Rudd Government looking for new ministers - apply within!

Dear Sir/Madam or otherwise,

I would like to apply for the position of Senior Minister recently advertised on Somersoft.

Firstly let me commend you on your choice of media for advertising this important position. You are obviously in tune with the changing attitudes within the community and the importance it now places on property as part of the overall stimulation of the Australian Economy, further referred to as AE.

Secondly may I say that it refreshing to see such a concise and accurate job description. This will save time when working through the chaff that all too often clogs one's inbox. The benefit of the current government and it's education revolution is that what goes around comes around, and the cistern (sic) ensures that there will always be suitably qualified douchebags waiting in the wings.

Having said this let me say that there are few douchebags who can exceed the lofty heights I have scaled in order to ensure equality for all while maintaining a return on the dollar. Not certain that return on investment is the most important measure of the suck ses (lucky ses) of a project?

Indeed although my projects have not necessarily reached the planned conclusion I have due to foresight (read smoke & mirrors with a slight chance of rain) ensured that the expected result has been cloaked in enough mumbo jumbo to ensure that by the end, the beginning is no longer clear.

This lack of clarity has allowed all projects to be considered successful and ensure good value in PR returns. This is the return on the dollar for which I make claim, but I'm sure such a refined and intellegent person as yourself would have understood my meaning from the start.

By investing in me ie: making me a minister, I promise to ensure that with all diligence I will uphold the rights of all stakeholders to reserve the matter in regard to the conclusion for which I have been engaged and to make all things come to pass as one would expect of a minister and in so doing will at all times ensure clear and precise communication leading to greater and more meaningful discussion, to remove the risk of an impasse during social intercourse.

The removal of barriers to understanding and a harmonious result is, in my opinion the most important role of a minister. Can I here an amen?

You are a great and mighty person, for what can be greater than being a servant to all, while remaining a doormat to none. I hereby beseech you lord to consider this application in the context of your will.

By the way in the interest of diversity I will advise that I have 7 of the 10 attributes to be considered indispensable to any government.

In all humility, your greatest fan.

Dear Sir,

Whilst the aforementioned applicant is able to couch his application with pretty words and suitable mumbo jumbo, I wish to apply based on the fact that I am a member of 15 unions, and getting to be secretary of each.
I am capable of spending large sums of OPM without considering the consequences of each move, and once I have done this we can then increase taxes, blame the liberals and the greens and retire from politics on a mega pension so we never have to work again


ps. If you make me an important minister I also get free air travel everywhere!!!:p, and I can insulate your house!!
I've been the elected 'Minister of War' in my household for years now.

Even with my experience, like Nathan, I'd rather sever my limbs before thinking of joining the Labor party :p.
That description would fit for either Labor or Liberal. Two Head, One Party system. Anyone that thinks there are any fundamental differences between the two has their head in the clouds.
Not hard to see this is a joke amongst some BUT the comments willingness to kill/ eat orphans has no place on this forums and definitely in bad taste.

Mods or OP please edit.
Probably because most journos don't want to be barred from attending future press conferences or private venues where the pollies are speaking.

Well, Costello gets it.

"The old Garrett was great at lecturing on public morality: "How can you sleep when the beds are burning?" The old Garrett would have excoriated the present Garrett for behaviour like this."