My friends in massive credit card debt

[skater]

Qaz, my friend, I know you acted with good faith, and maybe your friend did at the beginning, but I think you will find that the tables have turned. To the masses us Landlords are "rich", (regardless of whether we actually are) which is probably why he targeted you in the first place.

He may have genuinely thought he could pay you back, but I think you will find that his priorities have changed. Like someone else mentioned, the most important thing in his mind right now will be the upcoming wedding. How much are they spending on the wedding? How is that being paid for? Does his fiance work? Is she aware that your friend owes you this money? What is her interity like?

Weddings will often attract a huge debt, and as that will most probably be put on the CC or maybe even a personal loan, then this will be first to be paid back.

Friendships also sometimes change after a marriage. For example, Hubby's best friend used to live nearby. After we got married, he moved to Wollongong (from Sydney) because I had purchased and was living in a house there. He still saw his best friend, but it was infrequently as we lived a fair distance apart.

Then several years later, his friend also married. We saw him even less by this time, as he now had another person who was his priority. We moved to Sydney (not to be closer to this friend) and are now living about 30min drive from where the friend and his wife live. We see this friend, maybe once a year if we are lucky.

Both couples have moved on, we both have other friends that we see regularly, and there are times that either us or them have suggested meeting up, but because we both have things happening in our lives, it is not possible.

I think you should just move on, painful as it may be, leaving your $22k as an expensive wedding gift.

 

[kissfan]

He will be reading this thread.

If that's the case.....

To the mate of qaz;

Don't be a scumbag and pay back the full amount as quick as you can. If qaz was good (or silly) enough to help you out of a sticky situation, you can be just as good a friend by paying back on time.

DO THE RIGHT THING.

Regards
Marty

 

[skater]

If that's the case.....

To the mate of qaz;

Don't be a scumbag and pay back the full amount as quick as you can. If qaz was good (or silly) enough to help you out of a sticky situation, you can be just as good a friend by paying back on time.

DO THE RIGHT THING.

Regards
Marty

Yes, prove us all wrong. DO THE RIGHT THING! And do it as quick as possible. On your income level this should take only a small time frame.

 

[vincenzo]

Sorry to say Qaz, but it seems like your so called friend is just a total scumbag, that likes to use and abuse you. You seem like way too good of a person to associate with vermin like that. Any girl that wants to marry someone like that is just as bad.

What's next Qaz? You going to start a fund raising mission? While the parasite continues to blow money on holidays, restaurants, nightclubs, cars, clothes, or whatever else the thief decides to waste it on?

Yes, that leech is not a friend at all, but a thief - the worst kind of thief.

Being robbed by a stranger is one thing, but from someone close to you? That's a whole new low.
To the abuser, at least put something down on paper, prove that you aren't a total waste of life, at least pretend that you care about Qaz.
Put something down on paper.
I ................. owe Qaz ............ $22 000 + 10% pa interest from x/x/xx date.

You can't even do that, can you? You useless good for nothing waste of space.

 

[weg]

The borrower...

Thinks
'If he can afford to lend, he can't be that poor'
'He doesn't need the money in any hurry'
'Why does he need the money, I need it more'
'If I avoid him, he can't remind me of the money'
'He's not such a great friend, all he cares about is his money'

Why has he, on such a high income not already started paying some money back?

Why did he borrow this money to save himself interest, and cost you?

These are Q. you need to ask yourself.

If this is a solid friendship ask him to reinstate that debt with the bank and get him to give you the money back in full (assuming he can borrow further and does earn this income). Tell him you need your money.

It's you doing all the giving to someone that doesn't desperately require it, while he's happily taking because of your good nature.

As others have said, only be prepared to borrow what you are happy to give away.

 

[Monopoly]

Hey Qaz,

My goodness it has been such a long time and I'm sorry to read a post from you only to learn of such woes. I must say although I am disappointed I'm not surprised as I've always thought you to be a caring person; sadly (it seems) too caring for your own good!!

My advice to you, and your friend would be for you both to work out some kind of arrangement where he can pay you back the 22K, and the remaining 8K at the same time.

If you really want to see how serious he is about paying you back the money, and hanging onto his friendship with you:

Ask him to go to his employer and have the money auto-deducted from his weekly/fortnightly/monthly pay, which at 150K per year shouldn't take too long to knock over!!!

If he is willing to make regular transfers from his into your account, then he is a good friend. If not (sooner or later) you will have no choice but to kiss your money and your friend goodbye because both are well and truly gone!!

Whatever happens, try to remember (unless as Dazz said, it's a gift and even then, it's a dicey game to play):

NEVER EVER mix friends and money, because in the end, you risk losing both!!

Best of luck with getting back your money and holding onto your friendship.
xx
Jo

 

[skater]

Best of luck with getting back your money and holding onto your friendship.
xx
Jo

Yes, please let us know the outcome, whichever way it goes. I hope you really can retain your friendship AND the return of you money.

 

[WASP]

I'm a big fan of Judge Judy. Some people may not like her, but in her late 60's she's literally seen 10's of thousands of these cases. Hard as nails, tough and practical.....no BS entertained.

In every single case like qaz finds himself in, when she is feeling generous, she lets out little pearls of wisdom. This is what she says about lending money to friends.....remember this is after seeing 10,000 or more cases ;

1. If you want to see your money back - DO NOT LEND THEM ANYTHING.

2. If you value their friendship, and you have the money, then gift it away and never ever ask for it back. Don't call it a loan, don't set up repayment plans and never expect anything. A pure gift. Gone. Vamoose.


Your option qaz of trying to make a 22K loan, without security, without signatures, without drawn up contracts, with recourse measures is farcical. You never had a ghosts hope. You are riding on your friends integrity alone, and she's an empty cupboard.


In the immortal words of Bruce Willis in Pulp Fiction - "Zed's dead baby, Zed's dead."

Great to see you enjoying retirement, Oprah is a favourite of daytime TV viewing

 

[Sheryn]

Ask him to go to his employer and have the money auto-deducted from his weekly/fortnightly/monthly pay, which at 150K per year shouldn't take too long to knock over!!!

If he is willing to make regular transfers from his into your account, then he is a good friend.

Qaz

Take friend to his bank and get him to set up direct debit into your account of $200 per week (or more) if he won't do this then he is no friend since he is on 150K.


cheers
Sheryn

 

[vincenzo]

I was looking forward to an update Qaz!

So has this person proved himself a friend, by setting up a direct debit?
or started some sort of repayments?
or written something down such as what I wrote on the previous page?
I hope you haven't just let him continue being a thief, and let him steal some more from you

 

[qaz]

He's already got a direct debit of $100 a week in place. He actually insisted upon this whereas I wanted him to clear the remaining $8k credit card debt first.

I finally woke up and realised this morning that in the same way giving money to a drug addict doesn't help him only enables his habit further, I did the same thing with my friend.

I'm gonna look at whatever options are available to refinance the debt tho I realise due to his now poor credit rating the options may be limited.

I am pretty sure that if I find someone willing to lend him the $20k at an interest rate under 30% pa he'd take it, pay me back and then it would be his problem again as that was the rate he told me his paying on the credit card.

Does anyone know of any personal loans for people with poor credit? I am assuming most of the deals offered on the infochoice website are for people with good credit.

 

[WinstonWolfe]

Does anyone know of any personal loans for people with poor credit? I am assuming most of the deals offered on the infochoice website are for people with good credit.

I don't know of anyone in Canberra, but in Brisbane I had a client once who specialized in this stuff. The rate was usually around 20-25%. google it and see what you get.

BTW, does the guy have any assets the loan can be secured against.

 

[qaz]

No assets no.

His car is on a lease/high purchase agreement, he has no property (he rents) and his other assets are just things like clothes. Even his tv still has payments left on it.

I called up GE Money and told them about the situation and they are looking into it but when I rang him asking him to call them, i found out he's wanting to go borrow another $15k to pay for the upcomming wedding. ARRRGGHH!!!!

 

[Luv2Travel]

I'm sorry, you are way too soft, and this "friend" is taking you for a ride! $100/week is a joke, he should be paying at least $300/week on his sort of salary. And to borrow for the wedding and paying off TV etc. He is a fool, and any true friend would actually have a conscience about owing you this money and be doing all they could to pay it. I'd be pushing the issue that you need the money now (lie if you have to) and he really needs to find a way to get that cash and in the mean time he is to be paying at least $300/week.

Why anyone is marrying into his mess I don't know, unless she's just as useless. This sort of behaviour I can understand from an 18 year old with their first real job, but not someone his age and his income level.

Get tough and goodluck!

 

[qaz]

I am getting "tough" now

i've just emailed him this....

"I really need to talk to you about this debt thing.

I'm sorry, but when I lent you the money I honestly thought this would be the end of your debt problems and I would be paid back quickly. Now that I realise this isn't the case im sorry but I need to ask you to refinance with me and pay me back ASAP.

I know this will put you in a difficult situation financially, however, I was doing you a favour by lending the money to you in the first place and by asking for it back you will be in no worse of a situation now than had I not lent you the money. In fact, you'll be several thousand better off as my loan to you will be interest free when you would have paid 30% p.a interest on the debt had it still remained on your credit card.

Can you please refinance the debt and pay me back ASAP? I know and I understand this will damage the friendship, but I accept this as it is too important for me to beat around the bush any further. I promise you that by paying me back, you won't be in any worse of a situation financially than if I had never lent you the money in the first place."

fingers crossed....

 

[skater]

I'm sorry, you are way too soft, and this "friend" is taking you for a ride! $100/week is a joke, he should be paying at least $300/week on his sort of salary.

I agree with this. One of my kids owed me around $2k. Been paying it back at a rate of $70pw. She is only earning around $30k.

 

[willair]

I am getting "tough" now

i've just emailed him this....

"I really need to talk to you about this debt thing.

I'm sorry, but when I lent you the money I honestly thought this would be the end of your debt problems and I would be paid back quickly. Now that I realise this isn't the case im sorry but I need to ask you to refinance with me and pay me back ASAP.

I know this will put you in a difficult situation financially, however, I was doing you a favour by lending the money to you in the first place and by asking for it back you will be in no worse of a situation now than had I not lent you the money. In fact, you'll be several thousand better off as my loan to you will be interest free when you would have paid 30% p.a interest on the debt had it still remained on your credit card.

Can you please refinance the debt and pay me back ASAP? I know and I understand this will damage the friendship, but I accept this as it is too important for me to beat around the bush any further. I promise you that by paying me back, you won't be in any worse of a situation financially than if I had never lent you the money in the first place."

fingers crossed....

That's one item you learn very quickly in any business,the people that pay with no problems,and the ones that never pay and live on problems
the person you are dealing with is the 2nd type..good luck willair..

 

[WinstonWolfe]

Qaz, one email isn't going to cut it.
You need to be constantly in the guy's face and make him uncomfortable.

Everyday he isn't paying the money back, you need to visit him personally, and be angry.

I repeat, because this is your only chance to get the money back....

You need to make him feel uncomfortable every day the money is not being paid back.

This guy's brain is wired to ignore stuff that isn't in his face.
Every day, you need to get his attention off weddings and other ways of spending money, and onto honoring the debt he owes you.

You have to be a pebble in his shoe.

 

[skater]

If this guy is, in fact, a friend, then letting him know that this has put you in financial difficulty may also work, whereas at the moment he probably thinks that it was just money you had lying around and you won't miss it. Best of luck.

 

[Luv2Travel]

I know and I understand this will damage the friendship, but I accept this as it is too important for me to beat around the bush any further.

I wouldn't be worried about this. If he is a true friend he'll be grateful for the help you gave him, and when paid back you'll still have a friendship (if you still want one that is). If he gets nasty over this and doesn't want the friendship to continue then you know he's no real mate and you're better off without him.