The Hardest Post I’ve Ever Had To Write

Your post just gave me goosebumps Ruby, such a truely deep and sad loss. Your pain is echoed in your words.

So so sorry to hear. My sincere condolences to you and your family.

If one thing will help it will be time & memories. Hold both close.

I'm 24 now but when i was 21 my Dad began the fight and sadly left us a year after that. I miss him everyday but it does get easier.

Reflect often and use those closest memories.
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Ruby and Nev,

Even though we only knew Matt in passing, his courage and optimism are an insperation, as is yours.

Deb and I are thinking of you and your family.
Sadest of News

Ruby and Neville,

The love and strength you have shown during Matt's oredeal over the last few years has been extraordinary.

We can only begin to imagine what you both have been through... with every positive step
soon to be followed by another complication or setback.

It was hard enough hearing about it, but you both have to live through it, always hopeful, always positive. Matt couldn't have asked for better parents had he have them made to order.
The fact that Matt held that positive attitude and a smile on his face only re-enforces the mutual love and affection that is shared within you family.

Our thoughts have been, and will continue to be with you both,
May Matt rest peacefullly and continue to shine in you life.

Take care
My sincere condolences Ruby. To lose a loved one is hard, but to lose a child is a tragedy. My thoughts are with you.
hi ruby
my mother went with cancer and hers took about three months so very quick but as irish catholics
we believe that the person has not gone forever.
they have gone to a better place and will meet with you again.
so unlike sadness we celibrate our time with the person and look forward to our meeting again.
similar to a person going a plane trip and waiting for there return
or in my case the time I will be reunited with the people gone before.
if you do ever get to go to a wake you will see the difference.
my condolences to you and your family.
a loss so young is very upsetting.

As a mum to another mum my heart breaks for you and your family. I don't even know what to say except to say that tears are rolling down my cheeks right now for the lose of someone i don't even know.

Its a realisation that we need to appreciate the special people in our lives and treat them in a way that if you walked out the door and that was the last time you saw them that those last moments were ones of love and not harsh words.

My thoughts are with you and your family.
I started reading your story today and started to cry (which is really quite embarrassing in an open plan office)...I really like that you put the picture of Matt, it is a great photo..

My deepest, deepest sympathy and condolences to you and your family.
Commiserations to Nev and you Ruby...

I trust you move through this period of mourning as harmoniously as possible, and gain reassuring insight during moments of quiet reflection.

I am sure Matt would want nothing more for you and Nev, then to contnue on, living life as richly, as fully, with as much passion, as possible, never wasting a moment.......just as he did...
For the forum members

This has been happening for quite a long time now. Ruby has been bearing up with all the ups and downs (mostly downs I guess) for quite a while now. It's been at least two years AFAIK. Probably longer.

During that time, there have been, of course, many times of despair, and some times of optimism.

Her strength in coming back in here and contributing has been amazing.

Her contributions have not always been very obvious. There have been a lot of discussions privately, about the way the forum is running. But her contributions have always been sensible and balanced in a sea of chaos around what has been happening.

She has often paid tribute to Matt for the way in which he has dealt with the poor hand he received in the game of life.

And she has been thankful to the forum for a way of getting a touch of normality away from whatever else has been happening.

Ruby, I have never dealt with a loss like yours. But when I have lost a friend or someone close, I found that the people who kept focus on the good memories, who reminded me of all the great things about that person, were the people who helped me most.
My deepest sympathies

Dear Ruby

I am so sorry for your family's loss at this time.

My best friend lost both a brother and a sister from her family of 5 children. While her brother died as a toddler (and before I knew the family), her sister died as a teenager and as part of her extended family I can vividly remember the anguish that the family experience which often manifested in so many different ways. While Kate has been gone now for 20 years I vividly recall a conversation when I asked my friends mother how she handled loosing not one, but two children; her answer was quick and indicative of the type of person she was! " I know where my children are! Many parents never know what happened to their kids" She took solace that, even in her despair, she knew what happened to her children and could lay them to rest, when some parents have terrible things happen to their children or have them taken suddenly and/or never see them again.

I hope that even in your dark hours Ruby that you can cling to the memories of being one of the unlucky, but lucky ones, which were able to say all the things you wanted to say and have them said back to you. You have to cling to any fragment of consolation you can offer yourself!

I also hope that no-one ever feels uncomfortable talking about your son with you. My friend's family always talk about Kate and what she did, but it was amazing how uncomfortable many people were with this, especially after the first couple of months.

Anyhow I don't know if other people's stories help or not and I certainly don't mean to diminish your suffering by saying it could be worse, I wish you and your family every sympathy at this time.
but it was amazing how uncomfortable many people were with this, especially after the first couple of months.
This is so true and in my opinion so unfortunate (although I sort of understand peoples apprehension on this matter).

Having lost a daughter and father, I know how much talking to those around me helped with the grieving process.

Ruby, you know my thoughts are with you and your family at this truly sad time.

It's already obvious that you have drawn courage, strength, spirit and determination from Matt, and this will continue throughout the coming years I'm sure.

They say that the good go young, still doesn't seem fair though eh.

My thoughts are with you and your family Ruby.

I wish you never had to go through this.. i wish noone ever had to go through loss.
Dear Ruby

My deepest condolences to you and your family. No one should have to go through this and yet we do, and survive. How lucky Matt was to have a loving family like yours.