I'm so happy.
I have transformed and grown so much since I went to the Mi.chael Row.land weekend course in April this year. I am so much stronger now. It Covered topics such as mindset, personal development, consciousness, happiness etc etc. I've also been reading thoroughly on the topic and have benefited by reading some of De.epak Ch.opras books too. Have also been reading a lot about Karm.a (learning life.s les.sons) too lately.
I can see such a big improvement in how im dealing with conflicts at work and other work related matters. This time last year a lady who had only been working in my section for a few months was promoted to team leader whilst the regular guy was hurt and missed the entire week. I couldn't handle her constant bullying and her putting me down style. I ended up taking half the week off as sick leave. I ran away from the situation and got a job on another floor for 1 month cos I could'nt handle the fact that she was in charge. I felt devalued not to mentioned bullyed. At that stage all of the managers totally loved her but didnt realise what she was truly like. I didnt realise she was such a mean b***t until she got the leadership position and it was like a light switches on in her head and she acts like a dictator. She also wouldn't listen to any of my input. She had only been in the department for just a few months and was inexperienced in that regard whereas i had been there for 6 years. So that pissed me off too.
After J.ulie had been in our team for 4 months she won a promotion in another team in our area. There are 4 teams. She worked there for 10 months and meanwhile I was working with our new team leader who was appointed. Ju.lies position was re-advertised and she didnt win it so she had to come back to her substantive on my team again and I thought yey thats cool to have her back cos we were the best of friends when she went to the other team. But as soon as she came back she was so distant with me and the team leader Er.ic. Er.ic and I are very close and I'm very supportive of him. I turned the job down because i felt like it would be too much for me and at the time was suffering from depression. I dont want the job 24/7 but i like to do er.ics job whilst he is away sick or on leave. Anyway I came good after about 6 weeks and was enjoying developing this relationship with Er.ic. Meanwhile the guy he beat out for the job was totally negative about the whole thing so much so that they had to move him onto another team cos he was just becoming a very negative and bitter person.
Anyway to get back to the point.... when Jul.ie came back into my team she was so distant and hated the fact that E.ric and i were close and were leading the team. I think she has control issues. She needs to be in charge!! When Er.ic was away i was the team leader and she wouldn't do what i told her to do, made life really difficult. I kept good notes and in the end I made the complaints formal. i had also talked about the problems i was having with her to my supervisor and the managers beforehand too. Turns out lots of other people were complaining about her behaviour too. She gave er.ic and the guy who was helping to train him fe.lix a hard time too.
She had a disciplinary meeting, she was totally distraught from it all. Played the victim, cried and cried. Then one of the managers, the manager that she sucks up to who thinks she is just loooovely tells er.ic that he wants him to give her a go as team leader. I was quite angry when i first heard about this and petrified at the treatment that was awaiting me! This all happened on my holidays too, this turn of events. I also could'nt understand how they could reward her with the acting when she had been such a ****, causing all these problems. Managers told me that they will be keeping a close eye on her. They have been happy with me as 2nd in charge and happy i have been so supportive of my new team leader. In some way i think they think that she will be bought down and that they can say to her then "see you are not capable of doing this job, we gave you a shot at it and you were not suitable" Thats what er.ic my team leader has heard.
Fast forward to today.
Even though I'm not happy with the situation that she is in charge now. I'm so proud of myself in how i acted, and my behaviour. At first i was dreading coming into work this morning. I was tempted to stay home but that thought didnt last long. I dont want to run from the situation. Also didn't want to give her and her cronnies the satisfaction of thinking im bitter and running from the situation.
The whole day there were these subtle putdowns and criticisms but i didnt let them get to me. I didnt get angry, negative upset! I was positive and happy. I reminded myself that this was meant to happen for a reason! She was meant to get the job and that is what the universe was pushing! All is good. I believe that there is a life lesson that needed to be learnt by me. Its to do with karma. This is why i think we keep getting very difficult people in our area. They keep coming thick and fast because they are there to teach me some lessons. These people and there has been 5 including j.ulie are sent to me to help me work out some things. To learn things. I now dont see it as a form of punishment. I look forward to the challenge it brings.
I think that some of the people who are on j.ulies side (she has them wrapped around her finger) they dont know what she is really like cos they sit up the other end of the office and she makes up all these lies so they think she is for real.
Anyway I was happy, the team were happy, we all got along together. She was like a changed person acting as the team leader too. You could see that her ego had been given a boost. Gee she must be an insecure person to have to resort to bullying tactics! She was so happy to be in charge. When i was the 2nd in charge she was really unhappy sulking for the past 2 months. totally un-coperative. I did as she told me to do, unlike the crap i got from her. I did pick my battles though. When she put me down often the best thing to do to the bully is laugh with them, dont show your angry or upset and thats what i did some of the time. Cos see its all a game to them. They are after a reaction from you, to get you really upset!! They thrive off that!! Some other times she put me down I would just ignore and smile. On one occasion though I had to explain and stand up for myself. Cos she could not see the bigger picture to something. Needed to voice my opinion. And even then i did it in a way that i didnt get angry. We didnt fight like we would have in the past. I explained, she talked and then i think she finally got what i was getting at and could see my point of view. I still didnt like the fact that she critized but oh well. She's just a d*** Doesn't matter.
The other thing i forgot to mention. This bit is edited in. She could sense i have become stronger and that im not gonna take any of her s*** anymore. So that was good.
I dont think she will last that long acting as team leader. She has put too many people of side. She had a go at the manager today. I was on the phone didnt catch it all but the manager's voice got quite loud. She also haha went to one of the ladies who was helping us from another team and asked her "why are you so slow at sca.nning? Is there a reason?" omg how funny, how can she say something like that lmao. So she put this lady offside. She answered back that she had some urgent phone calls she had to attend to.
Anyway, I would not do anything to sabotage her efforts like some people might do. I can see that she is slowly digging herself a hole. I just wonder how long it will take till they decide enough is enough. She is already trying to change things/change processes. lol er.ic is not going to like this. I am going to stay right out of the whole mess. None of my business. I actually feel quite sorry for her to need to resort to such measures to get the acting position so that she can feel better about herself. I am also wondering if she might have some kind of personality disorder. I dont know, i would not really be surprised. Its quite sad really, if she does have a mental disorder that is undiagnosed. But im just guessing.
Yeah, so what have I learnt:
Quite a few things
That you cannot control things/people/situations, you just do your best with the situation and control what you do.
I've learnt how to deal with bullys effectively.
Learnt how to place myself in the another persons shoes so I can see their point of view. Think about how they are feeling.
Learnt better communication skills in general
Learnt i am a stronger women now
I will be going on an interesting communication/interpersonal course for work soon. I'm looking forward to it. There will be a section on conflict management and learning to deal with difficult people.
I am so happy i am down the spiritual path now. Becoming a happier and fullfilled person. It might not have happened, and this is going to sound a bit strange but this might not have happened if it wern't for an old foo.ty team mate who commi.tted sui.cide just over a year ago. I summond up the courage to post a reply to my friends su.icide topic on fac.eboo.k. I opened up to her about myself and... really set me on this road. I think to myself, now what positive has come out of this negative. Well the positive was for me r.i.ley. Thanks ri.ley mate. r.les also lead me to the foo.ty re.uinon too where it all started for me.
I now not only feel in control financially but also feel im becoming in more control of other things in my life. It does take time though, but im glad i have improved tremendously in how i deal with bullys, in how i deal with conflicts at work. There are other areas in my life i want to work on too and that will come in time.
I have had all this on my chest for a while and have wanted to post something here. Finally after what has happened today i was very enthusiastic to make this thread.
If you have read this far:
How have you dealt with workplace bullies? I would love to hear some stories
What kinds of personal development courses have you been on?
Instincts
Co-incidences
to be continued!
I have transformed and grown so much since I went to the Mi.chael Row.land weekend course in April this year. I am so much stronger now. It Covered topics such as mindset, personal development, consciousness, happiness etc etc. I've also been reading thoroughly on the topic and have benefited by reading some of De.epak Ch.opras books too. Have also been reading a lot about Karm.a (learning life.s les.sons) too lately.
I can see such a big improvement in how im dealing with conflicts at work and other work related matters. This time last year a lady who had only been working in my section for a few months was promoted to team leader whilst the regular guy was hurt and missed the entire week. I couldn't handle her constant bullying and her putting me down style. I ended up taking half the week off as sick leave. I ran away from the situation and got a job on another floor for 1 month cos I could'nt handle the fact that she was in charge. I felt devalued not to mentioned bullyed. At that stage all of the managers totally loved her but didnt realise what she was truly like. I didnt realise she was such a mean b***t until she got the leadership position and it was like a light switches on in her head and she acts like a dictator. She also wouldn't listen to any of my input. She had only been in the department for just a few months and was inexperienced in that regard whereas i had been there for 6 years. So that pissed me off too.
After J.ulie had been in our team for 4 months she won a promotion in another team in our area. There are 4 teams. She worked there for 10 months and meanwhile I was working with our new team leader who was appointed. Ju.lies position was re-advertised and she didnt win it so she had to come back to her substantive on my team again and I thought yey thats cool to have her back cos we were the best of friends when she went to the other team. But as soon as she came back she was so distant with me and the team leader Er.ic. Er.ic and I are very close and I'm very supportive of him. I turned the job down because i felt like it would be too much for me and at the time was suffering from depression. I dont want the job 24/7 but i like to do er.ics job whilst he is away sick or on leave. Anyway I came good after about 6 weeks and was enjoying developing this relationship with Er.ic. Meanwhile the guy he beat out for the job was totally negative about the whole thing so much so that they had to move him onto another team cos he was just becoming a very negative and bitter person.
Anyway to get back to the point.... when Jul.ie came back into my team she was so distant and hated the fact that E.ric and i were close and were leading the team. I think she has control issues. She needs to be in charge!! When Er.ic was away i was the team leader and she wouldn't do what i told her to do, made life really difficult. I kept good notes and in the end I made the complaints formal. i had also talked about the problems i was having with her to my supervisor and the managers beforehand too. Turns out lots of other people were complaining about her behaviour too. She gave er.ic and the guy who was helping to train him fe.lix a hard time too.
She had a disciplinary meeting, she was totally distraught from it all. Played the victim, cried and cried. Then one of the managers, the manager that she sucks up to who thinks she is just loooovely tells er.ic that he wants him to give her a go as team leader. I was quite angry when i first heard about this and petrified at the treatment that was awaiting me! This all happened on my holidays too, this turn of events. I also could'nt understand how they could reward her with the acting when she had been such a ****, causing all these problems. Managers told me that they will be keeping a close eye on her. They have been happy with me as 2nd in charge and happy i have been so supportive of my new team leader. In some way i think they think that she will be bought down and that they can say to her then "see you are not capable of doing this job, we gave you a shot at it and you were not suitable" Thats what er.ic my team leader has heard.
Fast forward to today.
Even though I'm not happy with the situation that she is in charge now. I'm so proud of myself in how i acted, and my behaviour. At first i was dreading coming into work this morning. I was tempted to stay home but that thought didnt last long. I dont want to run from the situation. Also didn't want to give her and her cronnies the satisfaction of thinking im bitter and running from the situation.
The whole day there were these subtle putdowns and criticisms but i didnt let them get to me. I didnt get angry, negative upset! I was positive and happy. I reminded myself that this was meant to happen for a reason! She was meant to get the job and that is what the universe was pushing! All is good. I believe that there is a life lesson that needed to be learnt by me. Its to do with karma. This is why i think we keep getting very difficult people in our area. They keep coming thick and fast because they are there to teach me some lessons. These people and there has been 5 including j.ulie are sent to me to help me work out some things. To learn things. I now dont see it as a form of punishment. I look forward to the challenge it brings.
I think that some of the people who are on j.ulies side (she has them wrapped around her finger) they dont know what she is really like cos they sit up the other end of the office and she makes up all these lies so they think she is for real.
Anyway I was happy, the team were happy, we all got along together. She was like a changed person acting as the team leader too. You could see that her ego had been given a boost. Gee she must be an insecure person to have to resort to bullying tactics! She was so happy to be in charge. When i was the 2nd in charge she was really unhappy sulking for the past 2 months. totally un-coperative. I did as she told me to do, unlike the crap i got from her. I did pick my battles though. When she put me down often the best thing to do to the bully is laugh with them, dont show your angry or upset and thats what i did some of the time. Cos see its all a game to them. They are after a reaction from you, to get you really upset!! They thrive off that!! Some other times she put me down I would just ignore and smile. On one occasion though I had to explain and stand up for myself. Cos she could not see the bigger picture to something. Needed to voice my opinion. And even then i did it in a way that i didnt get angry. We didnt fight like we would have in the past. I explained, she talked and then i think she finally got what i was getting at and could see my point of view. I still didnt like the fact that she critized but oh well. She's just a d*** Doesn't matter.
The other thing i forgot to mention. This bit is edited in. She could sense i have become stronger and that im not gonna take any of her s*** anymore. So that was good.
I dont think she will last that long acting as team leader. She has put too many people of side. She had a go at the manager today. I was on the phone didnt catch it all but the manager's voice got quite loud. She also haha went to one of the ladies who was helping us from another team and asked her "why are you so slow at sca.nning? Is there a reason?" omg how funny, how can she say something like that lmao. So she put this lady offside. She answered back that she had some urgent phone calls she had to attend to.
Anyway, I would not do anything to sabotage her efforts like some people might do. I can see that she is slowly digging herself a hole. I just wonder how long it will take till they decide enough is enough. She is already trying to change things/change processes. lol er.ic is not going to like this. I am going to stay right out of the whole mess. None of my business. I actually feel quite sorry for her to need to resort to such measures to get the acting position so that she can feel better about herself. I am also wondering if she might have some kind of personality disorder. I dont know, i would not really be surprised. Its quite sad really, if she does have a mental disorder that is undiagnosed. But im just guessing.
Yeah, so what have I learnt:
Quite a few things
That you cannot control things/people/situations, you just do your best with the situation and control what you do.
I've learnt how to deal with bullys effectively.
Learnt how to place myself in the another persons shoes so I can see their point of view. Think about how they are feeling.
Learnt better communication skills in general
Learnt i am a stronger women now
I will be going on an interesting communication/interpersonal course for work soon. I'm looking forward to it. There will be a section on conflict management and learning to deal with difficult people.
I am so happy i am down the spiritual path now. Becoming a happier and fullfilled person. It might not have happened, and this is going to sound a bit strange but this might not have happened if it wern't for an old foo.ty team mate who commi.tted sui.cide just over a year ago. I summond up the courage to post a reply to my friends su.icide topic on fac.eboo.k. I opened up to her about myself and... really set me on this road. I think to myself, now what positive has come out of this negative. Well the positive was for me r.i.ley. Thanks ri.ley mate. r.les also lead me to the foo.ty re.uinon too where it all started for me.
I now not only feel in control financially but also feel im becoming in more control of other things in my life. It does take time though, but im glad i have improved tremendously in how i deal with bullys, in how i deal with conflicts at work. There are other areas in my life i want to work on too and that will come in time.
I have had all this on my chest for a while and have wanted to post something here. Finally after what has happened today i was very enthusiastic to make this thread.
If you have read this far:
How have you dealt with workplace bullies? I would love to hear some stories
What kinds of personal development courses have you been on?
Instincts
Co-incidences
to be continued!
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