Network Monitoring

Due to recent events at our place, TBH and I have discussed monitoring the kid's computers for a while. We were interested in tracking messenger and facebook conversations and websites visited.

If anyone has experience and recommendations re software, I'd appreciate it.
I've had a bit of a search tonight but it is hard to know how good these things are.
 
You're kidding right?

Save the civil rights indignation for your kids Andrew, when/if you have any.

We are the parents and they are the minors that we are responsible for, and we intend to bring them up by our rules and values, and not those of the lowest common denominator of their peer group.
 
Maybe you should install video cameras in their rooms too and maybe even attach a gps tracker in their shoes.

You post your life stories on a public forum, prepare to be judged.
 
Hi WW,
I would think that at 17, your boy should be old enough to have privacy in this regard. I know that I would not have liked my parents reading what I was talking about at 17 - not that the web was really big when I was 17 (30 now).

I understand parents of young kids being concerned and wanting to track web usage (say up to 15 or so). But in my view at 17 they have the rights to privacy.
 
Can't answer your question WW, but for what it's worth I support your actions despite the criticism here. I believe kids have too many rights these days and partly the reason they're running wild. Your son (I didn't read all the thread, but got an idea of what took place re the alcohol) broke your trust and acted irresponsibly so you have every right to monitor him, as his parent and whilst he's living under your roof, in my opinion.
 
Let me ask the free n easy types what they'd do if they had reason to suspect their kid was dealing in illicit drugs under their roof?

WW, A tough situation, and not 100% what I would do, however I'm not sure that covert monitoring is the way to go. If you do find something out by using the monitoring it could be difficult to use this information without completely losing any trust that may be left.
Why not just have a frank chat about it in a casual setting - ie on the way to driving somewhere - some people say this is the best time to have serious conversations because you can not easily get away, but there is less pressure for eye contact and body language.
 
Let me ask the free n easy types what they'd do if they had reason to suspect their kid was dealing in illicit drugs under their roof?
Answer: Ask if I get a discount since it's under my roof :D


Nah, but seriously shouldn't you have
a: more trust in your son and
b: more confidence in your parenting???

When I was his age (20 years ago) before the internet and mobile phones I was exposed to all and sundry and did the occasional wrong thing but never anything too serious as I knew when to stop and say no.
Reason being I had been taught this by my parents and also both sides of grandparents so I knew right from wrong.

I knew lots of d'heads who took drugs, surfed trains, stole cars etc but I always kept my distance and never got involved in any of it.

and to be honest, if my parents had of secretly monitored me like you are suggesting I would probably have gone and stayed at a friends due to the lack of respect/trust.
 
I'm not going to enter into a debate of what you should or shouldn't do, but if you have good reason to suspect something serious going on I can give some pointers.

All of this depends on their computer literacy (if they're smart they'll see it and stop it - and perhaps lose trust in you), and whether you have physical access to their computer.

What is your computer literacy like? What version of Windows are you using? Do you know if their computer and yours are on the same workgroup? With this information I could give you some step by step instructions on sharing their MSN / Web history so that you can access it from your computer. Unless someone responds with a better method (it is early for me).

Most software that you speak of will have a performance impact on your network / internet and isn't very effective imho.
 
Hi

for those that are against such things at what age does one look at removing ones parental responseability from yourself and transferring it totally to the child ?

10 13 15 17 18 ????


ta
rolf
 
Hi

for those that are against such things at what age does one look at removing ones parental responseability from yourself and transferring it totally to the child ?

10 13 15 17 18 ????


ta
rolf

Im against the idea (unless you are suspecting something illegal, dangerous is going on) and dont believe you should remove reponsibility TOTALLY at any of those ages.
 
I'm not going to enter into a debate of what you should or shouldn't do, but if you have good reason to suspect something serious going on I can give some pointers.

I appreciate that. I thought some would see this decision as a gross violation of privacy.

But in my view, that's where western societies are breaking down. The reason there is a need for ever larger government is because parents are failing to parents.

As for trust, that was broken profoundly, and my view on human nature is that there's never one cockroach in the kitchen, and I'll be proactive in ensuring this home is fumigated. The lad should have thought about the consequences of broken trust beforehand.



Re my computer literacy, I ran a network for a small business and did smaller housekeeping tasks on MS SBS and Exchange server when we outsourced the installation of that to Data 3 in Brisbane.

We are all on the one wireless network. From what I understand we need a computer between a hub/router and the internet, and some s/w requires a small client installed on the monitored puters.

The net connection is fixed microwave broadband, and can be erratic at times, therefore I doubt underperformance would raise suspicions for some time. All OSs are xpp except the son's which is vista.

He has displayed no ability to sort out network issues. I doubt he would understand how to determine whether a spy client is functioning on his puter via the system configuration utility, or windows task manager.

I am out until this afternoon. appreciate any help you can give.
 
Hi

for those that are against such things at what age does one look at removing ones parental responseability from yourself and transferring it totally to the child ?

10 13 15 17 18 ????


ta
rolf

should start removing responsibilities one by one at 16 and finish at 18

after 18 your relationship should transform from parent-child to adult-adult
 
Let me ask the free n easy types what they'd do if they had reason to suspect their kid was dealing in illicit drugs under their roof?
We did it a very simple way,take them for a drive down to central Nimbin
and sit in the street for half a day and watch what goes while the NSW Police walk past as if nothing happening,and show him upfront what drug use does over ones lifespan it's all on show 24-7,that way he can see for himself,once my daughters and the "Boss" saw Nimbin that was enough for them it worked for us Winston,another very easy way is use your family Doctor have a blood test done that way you know upfront what happening,we have always told the girls to be open about everything and know that they can always ask without fear of being sold out..imho..willair..
 
Just don't be shocked when u see what he is looking at on the internet.

I reakon u should hit it from the angle of being the father that he can approach and talk about anything... like if he has had thoughts about taking illegal drugs would you rather him come talk to you about it or talk to his school friends who are taking them about it?

If you want those programs do some google searching and read some reviews on forums, that should help
 
I'm not going to enter into a debate of what you should or shouldn't do, but if you have good reason to suspect something serious going on I can give some pointers.

All of this depends on their computer literacy (if they're smart they'll see it and stop it - and perhaps lose trust in you), and whether you have physical access to their computer.

What is your computer literacy like? What version of Windows are you using? Do you know if their computer and yours are on the same workgroup? With this information I could give you some step by step instructions on sharing their MSN / Web history so that you can access it from your computer. Unless someone responds with a better method (it is early for me).

Most software that you speak of will have a performance impact on your network / internet and isn't very effective imho.

My daughters teacher recommended that all parents should view there kids MSN web history so you can see exactly what they are typing. I don't know how to do it myself but I assume it's what dtraeger is talking about.
 
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