Teenagers, Piercing and Tattoos

[Spades]

Let your teenage children make their own choices. This is how they both learn and grow.

Get back to me when you have teenagers and let me know how you coped with your children learning to grow.Zen is not enough!

MTR-Imo appropriate piercings are ok,let them get a tatt at 18 if they still wish to do.IF there goin to get a tatt at 18,maybe at least get something that means somethings not your average skull n bones etc etc.

 

[Sheryn]

I agree with your post but I'm curious to know how long you held off on shaving your legs?

Think I was about 40 odd and my daughter shaved and waxed my legs, probably only shaved my legs about 6 - 7 times over the years but I do shave under my arms redwing!

Never really worried me.

 

[Indifference]

Hi All
What would you do??

.........


........

Here is what I actually do, with my 16 yo... I say:

"My role as a parent is to provide guidance, nourishment and opportunity for you to grow into a a well rounded individual, capable of making independent & sound decisions. At your current age, our society recognises that my job is not yet complete and therefore I still have legal responsibility for you. Accordingly, when decisions require parental consent because the activities are deemed to be of an adult nature, like getting a tattoo for instance, then clearly, you should respect & accept my decisions on your behalf, just like you accept the nourishment I provide, mobile phone you must have and trendy clothes you can not live without. So, in order to avoid a decision we may both grow to regret, I say not yet.... not never, just not yet..."

 

[Spades]

Hiya Indifference,
Do you hang a mantra on the door or wall of there bedroom?
Cheers spades.

 

[geoffw]

I abhor them. This is perhaps because, as an older person, I associate them with Boganville.

However both daughters have had them. At least they are small- so far. I would recommend to them that they leave them in areas which are not really visible during job interviews etc.

 

[JamesGG]

This thread reminds me of Simon's dreadlocks poll from a few weeks ago.

Those little old ladies with tattoos that someone linked to earlier; they look much more interesting than most little old ladies. Bet they'd have some great stories to tell.

 

[Scott No Mates]

Oh no! I am a baaaaaaaad parent. We took our daughter down to the piercer yesterday and she had her ears pierced (only one set, simple studs). Oh, she's not quite 9.

We went to Oz Wildlife Zoo today, one of the keepers had several piercings + tatts, nice guy but my daughter was happy with her solitary piercings.

 

[luckyone]

I'm with Geoff, I've always associated tattoos with "westies" (as we called them in Sydney). I absolutely would never get them. I can think of plenty of better ways of remembering someone. I always thought with my sister's tattoo that she got on her stomach that it would look horrid if she ever got pregnant. Well she's had three kids and let me tell you it ain't pretty! (And no, she's not fat, just the usual leftover skin from being pregnant)

 

[jacko18]

Seems to be the dominant attitude for just about everything and everyone in society nowadays.

A great pity.

A great pity
I thought I had a good attitude just got it as a memorial for somebody that did everything for me ill stop on the subject

 

[INVSTOR]

My 14 year old daughter isn't interested in piercings and tattoo's. I'm one of the few mum's at school without a tattoo. My sisters have tattoo's and I don't really like them so my kids have seen them from a young age and share the same thoughts. My daughter also doesn't think much of spacers or belly button rings. My sister has a huge scar from not taking belly button ring out while pregnant so maybe that contributes to her thoughts about them. My neighbour that my daughter doesn't get on with, the same age as my daughter, has a spacer so I think that has confirmed her feelings towards them also.

 

[schweedy]

I have a 'Not under my roof' policy for lots of things, tattoos, peircings (apart from 2 each ear) and plugs/stretchers are all for when they are out on their own and paying their own way.

The two oldest have moved out of home and both have had tatts and son has plugs....am so lookiing forward to teasing him about those in decades to come...lol

I have a tattoo, that I didn't get until my mid twenties.....so I'm not totally against them, just didn't want kids bludging off me while they designed their next skin sculpture.....

 

[geoffw]

A question. How much do they cost? Say per square cm for something of good quality.

 

[INVSTOR]

My daughter wanted to dye her hair a few years ago. I said she had to wait until she was 16. Now she is glad she hasn't dyed her hair. Sometimes hairdressers and students comment that she has nice hair and she realises now that her natural colour is OK and that dying it damages it. I would do the same if she wanted tattoo's or more piercings than her one set in ears.

 

[pinkboy]

A question. How much do they cost? Say per square cm for something of good quality.

Piercings are between $40 and $100 depending where you get them done!

Pain isn't optional - its mandatory! I like the rush!

Not sure on tattoos, but Im thinking more hourly rate + ink, or set prices for set designs.


pinkboy

 

[Richard Feynman]

Do you have teens?

It all depends who their role models are as all behaviours are learned.

So don't YOU what to be that guide and influence for your children? If you aren't someone else will be.

No, but I was one.

It's a responsibility of a parent to guide their children - naturally. However, there's a stark difference between guidance and imposition. We are talking matters of aesthetics (as opposed to say health, morality) here.

Why not explain the pros and cons of the potential decision. That most people DO judge based on appearance, that many professions will be off-limits etc etc and let your young adult make an informed choice?

 

[wylie]

It's a responsibility of a parent to guide their children ? naturally. However, there's a stark difference between guidance and imposition. We are talking matters of aesthetics (as opposed to say health, morality) here.

Why not explain the pros and cons of the potential decision. That most people DO judge based on appearance, that many professions will be off-limits etc etc and let your young adult make an informed choice?

That sounds very Brady Bunch and we were lucky that our three boys, whilst happy to butt heads with us over plenty of things, were not wanting tattoos, piercings, drugs or alcohol. They did see what drugs and alcohol abuse did to my oldest brother, and witnessed the pain and grief this caused to my mother and how the fallout affected us all. I think this had a huge part in them not drinking or smoking and none of them are interested in drugs.

I made sure I gave them regular "look what can happen if you touch these things" and more particularly I believe my often repeated warnings that with mental health and addiction issues of my brother and hubby's sister, the chances are stacked against them being able to experiment without big risks of permanent damage.

So, I agree that parents guide their kids in many things, but I also am very aware of other "normal" families with seemingly not much control over what their headstrong teenagers think they "should" be able to do. I also know that whilst three of us were all brought up with the same rules and boundaries, my older brother completely ignored all this, hit the drugs and alcohol... and there is very little a parent can do. You cannot lock your teenager up if they don't behave.

My kids (actually... anybody at all) can see within 30 seconds of meeting this oldest brother that he is badly damaged, crazy eyes. This damage is permanent. He is a pathetic shell of a man with feelings of superiority not backed up by anything at all.

 

[BayView]

A question. How much do they cost? Say per square cm for something of good quality.

My SIL was $100 per hour for tattoos.

Her bos (the business owner) charged $120.

Cash only.

They were both booked out 6 and more months in advance.

And folk whine about their car service hourly rate.

FFS, get a priority order in yer life you idiots..

 

[BayView]

No, but I was one.

It's a responsibility of a parent to guide their children ? naturally. However, there's a stark difference between guidance and imposition. We are talking matters of aesthetics (as opposed to say health, morality) here.

Why not explain the pros and cons of the potential decision. That most people DO judge based on appearance, that many professions will be off-limits etc etc and let your young adult make an informed choice?

I agree with this, Rich.

I think an explanation and guidance is more likely to be effective than a straight out "you will not".

Kids respond better to "I don't want you to do this because of XYZ factors and ramifications."

Kids are smarter than we think, and the fact that a parent is taking the time to be interested and engaged with their kids makes a difference to their decision making and information absorption.

Some kids will do these things no matter what, and we can't stop them, really.

 

[GreenMedallion]

I don't have any tattoos personally although I don't think there is anything wrong with them if they are tasteful and in a location that won't draw a large amount of attention to it (e.g. face/neck/hands).

 

[Ideo]

Live and let live.

I don't want tattoos, don't have any, don't have any desire to get any. But nor am I going to judge someone for having a few. Obvious exception being tattoos on the face etc.

I've employed/worked with very good professionals on 100k+ who have had a couple of tattoos. It hasn't affected how they do their job in the slightest.

The best consultant I have ever worked with in terms of delivery vs promise had tattoos on his neck, stretchers in both lobes and lip piercings. He was a skate park designer, but even so, he was a consummate professional who did a great job.