Overcoming that little negative nagging voice in your head

How many people have a little nagging voice in their head saying 'you can't, you shouldn't, it won't work, play it safe'?

After years of taking (calculated) risks in different endeavours, founding businesses, investing & extreme sports, that negative nagging voice is STILL at the back of my head.....

My strategy is to listen to what it says, sometimes writing it down & then point by point address the specific concerns and acknowledge & dismiss the baseless fears.

What do you do to get past the negative voice in your head (if you have one) - what's your strategy?

Cheers,

Aceyducey
 
Hi Acey

That's an interesting question.

Actually, I don't think I have that little voice. Perhaps I'm genetically imperfect, as it is silly not to have one.

Jumping off cliffs, well, I know not to do that, so there isn't any mental discussion about it.

Perhaps the things I do think about are within my own field of endeavour, so all I focus on is how to do it not should I do it.

Sometimes events are delayed by circumstance. I have learnt that usually circumstances work with me, not against me, if only I will allow enough time for the whole circumstance to become clear.

So instead of fretting about delays, I observe the delay and make notes about what I perceive to be happening. Sometimes my impression is very wrong. I have found that pushing events along often is the wrong thing to do. Allowing events to unfold often presents alternative not obvious or not existing at the original time.

I have been puzzled as to why I haven't pushed ahead with the medical centre. I know the area needs one, I am convinced the property and the location are suitable, and yet I have had the place, empty, for eighteen months now with the interest clock ticking but after the initial flurry of activity it has just sat there.

Today, I noticed that units are being built four doors along. The old house was removed from the site, the land was cleared, and over about six months nothing much has happened. The block is the same size as mine. When I bought it, the Council was adamant that the minimum size for the area was 500msq, and the block is 770msq, so that ruled out dual occ.

So, in eighteen months there has been a change in circumstance. Going through my files this evening, I came across some sketches I did for a Class 2 (flats / apartments / multi-residential but not units) building. I would love to own a block of flats (why should Geoff have all the fun?). I don't particularly want to strata title. Perhaps the delay has been to allow me the opportunity to tilt at that particular planning windmill, and to try to get a multi-residential through on the site. With a bit of tweaking and shoving and some nifty traxcavator work I could get sub-basement garages plus two storey townhouses in there. I can cover a 460msq footprint with habitable dwelling, so over two levels that's, say, 900msq, divide that into a mix of three bedroom, two, ones or even studios, and suddenly the world's a brighter place!

So little negative thoughts may just simply be a way for our subconscious to say 'Hang about! Wait a minute 'cos there is something far more interesting coming over the horizon. The opportunity of a lifetime comes around every Tuesday, wait a bit there's more to come'.

I remember reading interviews with Granville survivors, and some of them had distictly heard voices telling them to not get on the train. But of course, it was their usual commuter train and they did get on it.

So Acey yes, we must 'make things happen' but we don't have to make everything happen. Sometimes just going through the intellectual process is the action of the time, and the real circumstance is yet to come.

Watch this space - maybe I'll get my block of flats sooner than I think!!

Regards

Kristine

Yeh, my reputation thingy is switched off so no voting by request!
 
Dear Acey,

I think I may know what endeavour you are talking about.

Quick suggestions:

-Talk with your wife. It is important that both of you are comfortable with it because at the end of the day......... What is most important to you? Your wife can also give you valued input and can independently evaluate through a different set of glasses. At times it is important to listen even when one does not want to. (Rome wasn't built in ONE day. ;) )
-Find more ways to reduce risk. If after exhausting most ways you can come up with for reducing risk then revisit it. What amount of $$$ do you have at risk (dollars invested) and possible $$$ from non completion of contract for example etc. If you are not prepared to lose this amount of money then should you be looking instead at a different opportunity?

(The opportunity of a lifetime does come every week. We just have to see it....... And then take action. :) )

Cheers,

Sunstone.
 
Acey,
just ask yourself one question each morning,What are your personal
and professional abilites and liabilities,and what goals are most important
for the balance of the year,then everything falls into place..
good luck
willair..
 
Acey,

I can relate to that - I experience it as well. I have found that 'catching' the thought helps, and to pretty much dissect it and explore it logically, and then decide that if overall I am doing ok on the path I am on, then I am not interested in further negative thoughts. It's like I sort of make an agreement with myself that I am not interested in entertaining any further negative thoughts about that particular issue. This seems to propel me on a positive path (for a while at least).

Tim

willair said:
Acey,
just ask yourself one question each morning,What are your personal
and professional abilites and liabilities,and what goals are most important
for the balance of the year,then everything falls into place..
good luck
willair..
 
Acey,
This story by Les Gee is one i love.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(*) Noise: the well story Posted: Apr 23, 2002 9:35 PM Anyone remember this post? If you are wondering this is what I call noise.


=====
Noise: The well story

Patrick writes...I truly believe the first step in gaining financial security is you MUST love, trust, and believe in yourself. If not, then you?re not being honest or giving 100% of yourself....

Les replies: And I agree.


Here's a personal story.
After 16 yrs of education now with a BA in Statistics from UC Berkeley coming out feeling like a total idiot even though I did well there...I decide to go to a farm in Oregon. A three-month experience design to learn about oneself through doing. Milk Cows, Feed Chicken, build barbecues etc. It was during those countless times of doing that I became acutely aware of the "noise"in my head that says I can't do that because I didn't go to school for it. Oh, how easy we are programmed in school. If you hadn?t taken a class in it, how do you expect to know the subject? What are you doing Les? You don't have a degree in electricity. How can you possibly wire a light bulb? You never even picked up a hammer before. This ranch was design to give you enough information and then let you at it. (fhu.com)

Remember, seeing the foreman lay carpet by himself. Mine if I help. ...Only 15 minutes gone by before? ?Go ahead and finish It.? said the foreman. "Huh?", was in my head, but of course my voice, said, "ok". Didn?t want to seem unsure of myself. You know that manly thing.

Why is it that I had so much doubt and fear? I come to a startling realization after years of tackling this noise problem. We all have it. Must be born with it. Maybe or parents constantly saying ?NO? to us.

For a newbie in real estate investing, we must learn to overcome this for any chance of success. I'm sure it's the same in any business.


When I was working on a well the another teacher says all I want you to do is change this fitting with a cap and with one word of advice... by the way when you take out the pipe fitting, water will be gushing out pretty fast. Off he went. Wow, my first plumbing job. (By the way, I screwed up the carpet job, but no job is perfect!) Take off one fitting and put on a cap. No problem, how hard can this be? Sure enough off came the pipe...water spilling out in this hot day. Panic set in as I attempted to put on the cap. In one second, "It doesn't fit! It doesn't fit! Yelled the noise in my head. "Go for help!"After 5 seconds of more noise screaming.... Enough! Shut up you stupid voice, how hard is this! (This is the moment I look at when I want to shut the noise and to believe that we all have within us the common sense and divine guidance to do whatever we want in life.)

Well, after calming down and letting the water gush at my stomach...aha...I'm turning the fitting counterclockwise, not clockwise in my panic. Wha-La it worked. Wow, what a powerful voice that was. Where did that come from? Do we all have it? Only 1 second and call for help? BA degree Les, can?t put on a stupid fitting?

The noise is powerful. Don't underestimate the voice that says you can't do something. Trust in yourself. Trust in what you believe to be true. The more you don?t give in to the noise, the less power it has over your life.

3 years later I could be found working as a electronics technician fixing the machines that made the computer chips at Intel. It is truly amazing to me that the ?noise? would pop up daily. Les what in the world are you doing here? You can?t fix this? You haven?t been trained. Those other techs have more experience than you. You are a bookworm not a mechanic.

The job description basically was to fix machines you were barely trained to fix. By the seat of your pants you had to fix it. Was the most stressful job I ever had, more so air traffic controlling.

Here I was working on the state of the art machinery. Trying to fix these machines, with little to no schooling on the machines. I vividly remember my first day. Went on call on a clean station. The supervisor was looking at the thing and said to me, I?ve never work on this before. Within 15 minutes he had it up an running.

Maybe 1 month later I could be found underneath a machine looking at all these values. Les you can?t shut that off, you can causes thousands of dollars of damage. ?SHUT UP NOISE, it just a simple value. Let?s see it only goes to my machine. Yes, I?m flipping the switch. No explosion?.sigh. No one yelling production is down?sign. Another noise successfully shut up.

3 years later, my last year remember working on a wet station. I was the expert on this machinery. Could remember my bosses boss and his boss looking over my shoulder as thousand and thousand of dollars were riding on when I can get this equipment up. The whole line of production was down. ?I don?t know, I just got here, could you give me a minute??


It a fun game, "Life"...if you learn to follow your dreams and don't let the noise get in your way.

Real estate is so simple theoretically. It just that you are playing with big numbers and that means fear and ?noise? rises its ugly head.

Maybe we most of us do need a mentor just to remove all the noise one gets bombarded with.

Yes, even when I started real estate many years later after Intel, after air traffic, after computer programming at Everex, I too still seek after a real estate mentor. Man noise never seem to go away.
Even RK seek out his mentor in RDGTI to learn about company take over and acquistions?

Yes, life is fun. Realize we all have noise and it can be managed with constant supervision.

Les


Hope you enjoyed this post above as much as i do,
all the best,
Agent 86
 
I remember this tip from Napoleon's "Think and Grow Rich":

He had some story about some general, who did a Normandy-style invasion, and afterwards burnt all the ships so the men had to win, or else they'd be dead.


Well my strategy is to tell myself since I have no assets, and still 2 years of university to go, I haven't got anything to lose.

If I die though (consequence), I do have this philosophy. I believe if you die you won't know you're dead, so therefor its not a "bad" thing to get killed on a high-risk endeavour, as you wouldnt know its bad when you're dead.

Now if the consequence of failure was a lifetime of watching Oprah, I'd probably not take the risk.
 
LucasK said:
Well my strategy is to tell myself since I have no assets, and still 2 years of university to go, I haven't got anything to lose.

If I die though (consequence), I do have this philosophy. I believe if you die you won't know you're dead, so therefor its not a "bad" thing to get killed on a high-risk endeavour, as you wouldnt know its bad when you're dead.

Now if the consequence of failure was a lifetime of watching Oprah, I'd probably not take the risk.


Lucas

The truth of the matter is that we all have no assets. Therefore there is nothing to lose.

This does not mean we can act irresponsibly. It just means that we'll never know if we don't have a go.

A shift in my thinking came when a friend lent me 'Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway' (Susan Jeffers). Great book.

"The world's foremost producer of personal development and motivational audio programs gives you the tools to face the fears that hold you back.

We're all afraid of something: beginnings, endings, changing, getting stuck. But fear doesn't have to hold you back from happiness or success. You can change your relationship with fear - and in this dynamic, inspirational program, Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., teaches compassionate concept and highly effective exercises that help you unravel the comlexities and reverse the effects of fear."

When I read that book I visualised $x by Christmas. Not only did I have the money, I had a completely different life. And I mean, completely different.

Mmmm, maybe I should buy myself a copy and read it again! That friend did what she had always wanted to do. At age 45, she went to India by herself and travelled there, alone, for three weeks. Well, alone except for 600,000,000 other people. Brave or foolhardy? She certainly felt the fear, she was a jelly of nerves before she went, she came back a woman transformed by the experience.

Feel the fear and do it anyway

Kristine
 
LucasK said:
I remember this tip from Napoleon's "Think and Grow Rich":

He had some story about some general, who did a Normandy-style invasion, and afterwards burnt all the ships so the men had to win, or else they'd be dead.
That may well have been Cortes (or it may not have been).

Cortes took his soldiers from Cuba (which was a settled Spanish colony) into Mexico (which was really a New World).

He did burn his ships to help motivate his soldiers. Those few hundred Spanish people and their horses helped to bring down the Aztec empire.

However, if we're taking history lessons, there's a few other factors along the way.

The Aztec empire they defeated was a bloodthirsty one- and it ruled by terror, not by cooperation.

And Cortes only won with the cooperation of a "vanquished" group- the Tlaxcaltecas were instrumental in the defeat of the Aztecs.

So if we're going to learn from history- the burnig if the ships is important. But making alliances can be much more important than making enemies.
 
I call that little voice my wife. Being a bit of a gambler I have little or no problem tackling something new, different , etc etc. My wife is a lot more sedate and conservative.

Between us we strike a balance, which seems to be working extremely well. I think without her there, I would have made some big mistake (learning experience) investments. The combination seems to be very effective and I am thankful for it.

Pete
 
Acey, have you heard of gestalt, or voice dialogue, processes whereby you roleplay those voices? You can sit in a different chair according to who the voices are supposed to represent, kind of like Edward de Bono's six hats exercise and speak out aloud as if that voice is a real person.

If you have someone with you, facilitating or guiding, or just listening and reflecting back, you can express everything that the voice is trying to say, but out aloud.

Sometimes it is irrational fear, or conditioning, or the voice of someone or something from long ago. Sometimes it is something within, that is seeking articulation, and there might just be a gem of wisdom somewhere in there.

You don't know until you get it out there. Interesting and revealing process.

Same thing with dreams, if you have recurring dreams or nightmares, you can "gestalt" or roleplay anything in the dream, from inanimate objects to characters within the dream, after all each one is a part of you.

Great imaginative exercise, and great for kids too, especially if they wake up from nightmares a lot with the same images recurring.

The unconscious often holds riches that we don't even know, until we give it expression.

all the best

Oceangirl
 
Aceyducey said:
How many people have a little nagging voice in their head saying 'you can't, you shouldn't, it won't work, play it safe'?

After years of taking (calculated) risks in different endeavours, founding businesses, investing & extreme sports, that negative nagging voice is STILL at the back of my head.....

My strategy is to listen to what it says, sometimes writing it down & then point by point address the specific concerns and acknowledge & dismiss the baseless fears.

What do you do to get past the negative voice in your head (if you have one) - what's your strategy?

Cheers,

Aceyducey
Aceyducey asks:
What do you do to get past the negative voice in your head (if you have one) - what's your strategy?

Sunstone Replies.
Quick suggestions: -Talk with your wife.

I was going to say: I go to a different room, so that I can't hear the negative voice from wife :D
 
Thinking about it, I think anyone who has a voice in their head telling them to do certain things, might have bigger issues than negativity ;)
 
Gut Feelings

I think we all have continual fears.

From wheather it is just talking to the opposite sex or setting up a million $$ development.

Most of the time as time goes by you become more confident from actually being there and doing it. And your skin thicken a little.

However I would like to question how many people out there have had experiences where just quick things they have seen or heard or done have left signifigant, immediate thoughts in there mind . That this has something to do with a lot of my future???

Just 2 examples. I had no intention of being a electrician. Yet i met a careers adviser one day out of the blue that worked for a large power company. For some reason that night I felt that was where my life was going.

Then there have been investment propereties that have just had gut feeling and have been successful.

The home i live in now is in a area I had no consideration of purchasing in. Yet one day it had a Auction sign out the front. After driving past even though I was not really interested there was a spooky feeling that that home was going to have a lot to do with my life.

I attended the auction ,still not that intetrested. Purchased it and have lived ther for 12 years.

Antone else have these sort of spooky feeling of their future??

Gee Cee
 
LucasK said:
Thinking about it, I think anyone who has a voice in their head telling them to do certain things, might have bigger issues than negativity ;)

This makes it sound vaguely sinister or psychotic, when often people have the voice of conditioning or some strong influence from an early time in their life, that just needs shaking off, and not taking too seriously.

Of course, there are also serious conditions, which need to be addressed in the appropriate context, and one mustn't make light of those.

Cheers

oceangirl
 
I'm sure everyone has these irrational 'negative feelings' from time to time. Not necessarely where money concerned (investments), but in other areas as well. Am I good enough to do it. Why it will not work?

I have overcome these by being very strongly focused person, who while has its doubts and fears does not have that fears would overcome him to act. Obviosuly having surroundered yourself with people who can think positively can greatly help. If you have a partner like that, it is absolutely fantastic!

I heard it from RK that Warren Buffet had an absolute fright from public speaking (interestingly I've read somewhere that public speaking is more feared than death :D ) and went to learn about how to ocercome it.

When he was asked about it, he answered that "I went to the course not to stop my knees shaking, but be able to continue to speak while my knees were shaking".
 
Easy. Just stop for a minute, close your eyes and relax. NOw see in your mind a switch (or a volume control knob, or both) that says "Negative Voice" ON-OFF (from -10 to 10 for the volume knob). NOW turn that switch OFF! Turn the volume knob way down to -10 AND the voice will stop/ you can't hear it anymore, cos its so damn soft.

Now see another swith in your mind that says "Positive motivating empowering voice". Turn it up/on.

Then there's another switch that plays motivating and uplifting music like "Eye of the TIger" or "YOu're SImply the Best".

The 'negative voice' is nothing but 'thinking and talking to yourself.' You just need to direct that internal dialogue. Its the same voice that tells people just before they are going to do something "You can't do that. It wont work. Who do you think you are?"

This method was created by a hypnotist called Leslie LeCron. He took a petient who was going for root canal, and he asked the patient to "relax, close eyes, go into the 'control room' of his mind, and see the switch that says "PAIN", and NOW, turn it OFF!"

And he sent the guy across the street to the dentist to do root canal WITHOUT ANY anaestetic! And the guy came back to LECron's office with a smile, he felt no pain at all. TO check if it was the switch that's doing the trick, Lecron told him to turn the switch back on for a while. And the guy yelled and screamed in pain. Turn it off again and his face showed relief, and he laughed.
 
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