Moral dilemma

Wow - when I think of what I got up to at the same age ... tried smoking until I'd get the head spins because it was "cool" but never really took to it - tried drinking and sometimes binged until I'd fart in public (still drink but in moderation) - used to make out in the back of a mini minor (yep it is possible) ...

Come on guys - what did you get up to at the same age and still turned out normally sane and responsible adults.

We were just lucky there were no camera phones or internet in our day.

Personally I wouldn't tell - parents know a lot more than they let on (mints do not cover ciggie smell) and the teens are a period of exploring and experimenting - although I would keep a quiet eye on how she's going.
 
lizzie said:
Personally I wouldn't tell - parents know a lot more than they let on (mints do not cover ciggie smell)
Click to expand...

Mints do not cover it.... because the smell of ciggies is also on your fingers.
Some hand sanitizer + deodorant works wonders at hiding the smell :D
 
I'm concerned that she is a "perfect student" and she is now showing outward signs of stress. In that little chat to Dad I would be coming from the angle that it might be time to drop one or two of her extra-curricula activities.
 
I don't think she is showing outward signs of stress, I think she is being a teenager.
Lizzie - I am with you - Drinking and smoking from about 13 (my memory has me doing this much more than I probably did). In my day it was 2 litres of Bulmers cider shared amongst 3-4 in the local graveyard - classy huh

My mum caught my best mate smoking so she shoved the lit cigarette in her pocket. Mum said nothing, just kept her talking as her pocket smouldered :D

Would I tell? Nah - she is probably so worried that you have already told that if she is going to stop she will have. If she isnt, no amount of telling parents etc will make a teenager change their ways, and in many cases could make it worse
 
I find this thread a bit mystifying. What do people think is going to happen when her parents find out? That she will be locked in her room until she is 21?

The op should pick up the phone to his friend and tell him. Don't give advice, don't for God's sake suggest she might be under stress or have too many activities on - you don't know that! Just tell her parents and let them deal with it. Based on everything else you have said about this young girl they seem to be excellent parents. Let them do their job.

I know lots of us have found memories of the stuff we got up to when we were that age, but really guys, does anyone think it is a good idea for a kid (or anyone!) to be drinking and smoking at 11 am?

What is the point in not telling? To protect this girl from her loving and responsible parents? To seem cool in her eyes???
 
MaggieMcT said:
I find this thread a bit mystifying. What do people think is going to happen when her parents find out? That she will be locked in her room until she is 21?

The op should pick up the phone to his friend and tell him. Don't give advice, don't for God's sake suggest she might be under stress or have too many activities on - you don't know that! Just tell her parents and let them deal with it. Based on everything else you have said about this young girl they seem to be excellent parents. Let them do their job.

I know lots of us have found memories of the stuff we got up to when we were that age, but really guys, does anyone think it is a good idea for a kid (or anyone!) to be drinking and smoking at 11 am?

What is the point in not telling? To protect this girl from her loving and responsible parents? To seem cool in her eyes???
Click to expand...

Maggie
A woman of reason, this is exactly my thoughts.
 
Smoking ....OK, drinking....OK, let's just hope she doesn't get busted eating KFC. That would be absolutely dreadful. I could then really feel for the parents.
 
Angel said:
I'm concerned that she is a "perfect student" and she is now showing outward signs of stress. In that little chat to Dad I would be coming from the angle that it might be time to drop one or two of her extra-curricula activities.
Click to expand...

Nowhere in my comment did it state that the OP should tell the father word for word what I wrote here. I was relaying my perspective of another possible reason why the girl is exhibiting those behaviours. I work with stressed out teenagers all the time, I do know what some of their triggers are. I'm also admitting to being imperfect.

I know about tactfully relating information. I had forgotten about quantum leaps in other people's interpretation of written communication, though.
 
Hmmm... Harm minimisation vs. the dignity of risk... Vs. learning you wanna play you'll have to pay- Dob her in, getting busted will help develop the ability to think/fib/argue/rationalise/bolt under pressure- she may even learn something. YP will actually respect an adult who is consistent and honest- even if its hardline and gets them in trouble...
 
I'm with Lizzie. Just forget about it.

In the worst case you could have a falling out with your mate if he doesn't believe you? It is his darling perfect daughter remember?


See ya's.
 
I said it before, I will say it again. As lizzie said just forget it.
I am speaking from a first hand experience. Don't go moral policing around. No biggie if she tried those. She has seen you, and that should be a deterrent enough!
 
lizzie said:
Hey - I was 16 when all of the above took place. I'm sure you can recall being 16 too ...
Click to expand...

Sure can Lizzy.

I was at boarding school studying Chemistry, Physics, Biology, Maths 2, HPE and English.

I was also racing Triathlon and running at a state/national level, so definitely not smoking and drinking ever. I did however indulge in some KFC, so somewhat rebellious.

Im probably where I am today because of my teenage years. Im guessing things could have been a lot different.


pinkboy
 
STOP PRESS!​
EARTH, July 21
A 16 year old girl, known to the OP in this thread, has been spotted in a public place at 11:00 am smoking [presumably a cigarette, but we don't know for sure] and drinking alcohol.

In other breaking news, the Earth is spherical.
 
"Would you tell your best friend if you were in the same situation?"

Well if it was my best friend and one of his daughters I would have said something to the daughter when I spotted her smoking and drinking in the park.

Maybe something like. "Caught ya" and taken it from there.
 
MarkB said:
STOP PRESS!​
EARTH, July 21
A 16 year old girl, known to the OP in this thread, has been spotted in a public place at 11:00 am smoking [presumably a cigarette, but we don't know for sure] and drinking alcohol.

In other breaking news, the Earth is spherical.
Click to expand...

Man, you have some issues.................
I don't know whether to laugh or feel sorry you
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Trippy
Whats the creepiest thing your young child has said to you
Replies
4
Views
1K
Aaron Sice
Aaron Sice
T
is it better to have been poor at one stage in your life?
2 3
Replies
50
Views
24K
Deltaberry
D
I
Kids in Church
Replies
0
Views
655
investor2009
I
The Y-man
The Micheal_X story
Replies
1
Views
6K
The Y-man
The Y-man
Michael_X
My Story 10+ Properties by 30 yo
8 9 10
Replies
188
Views
51K
Michael_X
Michael_X
Back
Top