I think that this is spot on. Your immediate superior should be handling this, as this is her job, to make a better workplace for you, and the other employees she manages. As Deena has said if there has been no action/ resolution then you could take it higher.
Resigning due to bullying?
- Thread starter wylie
- Start date
I think that this is spot on. Your immediate superior should be handling this, as this is her job, to make a better workplace for you, and the other employees she manages. As Deena has said if there has been no action/ resolution then you could take it higher.
I wouldn't waste my time
Wylie
If she causes too much trouble to you personally just leave and do not drag the negativity into your families life.
No senior person above her in the organisation will handle the situation as you think it should be handled or as Workcover or the company policies say it should be handled IMHO.
Really the only thing you can do is say something to the person who has the problem behaviours to let them know people are talking about their behaviour.
Cheers
Sheryn
Wylie
If she causes too much trouble to you personally just leave and do not drag the negativity into your families life.
No senior person above her in the organisation will handle the situation as you think it should be handled or as Workcover or the company policies say it should be handled IMHO.
Really the only thing you can do is say something to the person who has the problem behaviours to let them know people are talking about their behaviour.
Cheers
Sheryn
If its any help to you Wylie, my husband went through some serious workplace bullying once. He tried dealing with at but then finally left and thank god he did.
Basically our whole family were all stressed to the max every day whilst some very serious bullying went on throughout his whole department. First my husband tried to bear it, then tried to calmly discuss the issue with the boss himself (which made things worse - he got moved to an office that was earmarked for demolition which was started on when he was at a meeting!), then with the silent (read scared) "support" of the rest of the department went to see the guy above. Guy above was sympathetic, but did nothing, said see HR. HR sympathetic but said: we need a formal complaint. Formal complaint was put forward to HR. Then husbands contract magically was not renewed. Subsequently formal complaint "investigated" as per workplace anti-bullying policy which allowed the boss to formally respond, but of course no other underling employees were interviewed (despite some of them demanding to be). A very slanted boss-favouring report resulted which of course warranted no action by the organisation. We felt glad that hubby had tried to do the right thing by standing up to the bully but crushed at the lack of justice. We heard that numerous employees subsequently left.
However, a short time later I was actually asked by same organisation to come and fill a certain much needed skill gap because of a "sudden departure". I first took the job, then told them who my husband was, and then made it my business to make as many vocal and written complaints to as many high level executives as I could on behalf of the people who were still there. After a couple of weeks I resigned with joy leaving them in it, and made sure I documented all the major staff dissatisfaction in the department. We were unemployed for a few weeks (thank god for equity!) but were so much happier without that constant source of stress, and re-employed soon after. I now hear that the boss is finally no longer "the boss" because too many people publicly threatened to leave if he remained but the workplace still sucks.
Bottom line : probably nothing will happen if you make a complaint. But if you are like us you will be glad you did because then you can live with yourself. Real choice might be whether you make the complaint now (whilst still employed) or when you find another job (stating better work location, better hours, you need a new challenge etc) and document the issues to your head office when you resign.
These resources might help you too:
http://www.psychology.org.au/publications/inpsych/workplace_bullying/
http://au.reachout.com/find/articles/workplace-bullying
Its nasty business workplace bullying, and I truly hope you manage to resolve it all soon.
Basically our whole family were all stressed to the max every day whilst some very serious bullying went on throughout his whole department. First my husband tried to bear it, then tried to calmly discuss the issue with the boss himself (which made things worse - he got moved to an office that was earmarked for demolition which was started on when he was at a meeting!), then with the silent (read scared) "support" of the rest of the department went to see the guy above. Guy above was sympathetic, but did nothing, said see HR. HR sympathetic but said: we need a formal complaint. Formal complaint was put forward to HR. Then husbands contract magically was not renewed. Subsequently formal complaint "investigated" as per workplace anti-bullying policy which allowed the boss to formally respond, but of course no other underling employees were interviewed (despite some of them demanding to be). A very slanted boss-favouring report resulted which of course warranted no action by the organisation. We felt glad that hubby had tried to do the right thing by standing up to the bully but crushed at the lack of justice. We heard that numerous employees subsequently left.
However, a short time later I was actually asked by same organisation to come and fill a certain much needed skill gap because of a "sudden departure". I first took the job, then told them who my husband was, and then made it my business to make as many vocal and written complaints to as many high level executives as I could on behalf of the people who were still there. After a couple of weeks I resigned with joy leaving them in it, and made sure I documented all the major staff dissatisfaction in the department. We were unemployed for a few weeks (thank god for equity!) but were so much happier without that constant source of stress, and re-employed soon after. I now hear that the boss is finally no longer "the boss" because too many people publicly threatened to leave if he remained but the workplace still sucks.
Bottom line : probably nothing will happen if you make a complaint. But if you are like us you will be glad you did because then you can live with yourself. Real choice might be whether you make the complaint now (whilst still employed) or when you find another job (stating better work location, better hours, you need a new challenge etc) and document the issues to your head office when you resign.
These resources might help you too:
http://www.psychology.org.au/publications/inpsych/workplace_bullying/
http://au.reachout.com/find/articles/workplace-bullying
Its nasty business workplace bullying, and I truly hope you manage to resolve it all soon.
Sorry to hear about this situation Wylie - all too common.
Macca gave some great advice a couple of pages ago.
If you did decide to approach HR, you can specify that you would like your claim to be anonymous so when they do approach her, they can say 'a complaint has been made about you' instead of 'Wylie has made a complaint about you'. I doubt management would single you out anyway, but just to cover all bases.
I would be extremely careful with telling this person directly or indirectly that she is suffering from a mental disorder - even with your experience with others around you - you're not a profressional (im assuming here) to make that call, and management could deem the credibility of your claim for relying on the mental health card.
Good luck with what you decide - if you are finding that the problem is escalating, and you and your family are suffering, then just leave - you're not responsible for your other colleagues.
Macca gave some great advice a couple of pages ago.
If you did decide to approach HR, you can specify that you would like your claim to be anonymous so when they do approach her, they can say 'a complaint has been made about you' instead of 'Wylie has made a complaint about you'. I doubt management would single you out anyway, but just to cover all bases.
I would be extremely careful with telling this person directly or indirectly that she is suffering from a mental disorder - even with your experience with others around you - you're not a profressional (im assuming here) to make that call, and management could deem the credibility of your claim for relying on the mental health card.
Good luck with what you decide - if you are finding that the problem is escalating, and you and your family are suffering, then just leave - you're not responsible for your other colleagues.
Thanks for the replies since I last reported. I really appreciate that some people do realise this problem is real and can cause real issues, especially for someone who is not in a position to just leave (luckily not a problem for me).
I like my job, I like my immediate boss and the other staff. I've given this a LOT of thought since posting and reading some of the helpful replies.
Warrioress, I would never mention to her or anyone else that I think she has a mental disorder, but I thank you for the advice.
I stood up to her this week when she gave me "the chat" for doing something that I am expected to do (read a newsletter for all staff to read). She approached me while I was reading it and told me I should be reading the newsletters so I know what is happening. I looked at her, looked down at the newsletter and said with obvious annoyance "I'm trying to read it RIGHT NOW." I felt like Basil Fawlty trying to hang up the moose head whilst Sybil keeps interupting him to tell him to hang up the moose head
.Anyway, thank you all for the helpful advice and support.
The most frustrating part for me is that I can come up with a good comeback, but because her outbursts come from so far out of left field, and are usually so unexpected, I am usually lost for words (unusual for me
)By the time I process "what the heck just happened" and get my reply ready, she has moved on to something else or harrassing someone else, or wiping stock off the bench onto the floor, or throwing stock around the stock room. It is one shock after another
. Those few times that she has got something so wrong that I have still been stewing overnight, I have quietly found a time alone with her and put my case. She usually doesn't bite back. I'm sure she is not used to someone doing that very often.
Mostly though, we use laughing about it when she is gone as therapy.
Once I know if she will be around more, I will make a decision. Right now I will just sit tight and see what happens.
I call these type of people "balloon people" they keep on getting away with their bad behaviour and their balloon keeps on getting bigger and bigger and bigger. With the average bully, when someone takes them on and sticks a pin in their balloon they completely change (deflated
). It sounds as though there is no one in your organisation strong enough to stick a pin in her balloon. I am hopeless at sticking pins in balloon people, my husband is great at it, wish I were more like him...
Gee, I have been following this thread and previously posted, but something you said resonated with me Petal.
My immediate boss is a bully, but I only know this from comments made by other people. I think this woman is actually scared of me, because l do not take her crap and rubbish, correct her with the facts when she trys to use her "gift of the gab", I quote policy, and tell her that is not true when she trys to lie her way out of things. I think she also recalls when we were equals and she was so incompetent it was not funny.
But, I am older, more experienced then her and not threatened at all by her.
My immediate boss is a bully, but I only know this from comments made by other people. I think this woman is actually scared of me, because l do not take her crap and rubbish, correct her with the facts when she trys to use her "gift of the gab", I quote policy, and tell her that is not true when she trys to lie her way out of things. I think she also recalls when we were equals and she was so incompetent it was not funny.
But, I am older, more experienced then her and not threatened at all by her.
I'm conscious that some of what she does is simply that she is mad as a cut snake, and I'm not even sure if "bully" covers much of her behaviour. Much of the problem is that she has no idea of how to behave in front of staff or customers, and makes the most inappropriate comments (walking around calling staff "lazy ba$tards" - I could hear her and so could the customers). Calling out to me "you've been robbed, you've been scammed" whilst I'm serving a customer, shouting at another store manager on a phone whilst I am serving customers (take it to a private phone), telling me I shouldn't bother taking time to help a customer find a book if she is only going to spend $10 and then telling us all that our customers should be our first priority .
I get lots of "thank you for helping" and she is all over them like a rash until she has the money in her hand, when she turns her back and walks off before they have moved from the counter. I'm either spending too much time on someone who is not spending enough, or not greeting every customer who comes in the door (something I hate, and which I refuse to do). She wants us to greet up to 1000 people a day (not behind the counter, but actually walk over to each one) whilst being the only one to serve, fill stock, enter orders, answer the phone etc.
She has asked me to change a display, then told me it is terrible and changed it to suit her (mine looked better). Next time she asked me to do it, I told her "whatever I do, you will change it, so it is probably better that you do it" which she happily agreed to. She waltzed in this week, told my boss the store looked "like a dog's breakfast" and organised another store manager to take my shift and fix things up. I went in the next day and it looked different... no better, in fact it was a bit of a disappointment. How disgusting to bring in another manager. What a slap in the face for my manager.
She uses ridicule and humiliation and I don't know one staff member (and I've relieved at a few stores) who think well of her and do not use rolled eyes and veiled comments about her. They are all scared of speaking up, or need their jobs and so she thinks she can get away with anything, and she does.
The three or four times I have stood up for my position or gone back afterwards and tackled "what happened" she has backed down. She is not used to being challenged.
.I get lots of "thank you for helping" and she is all over them like a rash until she has the money in her hand, when she turns her back and walks off before they have moved from the counter. I'm either spending too much time on someone who is not spending enough, or not greeting every customer who comes in the door (something I hate, and which I refuse to do). She wants us to greet up to 1000 people a day (not behind the counter, but actually walk over to each one
) whilst being the only one to serve, fill stock, enter orders, answer the phone etc.She has asked me to change a display, then told me it is terrible and changed it to suit her (mine looked better
). Next time she asked me to do it, I told her "whatever I do, you will change it, so it is probably better that you do it" which she happily agreed to. She waltzed in this week, told my boss the store looked "like a dog's breakfast" and organised another store manager to take my shift and fix things up. I went in the next day and it looked different... no better, in fact it was a bit of a disappointment. How disgusting to bring in another manager. What a slap in the face for my manager.She uses ridicule and humiliation and I don't know one staff member (and I've relieved at a few stores) who think well of her and do not use rolled eyes and veiled comments about her. They are all scared of speaking up, or need their jobs and so she thinks she can get away with anything, and she does.
The three or four times I have stood up for my position or gone back afterwards and tackled "what happened" she has backed down. She is not used to being challenged.
Bombard the 'feedback department' with anonymous complaints about her.
If that doesn't work, resign politely and then let the air out of her tyres. Hang around the carpark in disguise to enjoy watching her suffer.
Or put laxatives in her coffee!
I wish I had this problem at work, love a bit of healthy conflict. Unfortunately we all get along well.
Hope this advice helps
If that doesn't work, resign politely and then let the air out of her tyres. Hang around the carpark in disguise to enjoy watching her suffer.
Or put laxatives in her coffee!
I wish I had this problem at work, love a bit of healthy conflict. Unfortunately we all get along well.
Hope this advice helps
Hi there Wylie, I have worked for someone who behaved almost exactly as you are describing here. She didn't treat me as poorly as she treated most of the staff and I think that was because I stood up to her (in a calm unemotional way) when she was way off the planet and the more reasonable I became the more ridiculous she looked. After a time she pretty much left me alone but that wasn't really a victory as she just did it more to others.
Looking back, I wish I had reported her to someone more senior in the organisation. Whether or not it would have done any good I don't know, but it still doesn't sit right with me that I stood by while she treated others so badly. One day, out of the blue, she announced that she was 'moving on' and that it was her last day. I suspect that she was actually asked to leave but of course I don't know that for sure.
In some ways, if you don't 'need' the job, you are in the perfect position to make a complaint about the behaviour simply because you're not relying on the money. If you do decide to go ahead, I'd do it now rather than when/if you leave simply to avoid any appearance of sour grapes - people like this are amazingly good at twisting things to make themselves look like the victim.
And as others have said, if you do decide to report this to someone higher in the organisation, just the facts, don't offer any opinions or your own interpretations or anything other than objective facts.
Looking back, I wish I had reported her to someone more senior in the organisation. Whether or not it would have done any good I don't know, but it still doesn't sit right with me that I stood by while she treated others so badly. One day, out of the blue, she announced that she was 'moving on' and that it was her last day. I suspect that she was actually asked to leave but of course I don't know that for sure.
In some ways, if you don't 'need' the job, you are in the perfect position to make a complaint about the behaviour simply because you're not relying on the money. If you do decide to go ahead, I'd do it now rather than when/if you leave simply to avoid any appearance of sour grapes - people like this are amazingly good at twisting things to make themselves look like the victim.
And as others have said, if you do decide to report this to someone higher in the organisation, just the facts, don't offer any opinions or your own interpretations or anything other than objective facts.
Yes... and yes. But I'm in a much better head space. I declined perm part time work so my shifts were cut right back and I'm now working the sort of hours per week that I prefer, and I hardly see the bully. I was just saying to hubby today that I enjoy the work, enjoy the customers and like the others that I work with when I work weekends, but weekday shifts are less enjoyable because my immediate boss hates her job and hates the crap coming from above, so losing the week days and working Thursday nights and the weekends is a totally different vibe to the week days.
I'm still amazed at the antics of those above me, those who "apparently" care about how customers are treated, but who do some things that I cringe at, and that customers also cringe at. If it was my business, I would be sacking the bosses
.The minute I feel I've had enough, I'm out of there, but I'm enjoying less hours, more time for hubby and me at home. Just as well too as we have a renovation coming up just after Christmas.
I like it because it gives me some income, but mostly because it gets me out of the house, out of my trackies and forces me to socialise. If I stopped working there I would probably look for something else, so best to stick to the "devil I know".
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