Beautiful People
qazwsx said:
If you werent rich at the time, how did you woooo over your "beautiful friend"
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OK – interesting question. I guess this could get me into more trouble with people than any other question I have answered. So I think it’s going to be another long answer. Again, like everything else I say – this is my strategy and it works for me. I would find it interesting and amusing for any women to comment on my thoughts! Let’s keep it light hearted and fun. (Also we need to take my comments in the context that I am in a long term and committed relationship).
Let me say up front, as much as I like to boost my self-esteem I acknowledge in the modern world I would not be the first pick of most women primarily because of my tendency to be “extra-padded”.
(Yes, but all you thin people will all be laughing on the other side of your face if we ever experience a nuclear winter!
).
My body seems programmed by pre-1960’s views of what a wealthy people should look like! But I do find it a bit tedious people rubbing my tummy for luck.
When I was younger and thinner I was quite handsome and I am sure if I chose to be I could lose weight and so on but for now I am not going down that path.
Because I have mostly wanted meaningful relationships in my life I have obviously required more than looks and money. There is nothing to preclude good looking and rich people from have meaningful and fulfilling relationships but if anybody were only to date / partner / marry based on looks or money then I suggest that a meaningful relationship is not what they are heading for.
If you do want just fun and games with highly attractive people, money is certainly a good way to get it.
I remember one night being in the high rollers room at Star City Casino and getting a lot of attention from a very good looking woman. After cashing in my chips I went back to my Ferrari which was parked “on the ramp” to discover the same gorgeous, long legged, short skirted blond sitting in the passenger seat of the car. When asked who she was her reply was “I am your date for the night, and don’t worry I’ll make it worth your while.” Well, I was 31 and single and thought, “why not?” Dated her for a few months! And it
was worth it!
However, while those type of "transactional relationships" can be easy and fun they are not for me. I am a great believer in true love.
Having said that I am a hypocrite because while I acknowledge there could be some improvement to be made on my physical presentation I do not date “unattractive people” (inside or out). My girlfriends have ranged from attractive to stunning and most have been the envy of every guy who comes into contact with them because of their looks but here’s my winning strategy…
I don’t date them because of their looks per se. I date them for who they are. If they are just attractive and don’t share my values and view on life then there is no point is there?
Believe it or not most beautiful women are rarely approached in any social situation by anybody apart from the most attractive /cocky men (and these guys are often only interested in them because they are attractive) or the most sleazy men. And contrary to popular opinion I have always found beautiful women to give me the time of day as long as I approach them with the genuine interest in getting to know them. Then it’s up to me.
The other thing I have found is that women are highly critical of themselves and each other but rarely critical of men unless they are complete idiots, slobs or wan%#ers. While most have as a fantasy meeting and falling in love with a guy who is rich, smart, handsome and funny, they can be VERY realistic when they think that love is possible. And while you see a lot of attractive women with other gorgeous men (Jennifer Anson and Brad Pitt come to mind) you see HEAPS of good looking women with ugly men.
Generally if I found somebody attractive I would get to know their friends – even for a few minutes or hours – a good referral always works wonders. Once introduced I would then simply adopt the strategy I “learnt” from Michael Hutchence. Kylie Minogue once said in an interview that the reason he was so successful with women was that when they were with him he made them feel like they are the only person in the world.
I learnt the “surface skills” through NLP and other pop-psychology of building rapport on a deep level and then focus intently upon them while at the same time matching my needs and desires to what they say and do (or not) to discover if we “match”.
I look deeply and intently into her eyes. Discover everything I can about what drives her, makes her feel good, boost her self esteem on those things (everybody tells them they are good looking so rarely need to go there), ask broad ranging questions and am happy to listen to the extended answer, never look away, lean in, touch lightly and fulfil any needs I might discover (simple things like seamlessly arranging for drinks, food, walks and so on). I use no formula or standard “lines” preferring to discover her as she is prepared to let me in.
It helps that I have great timing, a sense of occasion or place, can be genuinely funny, am broadly read and know something about most things as a conversation starter and so on. I pay attention to the little things – if I make a promise I deliver. I know most people only ask questions to be polite so keep answers about myself brief and always immediately go back to her. I increase levels of intimacy only at her pace. I include friends where necessary but make sure she knows it is her who I am interested in.
It’s an approach almost impossible to resist. Trust me.
But more importantly this is not something I do to “get chicks” – this is (or at least has become) me. I am genuinely interested in most people who are not bores, close minded or bigots.
And last but certainly not least I ALWAYS try to part friends with ex’s and so I have a fairly “untarnished” reputation in that area too – I have found that girls generally like to know that you are friendly (although not too friendly) with your ex’s. This helps with your “rep” and “referrals”. Two of my long term partners were introduced to me by my ex’s!
So there you go – hardly property related but may be an interesting talking point (or not)?
