Personal Development - Spiritual path - Enlightenment

I'm so happy. :)

I have transformed and grown so much since I went to the Mi.chael Row.land weekend course in April this year. I am so much stronger now. It Covered topics such as mindset, personal development, consciousness, happiness etc etc. I've also been reading thoroughly on the topic and have benefited by reading some of De.epak Ch.opras books too. Have also been reading a lot about Karm.a (learning life.s les.sons) too lately.


I can see such a big improvement in how im dealing with conflicts at work and other work related matters. This time last year a lady who had only been working in my section for a few months was promoted to team leader whilst the regular guy was hurt and missed the entire week. I couldn't handle her constant bullying and her putting me down style. I ended up taking half the week off as sick leave. I ran away from the situation and got a job on another floor for 1 month cos I could'nt handle the fact that she was in charge. I felt devalued not to mentioned bullyed. At that stage all of the managers totally loved her but didnt realise what she was truly like. I didnt realise she was such a mean b***t until she got the leadership position and it was like a light switches on in her head and she acts like a dictator. She also wouldn't listen to any of my input. She had only been in the department for just a few months and was inexperienced in that regard whereas i had been there for 6 years. So that pissed me off too.

After J.ulie had been in our team for 4 months she won a promotion in another team in our area. There are 4 teams. She worked there for 10 months and meanwhile I was working with our new team leader who was appointed. Ju.lies position was re-advertised and she didnt win it so she had to come back to her substantive on my team again and I thought yey thats cool to have her back cos we were the best of friends when she went to the other team. But as soon as she came back she was so distant with me and the team leader Er.ic. Er.ic and I are very close and I'm very supportive of him. I turned the job down because i felt like it would be too much for me and at the time was suffering from depression. I dont want the job 24/7 but i like to do er.ics job whilst he is away sick or on leave. Anyway I came good after about 6 weeks and was enjoying developing this relationship with Er.ic. Meanwhile the guy he beat out for the job was totally negative about the whole thing so much so that they had to move him onto another team cos he was just becoming a very negative and bitter person.

Anyway to get back to the point.... when Jul.ie came back into my team she was so distant and hated the fact that E.ric and i were close and were leading the team. I think she has control issues. She needs to be in charge!! When Er.ic was away i was the team leader and she wouldn't do what i told her to do, made life really difficult. I kept good notes and in the end I made the complaints formal. i had also talked about the problems i was having with her to my supervisor and the managers beforehand too. Turns out lots of other people were complaining about her behaviour too. She gave er.ic and the guy who was helping to train him fe.lix a hard time too.

She had a disciplinary meeting, she was totally distraught from it all. Played the victim, cried and cried. Then one of the managers, the manager that she sucks up to who thinks she is just loooovely tells er.ic that he wants him to give her a go as team leader. I was quite angry when i first heard about this and petrified at the treatment that was awaiting me! This all happened on my holidays too, this turn of events. I also could'nt understand how they could reward her with the acting when she had been such a ****, causing all these problems. Managers told me that they will be keeping a close eye on her. They have been happy with me as 2nd in charge and happy i have been so supportive of my new team leader. In some way i think they think that she will be bought down and that they can say to her then "see you are not capable of doing this job, we gave you a shot at it and you were not suitable" Thats what er.ic my team leader has heard.


Fast forward to today.

Even though I'm not happy with the situation that she is in charge now. I'm so proud of myself in how i acted, and my behaviour. At first i was dreading coming into work this morning. I was tempted to stay home but that thought didnt last long. I dont want to run from the situation. Also didn't want to give her and her cronnies the satisfaction of thinking im bitter and running from the situation.

The whole day there were these subtle putdowns and criticisms but i didnt let them get to me. I didnt get angry, negative upset! I was positive and happy. I reminded myself that this was meant to happen for a reason! She was meant to get the job and that is what the universe was pushing! All is good. I believe that there is a life lesson that needed to be learnt by me. Its to do with karma. This is why i think we keep getting very difficult people in our area. They keep coming thick and fast because they are there to teach me some lessons. These people and there has been 5 including j.ulie are sent to me to help me work out some things. To learn things. I now dont see it as a form of punishment. I look forward to the challenge it brings.



I think that some of the people who are on j.ulies side (she has them wrapped around her finger) they dont know what she is really like cos they sit up the other end of the office and she makes up all these lies so they think she is for real.

Anyway I was happy, the team were happy, we all got along together. She was like a changed person acting as the team leader too. You could see that her ego had been given a boost. Gee she must be an insecure person to have to resort to bullying tactics! She was so happy to be in charge. When i was the 2nd in charge she was really unhappy sulking for the past 2 months. totally un-coperative. I did as she told me to do, unlike the crap i got from her. I did pick my battles though. When she put me down often the best thing to do to the bully is laugh with them, dont show your angry or upset and thats what i did some of the time. Cos see its all a game to them. They are after a reaction from you, to get you really upset!! They thrive off that!! Some other times she put me down I would just ignore and smile. On one occasion though I had to explain and stand up for myself. Cos she could not see the bigger picture to something. Needed to voice my opinion. And even then i did it in a way that i didnt get angry. We didnt fight like we would have in the past. I explained, she talked and then i think she finally got what i was getting at and could see my point of view. I still didnt like the fact that she critized but oh well. She's just a d*** Doesn't matter.

The other thing i forgot to mention. This bit is edited in. She could sense i have become stronger and that im not gonna take any of her s*** anymore. So that was good.

I dont think she will last that long acting as team leader. She has put too many people of side. She had a go at the manager today. I was on the phone didnt catch it all but the manager's voice got quite loud. She also haha went to one of the ladies who was helping us from another team and asked her "why are you so slow at sca.nning? Is there a reason?" omg how funny, how can she say something like that lmao. So she put this lady offside. She answered back that she had some urgent phone calls she had to attend to.

Anyway, I would not do anything to sabotage her efforts like some people might do. I can see that she is slowly digging herself a hole. I just wonder how long it will take till they decide enough is enough. She is already trying to change things/change processes. lol er.ic is not going to like this. I am going to stay right out of the whole mess. None of my business. I actually feel quite sorry for her to need to resort to such measures to get the acting position so that she can feel better about herself. I am also wondering if she might have some kind of personality disorder. I dont know, i would not really be surprised. Its quite sad really, if she does have a mental disorder that is undiagnosed. But im just guessing.

Yeah, so what have I learnt:

Quite a few things

That you cannot control things/people/situations, you just do your best with the situation and control what you do.

I've learnt how to deal with bullys effectively.

Learnt how to place myself in the another persons shoes so I can see their point of view. Think about how they are feeling.

Learnt better communication skills in general

Learnt i am a stronger women now

I will be going on an interesting communication/interpersonal course for work soon. I'm looking forward to it. There will be a section on conflict management and learning to deal with difficult people.

I am so happy i am down the spiritual path now. Becoming a happier and fullfilled person. It might not have happened, and this is going to sound a bit strange but this might not have happened if it wern't for an old foo.ty team mate who commi.tted sui.cide just over a year ago. I summond up the courage to post a reply to my friends su.icide topic on fac.eboo.k. I opened up to her about myself and... really set me on this road. I think to myself, now what positive has come out of this negative. Well the positive was for me r.i.ley. Thanks ri.ley mate. r.les also lead me to the foo.ty re.uinon too where it all started for me.

I now not only feel in control financially but also feel im becoming in more control of other things in my life. It does take time though, but im glad i have improved tremendously in how i deal with bullys, in how i deal with conflicts at work. There are other areas in my life i want to work on too and that will come in time.


I have had all this on my chest for a while and have wanted to post something here. Finally after what has happened today i was very enthusiastic to make this thread.


If you have read this far:
How have you dealt with workplace bullies? I would love to hear some stories


What kinds of personal development courses have you been on?

Instincts
Co-incidences

to be continued!
 
Last edited:
nice process of self discovery !

there is so much we dont know about ourselves than we think we do.

Your workplace scenario is one reason why I am "unemployable".

ta
rolf
 
I read half way down, then thought you were taking the p...
I was going to recommend a book to you that changed my life, but then noted you refer to yourself as female.....and I thought you might not get it.

Anyway, for me, it is all about the personal growth.....put that first, and whatever wealth follows won't be as bitter or temporary.

Re bullies, the solution lies in self mastery and self respect.
When you anchor into a noble set of values, and feel the support of the universe back of you, bullies seem 1cm tall, not 10 metres.

The revelation is, to realize what 'self' is.
 
I was just wondering if you could please elaborate on the situation...:D

Seriously though, these sorts of people are their own worst enemy...just stand back and let them do what they do...it will eventually all come tumbling down.

You sound like a good, reasonable person...good things will come to you...

Boods
 
I'm so happy. :)

I have transformed and grown so much since I went to the Mi.chael Row.land weekend course in April this year. I am so much stronger now. It Covered topics such as mindset, personal development, consciousness, happiness etc etc. I've also been reading thoroughly on the topic and have benefited by reading some of De.epak Ch.opras books too. Have also been reading a lot about Karm.a (learning life.s les.sons) too lately.


I can see such a big improvement in how im dealing with conflicts at work and other work related matters. This time last year a lady who had only been working in my section for a few months was promoted to team leader whilst the regular guy was hurt and missed the entire week. I couldn't handle her constant bullying and her putting me down style. I ended up taking half the week off as sick leave. I ran away from the situation and got a job on another floor for 1 month cos I could'nt handle the fact that she was in charge. I felt devalued not to mentioned bullyed. At that stage all of the managers totally loved her but didnt realise what she was truly like. I didnt realise she was such a mean b***t until she got the leadership position and it was like a light switches on in her head and she acts like a dictator. She also wouldn't listen to any of my input. She had only been in the department for just a few months and was inexperienced in that regard whereas i had been there for 6 years. So that pissed me off too.

After J.ulie had been in our team for 4 months she won a promotion in another team in our area. There are 4 teams. She worked there for 10 months and meanwhile I was working with our new team leader who was appointed. Ju.lies position was re-advertised and she didnt win it so she had to come back to her substantive on my team again and I thought yey thats cool to have her back cos we were the best of friends when she went to the other team. But as soon as she came back she was so distant with me and the team leader Er.ic. Er.ic and I are very close and I'm very supportive of him. I turned the job down because i felt like it would be too much for me and at the time was suffering from depression. I dont want the job 24/7 but i like to do er.ics job whilst he is away sick or on leave. Anyway I came good after about 6 weeks and was enjoying developing this relationship with Er.ic. Meanwhile the guy he beat out for the job was totally negative about the whole thing so much so that they had to move him onto another team cos he was just becoming a very negative and bitter person.

Anyway to get back to the point.... when Jul.ie came back into my team she was so distant and hated the fact that E.ric and i were close and were leading the team. I think she has control issues. She needs to be in charge!! When Er.ic was away i was the team leader and she wouldn't do what i told her to do, made life really difficult. I kept good notes and in the end I made the complaints formal. i had also talked about the problems i was having with her to my supervisor and the managers beforehand too. Turns out lots of other people were complaining about her behaviour too. She gave er.ic and the guy who was helping to train him fe.lix a hard time too.

She had a disciplinary meeting, she was totally distraught from it all. Played the victim, cried and cried. Then one of the managers, the manager that she sucks up to who thinks she is just loooovely tells er.ic that he wants him to give her a go as team leader. I was quite angry when i first heard about this and petrified at the treatment that was awaiting me! This all happened on my holidays too, this turn of events. I also could'nt understand how they could reward her with the acting when she had been such a ****, causing all these problems. Managers told me that they will be keeping a close eye on her. They have been happy with me as 2nd in charge and happy i have been so supportive of my new team leader. In some way i think they think that she will be bought down and that they can say to her then "see you are not capable of doing this job, we gave you a shot at it and you were not suitable" Thats what er.ic my team leader has heard.


Fast forward to today.

Even though I'm not happy with the situation that she is in charge now. I'm so proud of myself in how i acted, and my behaviour. At first i was dreading coming into work this morning. I was tempted to stay home but that thought didnt last long. I dont want to run from the situation. Also didn't want to give her and her cronnies the satisfaction of thinking im bitter and running from the situation.

The whole day there were these subtle putdowns and criticisms but i didnt let them get to me. I didnt get angry, negative upset! I was positive and happy. I reminded myself that this was meant to happen for a reason! She was meant to get the job and that is what the universe was pushing! All is good. I believe that there is a life lesson that needed to be learnt by me. Its to do with karma. This is why i think we keep getting very difficult people in our area. They keep coming thick and fast because they are there to teach me some lessons. These people and there has been 5 including j.ulie are sent to me to help me work out some things. To learn things. I now dont see it as a form of punishment. I look forward to the challenge it brings.



I think that some of the people who are on j.ulies side (she has them wrapped around her finger) they dont know what she is really like cos they sit up the other end of the office and she makes up all these lies so they think she is for real.

Anyway I was happy, the team were happy, we all got along together. She was like a changed person acting as the team leader too. You could see that her ego had been given a boost. Gee she must be an insecure person to have to resort to bullying tactics! She was so happy to be in charge. When i was the 2nd in charge she was really unhappy sulking for the past 2 months. totally un-coperative. I did as she told me to do, unlike the crap i got from her. I did pick my battles though. When she put me down often the best thing to do to the bully is laugh with them, dont show your angry or upset and thats what i did some of the time. Cos see its all a game to them. They are after a reaction from you, to get you really upset!! They thrive off that!! Some other times she put me down I would just ignore and smile. On one occasion though I had to explain and stand up for myself. Cos she could not see the bigger picture to something. Needed to voice my opinion. And even then i did it in a way that i didnt get angry. We didnt fight like we would have in the past. I explained, she talked and then i think she finally got what i was getting at and could see my point of view. I still didnt like the fact that she critized but oh well. She's just a d*** Doesn't matter.

The other thing i forgot to mention. This bit is edited in. She could sense i have become stronger and that im not gonna take any of her s*** anymore. So that was good.

I dont think she will last that long acting as team leader. She has put too many people of side. She had a go at the manager today. I was on the phone didnt catch it all but the manager's voice got quite loud. She also haha went to one of the ladies who was helping us from another team and asked her "why are you so slow at sca.nning? Is there a reason?" omg how funny, how can she say something like that lmao. So she put this lady offside. She answered back that she had some urgent phone calls she had to attend to.

Anyway, I would not do anything to sabotage her efforts like some people might do. I can see that she is slowly digging herself a hole. I just wonder how long it will take till they decide enough is enough. She is already trying to change things/change processes. lol er.ic is not going to like this. I am going to stay right out of the whole mess. None of my business. I actually feel quite sorry for her to need to resort to such measures to get the acting position so that she can feel better about herself. I am also wondering if she might have some kind of personality disorder. I dont know, i would not really be surprised. Its quite sad really, if she does have a mental disorder that is undiagnosed. But im just guessing.

Yeah, so what have I learnt:

Quite a few things

That you cannot control things/people/situations, you just do your best with the situation and control what you do.

I've learnt how to deal with bullys effectively.

Learnt how to place myself in the another persons shoes so I can see their point of view. Think about how they are feeling.

Learnt better communication skills in general

Learnt i am a stronger women now

I will be going on an interesting communication/interpersonal course for work soon. I'm looking forward to it. There will be a section on conflict management and learning to deal with difficult people.

I am so happy i am down the spiritual path now. Becoming a happier and fullfilled person. It might not have happened, and this is going to sound a bit strange but this might not have happened if it wern't for an old foo.ty team mate who commi.tted sui.cide just over a year ago. I summond up the courage to post a reply to my friends su.icide topic on fac.eboo.k. I opened up to her about myself and... really set me on this road. I think to myself, now what positive has come out of this negative. Well the positive was for me r.i.ley. Thanks ri.ley mate. r.les also lead me to the foo.ty re.uinon too where it all started for me.

I now not only feel in control financially but also feel im becoming in more control of other things in my life. It does take time though, but im glad i have improved tremendously in how i deal with bullys, in how i deal with conflicts at work. There are other areas in my life i want to work on too and that will come in time.


I have had all this on my chest for a while and have wanted to post something here. Finally after what has happened today i was very enthusiastic to make this thread.


If you have read this far:
How have you dealt with workplace bullies? I would love to hear some stories


What kinds of personal development courses have you been on?

Instincts
Co-incidences

to be continued!

Hi Alex
you are a brave person getting into this stuff and sharing, I am trying to get my head around it all. Any chance of summarising the outcome, sorry but my little brain is not what it used to be.

Cheers, MTR

MTR
 
Interestesting post, bullies always have karma bite them on the ar$e, always be professional and don't let it ever become personal. Remember its just a job! If your not happy find something else its never worth getting wound up about and forcing yourself to take time off or getting sick over.

In relation to courses I have been plenty, all sorts of management style ones, I attended one on public speaking of which they devoted a fair amount of time to body language. Since then this is what I have followed up on, I never realised until I did this course and then all my own research as to how much people say with there actions, character, style, tone etc when saying something. I have found since learning and understanding body language it's less about the what they say and more about the how they say. I find it easier to diffuse a situation as you can see the aggression before they even speak. Now I just need to find the correlation for this skill for phone conferences and emailing.

Jezza
 
I'm thankful that my employer takes bullying and harassment very seriously (State government) so its a very large deterant. But if i did have issues emotionally etc, they have a councelling service avaliable which is great.

I have a really good team of people that i work with, good friends with everyone.

But yeah things do get ontop of me sometimes, it was abit recently, but im on holidays now which is great! (missing the folk @ work tho lol)

When people @ my work get down and wanna leave/change departments i always give encouraging comments like "Don't leave man, it won't be as good if you ain't here".

I'm big on being thanked/appreciated (i know i get paid) i just like to hear it lol. If i get told im doing a good job i work harder, if i get told im **** my mood/productivity goes down
 
Re bullies, the solution lies in self mastery and self respect.
When you anchor into a noble set of values, and feel the support of the universe back of you, bullies seem 1cm tall, not 10 metres.

The revelation is, to realize what 'self' is.

This is so very true, but hard to advise a person on how to achieve it.

Kim, you need to detatch yourself a little and not worry so much what others do. Things may improve by simply doing this.

There will always be people we don't particularly like or understand in the workplace.

You need to work out if she's actually bullying and targeting you first, or if she's just one of these rude and difficult people (I say this because you say that there have been a few of these people in the workplace).

You also say you've suffered with depression. Do you have some insight on why this is so. Could this be happening again.

When we're not happy with ourselves or as WW has mentioned, have a lack of self respect, what you're effectively doing is allowing others to treat you the same.

Be kind to yourself and I hope things improve.
 
These bullies are horrid in the workplace.

I took time off sick just to avoid a new manager who was bullying me. Went to the work counsellor too who was a great help. Bought new suit to start going for interviews b/c couldn't stand working with her anymore. Situation was so bad I'd come home crying & feel sick in the morning before work.

Had so many bad feelings towards her b/c she was so nicey-nice to certain people & so vindictive towards others. Some couldn't see how b*tchy she was & this got up my nose too!

Anyhow, ended up trying my hardest to only wish her good karma...thinking same as you, that these people are brought into our lives to teach us lessons. Within a month, she had gone to a new organisation (god help 'em, she was going to be an advocate for people with disabilities!?!).

I learnt you can't fight bullies alone. I agree too that laughing at them diffuses their power trip & probably upsets them cos they're not getting the rise they're after.

Still wish her good karma, but would love to tell her what I really think of her if we bumped into each other in the street as equals :)
 
Hi

I have learnt that the ability to be centered in all situations is of prime importance. There is no way ANY bully can get to your inside if you do not allow them.

These are tests .....all of them just to see How far we have evolved beyond our normal superficial lives. There is an inner us waiting to be tapped and until we get there and be one with it all these frivolities of life will keep haunting and trouble us.

All of us have an Aura largely dependent on our health, actions and most importantly thoughts....The more positive all of these are, the stronger our aura becomes and nothing can impregnate it.

We cant change the bullies BUT WE CAN STOP BEING AFFECTED BY THEM most certainly so

whats great about all of this is we dont need to go to expensive courses, classes,books to learn these basic facts....Its a switch that we need to turn ON Its there in all of us ..............


Cheers
 
thanks for all the replies and advice!!

i've been really busy this weekend and dont have time to reply! lol plus my energy has been drained after writing that massive post haha

Anyway i'll re-visit this thread next weekend when i have more time. i have a lot more i want to say.

thanks

:)
 
My two cents worth- it is a toxic workplace and you need an exit strategy. Ramp up your investments.

I did work experience once in the public service here in Qld and they were for the most part a bunch of flexi timing penny pinching jerkoffs.

In some battles even a victory is a loss and you may need to refight the battle.

Use your energy more effectively elsewhere.
 
Re bullies, the solution lies in self mastery and self respect. When you anchor into a noble set of values, and feel the support of the universe back of you, bullies seem 1cm tall, not 10 metres.

The revelation is, to realize what 'self' is.

Yes, i've been reading/learning about your real self compared to your ego! I think in the past i have been more rapt up in my own ego/personality and when she first came to the department a year ago and suddenly took over from my role as 2nd in charge 1 year ago I took it hard, was very negative. I couldn't handle it. I felt I wasn't valued or respected anymore.

I truly believe the work I have been doing since April on my personal development/spirtual side has all been for a reason! To help me with what has been occuring in my team. The past 2 months since j.j has come back into my team it has been so difficult because she has alienated herself by trying to gain control and become the leader.

It took me a while to accept that she has taken my 2nd in charge role away from me again and this time through manipulation. I do feel like I have been demoted! Management have told me i have done a very good job and that they didnt give j.j the job because i had done anything wrong, they wanted to give her the job to see if her behaviour would improve. I feel though that I have been cheated and that she has been rewarded for what??? The main manager knows i dont think this is fair but that i will support her and follow her instructions and will work hard to get along with her.


I have been trying very hard to keep positive this time and think of all the positives to come out of it. I know I have to concentrate on the present, and not look to the past. I hope though that j.j at some stage will meet with me because there are lots of things that need to be resolved between us. Its out of my control though what she does. I just have to control my own behaviour.

I think what i need to put into practice the next time i'm not happy with a behaviour of hers towards me is...... to immediately discuss this with her, not to leave it to fester and then bring it up at a later date with her. I wrote an email to my team leader about her bullying tactics to keep it on record. I look forward to Monday when she will be acting team leader while e.ric is away. I hope she will be nicer. Yesterday she was quite nice and i felt like during one of the tasks she wasn't as controlling, so i hope she has turned the corner! If she can see that i am being supportive of her, perhaps she wont feel the need to bully. I dunno?


I heard from a couple of people in management that they put her in the job just to wait until she f**** it up! cos they knew that she would! I dont want to see this. I think this is cruel. I like her, have always liked her, but I think her communication skills/interpersonal skills need to improve, also needs to improve by not being so strict and controlling. I hope she will get better the longer she is in the role. I have seen both sides of Ju.lie. She is a good person! I have seen her kind/compassionate side. Thats what i really like about her. She has some great quailities! :) I really hope we can all gel well as a group because I remember when she first arrived we all got on like a house on fire, it was great. I want to get that back. I want to try to become friends with her again. It wont be close like the old days but hopefully we can improve.

I can sense though that she is trying to take e.ric my team leaders job! I feel she wants the #1 job. She keeps trying to change the processes. I'm all for her making suggestions and stuff but the way that she goes about it is all wrong! e.ric has been sending me the emails he has been getting from her.


I truly hope she doesn't try to scheme and manipulate her way to be the permanent team leader. If she doesn't get what she wants she will be so bitter and hard to work with. I'm afraid to think how she might manipulate her way into the role or what acts she might carry out. I dont want all this drama. Its not good. Not good for anyone.

The main thing is.... for me... i dont want to see conflict in the team. I want peace and harmony. I want everyone to feel good about themselves, i dont want to see people put down. I will work hard to support my new acting team leader. Build her up, make her feel good about herself again. I'll be right behind her. But also wont be trodden over. I will voice my opinions, and when/if conflicts do occur i want them to be resolved straight away. This is why i would like to meet with her soon. Hopefully she will be willing to meet with me.

The positives for me:

* Although i do enjoy the role of 2nd in charge, i've realised that i am limited in what i can do. I have to manage my mental health as I have a condition that can effect my moods if i am not healthy! I find after filling in for a months acting it tends to drain my energy. In this job you need a lot of energy, there is so much to do! My main goal is to be able to work until full-time till retirement (at age 57) and be physically/mentally healthy.

Also to buy a property every 2-3 years. The next time I buy hopefully i dont get as stressed out over it. Someone posted....why was i depressed in December, it was because i got sick. I had just bought my first ip, got a bit too high then went on holidays and mood tumbled down because i went from being 100% full of activity (working full time and buying my first ip) to doing nothing for a week. Plus what happens when i get high, after the high follows the low (the depression) Anyway, thats another reason why i dont think its a good idea for me to buy property too quickly. 2-3 years i think is ideal for me. :) Just want to add.... i am managing my health quite well but if i have a major stress in my life (death, unemployment, something huge etc) then i am at increased risk of getting sick. I have to manage my stress levels.

* Not having to worry about the 2nd in charge role it will give me a lot of time to concentrate on investing.

* I will also have time to work on my personal development, social life, sports

* It will mean less hours. You work longer hours when doing the job. Not good!

This is a great department to work for. There is a very strong chance of my position being re-classified to level 3 which will be very good money for me. I have felt and been proud to earn $50 K pa and wouldn't have minded to earn that amount the rest of my life for PAYG income, but to earn $57 -$63 K pa as a level 3 I will be stoked!! This will help me tremendously with my investing and if i do get the level 3 i will save/invest the increase!!! I will pretend i'm still on level 2. I can survive comfortably on level 2. yey


thanks for reading. wow i cant believe how much i have told about myself here.

i have saved this to a word document incase i lose my post here ;)

:)
 
Seriously though, these sorts of people are their own worst enemy...just stand back and let them do what they do...it will eventually all come tumbling down.
Boods

Yes, I think you could be right. I'm afraid and have a feeling this might happen. I would feel quite sorry for her and also the impact this would have on the team if this does happen! Meanwhile... I will try to stay detached and just concentrate on myself and realise i have no control over how others behave. I have to control my reactions, and stay out of things that dont concern me.



You sound like a good, reasonable person...good things will come to you...

Thanks :)
 
Hi Alex
you are a brave person getting into this stuff and sharing, I am trying to get my head around it all. Any chance of summarising the outcome, sorry but my little brain is not what it used to be.

Cheers, MTR

MTR

lol sorry, i can sometimes be long winded. haha to summarise, i wouldn't know where to start! Thanks for your comment. Hmmm i have been meaning to write back to your pm, but then i think i forgot.
 
Interestesting post, bullies always have karma bite them on the ar$e, always be professional and don't let it ever become personal. Remember its just a job! If your not happy find something else its never worth getting wound up about and forcing yourself to take time off or getting sick over.

In relation to courses I have been plenty, all sorts of management style ones, I attended one on public speaking of which they devoted a fair amount of time to body language. Since then this is what I have followed up on, I never realised until I did this course and then all my own research as to how much people say with there actions, character, style, tone etc when saying something. I have found since learning and understanding body language it's less about the what they say and more about the how they say. I find it easier to diffuse a situation as you can see the aggression before they even speak. Now I just need to find the correlation for this skill for phone conferences and emailing.

Jezza

:cool: i have a passion for body language too. the flirting/attraction kind of body language haha.

do you watch that show lie to me. its great!! :)

So if you see the persons aggressive body language, how do you go about diffusing it?


i was watching borderline security the other night and one lady who was talking to this aggressive guy whose bags were being searched handled his aggression very well. At the end of the show she explained that she didnt react to the situation she calmly told the man what the process was, had a calm face, and so it didnt escalate. she said she has learnt to deal with aggressive types by acting this way otherwise you would'nt last 2 seconds in the job, you would think the attack was a personal one. i was quite impressed by her demeanour and behaviour.
 
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