Seven habits of chronically happy people

[lizzie]

Actually - the title is "seven habits of chronically unhappy people" ... but as a chronically "happy" person I read the article the other way around.

In light of some of the conversations going on in SS world ... I thought this might be timely ... enjoy ...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tamara-star/7-habit-of-chronically-unhappy-people_b_6174000.html

 

[D.T.]

Ah, that explains it. I thought that chronically happy was an unusual title

Most of those items in the article refer to outlook/optimism though, so not really anything new?

IMHO:
- Take ownership/responsibility for your own destiny
- Don't compare to others / run your own race

 

[TMNT]

I could safely say that if I was dumber and unmotivated in life, id be far happier, I would be content working a simple job and enjoying the simple pleasures in life, which for me are good cheap food, friends, socialising,

however since im not the above, I like (would like) fast cars, overseas holidays, fine dining, the odd expensive gadget, and I want to have financial freedom, I am less happy then the above.......

damned if you do, damned if you dont

 

[D.T.]

Sounds to me like you need to smell the roses, TMNT

 

[BayView]

I could safely say that if I was dumber and unmotivated in life, id be far happier, I would be content working a simple job and enjoying the simple pleasures in life, which for me are good cheap food, friends, socialising,

however since im not the above, I like (would like) fast cars, overseas holidays, fine dining, the odd expensive gadget, and I want to have financial freedom, I am less happy then the above.......

damned if you do, damned if you dont

LOL! (or maybe should be tears?)

Ditto for me!!

 

[BayView]

Sounds to me like you need to smell the roses, TMNT

We do; it's just that we want to drive the Lambo across Europe to get to where the flowers are and smell them there whilst drinking finest wines and women, then go out to sloth around in the 50 footer on the Bay..

 

[TMNT]

Sounds to me like you need to smell the roses, TMNT

I always quote this famous story, puts things into perspective




An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, ?only a little while. The American then asked why didn?t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family?s immediate needs. The American then asked, ?but what do you do with the rest of your time??

The Mexican fisherman said, ?I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.? The American scoffed, ?I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.?

The Mexican fisherman asked, ?But, how long will this all take??

To which the American replied, ?15 ? 20 years.?

?But what then?? Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, ?That?s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!?

?Millions ? then what??

The American said, ?Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.?

 

[perthguy]

I don't agree with some of that. E.g. I don't "trust" people I don't know. That is not the same as thinking they are out to get me. I'm generally open and friendly towards people I meet but that doesn't mean that I will trust them. Trust is built up over time. It doesn't mean that I think they are out to get me either. They mostly aren't ;-)

I wouldn't consider myself excessively happy but I only scored 1 out of 7 qualities of chronically unhappy people.

 

[Xenia IM]

I agree Lizzy being unhappy is self induced through thought patterns and can be reversed by different thought patterns.

Well done for reversing the title, I would have turned it on it's head and written it towards being happy rather than the opposite too.

Thanks for posting it X

 

[Bargain Hunter]

Someone who smiles in the face of chaos has already found a scapegoat.

 

[Xenia IM]

Someone who smiles in the face of chaos has already found a scapegoat.

yes indeed

 

[lizzie]

Ah - but that would be you comparing yourself to others ...

I could safely say that if I was dumber and unmotivated in life, id be far happier, I would be content working a simple job and enjoying the simple pleasures in life, which for me are good cheap food, friends, socialising,

however since im not the above, I like (would like) fast cars, overseas holidays, fine dining, the odd expensive gadget, and I want to have financial freedom, I am less happy then the above.......

damned if you do, damned if you dont

 

[lizzie]

I think you underestimate yourself in the "trust" option.

I think happy people inherently "trust" others ... doesn't mean we'd let them have free rein with our money or the upbringing of our kids ... but it means there is a basis to believing they will do what they say they will do.

Perfect example yesterday ... I received an order of ingredients and one item was missing - although it was listed on the enclosed invoice. I rang the company to inquire (not complain) ... now, to the guy on the other end he could've mistrusted me and thought I was lying about the item missing and was trying to rip him off ... I could've mistrusted him thinking he was trying to rip me off by not including the item ... but we immediately trusted each other (despite never talking before and never meeting) and it turns out - after he did some paperwork digging - that because the delivery was over 20kg, the missing item had to be sent separately.

There are differing levels of trust ... in that example we both came from the angle of trust rather than immediately leaping in and assuming the other was trying to rip us off (mistrust).

Other people - who I've know for a long time - I'd trust to take my kids on holidays or pay me back any monies they owe

I don't agree with some of that. E.g. I don't "trust" people I don't know. That is not the same as thinking they are out to get me. I'm generally open and friendly towards people I meet but that doesn't mean that I will trust them. Trust is built up over time. It doesn't mean that I think they are out to get me either. They mostly aren't ;-)

I wouldn't consider myself excessively happy but I only scored 1 out of 7 qualities of chronically unhappy people.

 

[CHAOS]

Hi Lizzie

Trust would have been him sending you out the missing item before 'he did some paperwork digging'.

 

[lizzie]

Hi Lizzie

Trust would have been him sending you out the missing item before 'he did some paperwork digging'.

Well - I don't agree with that ... but then again, I was having the conversation with the bloke whilst he was looking ... he was just as concerned as I was that it hadn't arrived, and wanted to check it hadn't been sent separately (as it was).

There was no hint of misgivings on either side ... just doing good business.

Other - perhaps more simple examples - would be going out to work functions and striking up a friendly conversation with a random stranger ... without expecting them to judge or attack you.

The trust item is simply the initial trusting of others to be good people from the start - until proven otherwise.

 

[CHAOS]

You were in the conversation not I so your experience is correct, I have obviously misunderstood the information you gave. I am glad it was pleasantly sorted.

 

[property_girl]

In light of some of the conversations going on in SS world ... I thought this might be timely ... enjoy ...

]

I think Xenia is right: it's all about your thoughts. But people go through highs and they go through lows. You can't be up all the time. My friends are free to cry on my shoulder and be negative about whatever it is. Sometimes people just need to be heard or need to let it out, whether it's to a friend or on SS.

Some people are genetically wired to be more 'up' than others. Some people have had some hard knocks in life and it's hard for them to get back up. I don't expect people with life difficulties to be 'happy'.

 

[MTR]

I don't agree with some of that. E.g. I don't "trust" people I don't know. That is not the same as thinking they are out to get me. I'm generally open and friendly towards people I meet but that doesn't mean that I will trust them. Trust is built up over time. It doesn't mean that I think they are out to get me either. They mostly aren't ;-)

I wouldn't consider myself excessively happy but I only scored 1 out of 7 qualities of chronically unhappy people.

Me too scored the same wont ask which one.
Now I can sleep at night knowing I am close to being blissfully happy

 

[Xenia IM]

I agree PG, I think happiness is about being a real person.
It's about expressing the appropriate present time emotions for a given situation.

You can cry when a pet dies.
You can get angry and express it when someone tries to take something from you.

You can laugh when something is funny.
You can get scared in the face of real and immediate danger.

Taking action on life circumstances in the appropriate manner makes you happy because you are handling life.

Handling life circumstances in present time then moving on is the key to happiness.

Holding onto things in the past, hating someone 15 years after a divorce, projecting verbal violence and control issues on every woman because you have never dealt with maternal issues as a child, inventing things to be scared about, someone is going to come and try to scam you or being angry at people's view points that you have no control over, is all out or present time behavior - it's defined with logic but totally INSANE and this is the stuff that keeps people unhappy.

People who produce these insane behaviors will always find ways to justify them and will require social support - because they are ego based and therefore untrue - they can be threatened and need to always back up that insane view point. Those insanities never end, if you get hooked into an argument of a disconnected person, you will always be wrong as the behaviour takes control and gets confused with self worth - it's all ego based- disconnect and move on or you will become part of it.

The truth does not ever need to be justified and cannot be threatened by lies - this is the only place you can find happiness.