spent more money on a graphics card then I spent on 2 pcs. which I am in utter disbelief

As for an ipad, yes, they are cool, yes they are pretty, but I find 80% of people who have one, have really no idea what to use it for.

I would struggle to work out what to use it for that my current laptop cant do other then boot up super quick. Id also feel really stupid having 2 working devices that do the same thing sitting next to eachtoher. If the ipad was $50, then maybe, but $800 is close to one persons weekly median salary

As for decisions, he isnt 18, he is in his 40s (correct me if Im wrong), if he wants to waste his hard earned $$$, then let him, it will be you in 10 years time, 10 times better off, and he'll wonder wtf you did to get so lucky

You can try and teach them once, and its up to them to accept your advice or not

I gave up on this a few years ago, friends, adult children, family............... it is their life and their choice, it is also their right, so let them go on their merry way :confused:

Alex, have you tried to clean your PC up, remove the adds, defrag etc ? If not done regularly that can make a huge speed difference and save you buying another one.