What is a NORMAL lunch for a young lad?

[wylie]

I have a question for those with older kids (maybe ten to 20 years old).

My youngest has just turned 14 and is really giving me the pips with his idea that lunch during the holidays and weekends during school should be something like - a KFC burger, a hot chicken and chips - you get the idea.

Our lunches here would be something like - grilled ham, cheese and tomato open sandwich, ham and salad sandwich, avocado on toast - that type of thing. That is if hubby or I make something.

We often tell the boys to "find something yourself" because there is always SOMETHING to eat in the house, and we want to force our boys to make some sort of effort themselves. (Oldest son doesn't eat if there is not a hot burger or meal ready to sit down to, so I have given up with him. At 21, he can work it out himself, cook something, make something or go hungry for all I care.)

The 14 year old is really pushing things. Apparently EVERYONE ELSE has really NICE lunches. When I ask him what they are, he has no answer for me.

I told him recently that plenty of kids had a vegemite, peanut paste, Nutella or similar sandwich and were perfectly happy. He is turning into a fussy boy and I am coping with enough stress right now without this added to it.

What is a "normal" lunch?

 

[rugrat]

"Tell him, he's dreamin' "

Seriously! At fourteen years old, most kids are getting their own lunch and not getting mummy to do it for them.

Not I don't have teenagers myself, but it wasn't that long since I was one and I have teenage siblings still living at home with mum and dad. He's just harrassing you because that's what kids do (teenagers in particular), but don't give him. Maybe give hime some homework - tell him to do the math on how much it would cost to feed him a 'nice' lunch everyday in the holidays, and then to figure out what he is going to do to cover this cost.

 

[moyjos]

LOL Wylie.. I can relate.
When dear son (now 25) was at home he would simply open the fridge door and inhale food!! When he left home at 17 our grocery bill (me, hubby and then 15 yo daughter and him) HALVED.

I used to fill him up with pasta. 2 minute noodles featured pretty strongly in his diet. OR Try keeping a big pot of spag bol in the fridge that they just have to scoop out and heat in the microvave. (You can hide lots of vege in there too ) or a pile of cooked sausages that gets chucked on a bit of bread or hot dog bun.

IMHO boys of that age will not cook for them selves. Making a sandwich can often be too hard!! So make it easy for them to have "better" food choices and they will go for it.

Good Luck... (keep in mind they WILL leave home!!!)

 

[skater]

Mine was a vegemite sandwich yesterday. I felt special because someone else made it.

I know what you mean though with the kids. The eldest will rarely eat anything at home. KFC, McDonalds, Red Rooster etc are all her friends.

Lil, on the other hand will often not eat lunch if I'm making sandwiches, because "I'm not hungry yet", then later when we are out will want to stop for McDonalds for lunch. She will eat dinner with us, if she is at home.

I am hoping for her own financial benefit that she start to take sandwiches for lunch at work as well as when she is at home. I am not sure she really understands how much a strain these repeated small purchases can put on a low income. Moving out soon, she is going to have a rude awakening.

 

[wylie]

"Tell him, he's dreamin' "

Seriously! At fourteen years old, most kids are getting their own lunch and not getting mummy to do it for them.

I agree, and as I said, many times this is exactly what happens. However, often, lunch is a meal where hubby or I (or both) make something for us all because everyone is home and perhaps we have bought a hot chicken and we either make a "meal" of it and all sit down, or we plonk the chicken on the table and we make our own.

It is not a case of "mummy making him lunch".

However, if there is not a hot chicken or similar he decides there is "nothing to eat". It is driving me nuts.

I am just trying to gauge where his expectations about what lunch should be are coming from. I believe our lunches are pretty "normal" and was wondering what other families have for lunch during the holidays and weekends.

Believe me, he is learning all the time that it is time he started being a little more self-sufficient. But he opens the (full) pantry and says "there is nothing to eat here". He is lazy when it comes to making food (but a great kid, don't get me wrong). It is like first born all over again (pulling hair out!!!).

Middle boy finds something to eat and doesn't complain, never has. First and last born are just different altogether.

We tried the same thing on first born, forcing him to make something. Instead, he doesn't eat. That is his problem.

 

[The Y-man]

Ok, my culinary skills in the kitchen started at instant noodles - but I think that still beats going and buying maccas or KFC (at least you can add stuff), and show you how the stove works!

How about:

Pasta (even if you start with some mince and a jar of pasta sauce)

Taco

Home made pizza (ok, making the dough can be tough for beginners - so start with flat bread)

Stirfry veg/noodles

At the end of the day, I reckon a lamb chop on the BBQ would still be a better bet than fast food outlets.

Cheers,

The Y-man

 

[The Y-man]

However, if there is not a hot chicken or similar he decides there is "nothing to eat". It is driving me nuts.

Reheated leftovers are pretty standard lunch fare I reckon!

Cheers,

The Y-man

 

[rugrat]

Wylie - Sorry, didn't mean to sound like I was having a go at you or yours. Just more laughing in general about how teenagers (all kids honestly) always try to pull the "but mum, everyone else..." card. My sisters do it to my parents all the time, and my 4yr old tried to pull that one on me on sunday - telling me "but mum, Beau >her cousin< gets lollies of aunty Jessie".

 

[bespoke]

Does he get pocket money? If so I'd be saying to him "yeh, sure you can have KFC, burgers or whatever but you'll have to use your money. Might make him think getting a toasted sandwich at home not so bad after all.

If we are at home we just have sandwiches (lots of ham sangas over Christmas) or left overs from the night before.

 

[WinstonWolfe]

Wylie you have to decide what values your kids live by - those of their LCD zero impulse control peers, or the wisdom you have acquired in your longer existence on planet earth.

Appetites are in general a conditioned reflex. If you let kids take sweetened cereals and high fat fast foods, and you add unstructured downtime with vague or zero goals and shared responsibility for household chores and meal prep, then they are more susceptible to impulse eating and appetite.

I've got two step kids who had a little too much unstructured time and free choice before I came along (lost their father when 8 and 10). Left to their own devices, they'd serve themselves up heaps of meat and starch, and the only veg would be what was put in a casserole or meat dish. They'd also hit the peanut paste and honey sandwiches before touching healthier staples. And probably ate 3 pieces of fruit a week.

Here's the changes that I've successfully introduced:
- in this hotter weather, a salad is made for every dinner. the boys have to cover half their plate with salad, qtr with starch and 100-200g of protein/meat.
- 2nds (more starch or meat) is only allowed after the salad is gone.
- initially the boys wanted to smother the salad in Paul Newman dressings or similar. they have progressively cut back on that as their taste buds have returned to normal.
- we always make more than enough salad for leftovers. these are used for lunches the following day..... wraps, sandwiches, or plate. We put a plastic lattice thing in the bottom of the salad bowl and cover it and this keeps the salad ingredients fresh in the fridge for 24 hours. We also add new ingredients as needed. A fruit like sliced apple, mango, and nectarines are included in salad.

Breakfast on week days includes diced fruit, yogurt, and low sugar cereals with minimal fibre removed (weet-bix, vita brits, puffed wheat or corn or rice, shredded wheat, quinoa, rolled oats). Weekends can include pancakes (made from oatmeal) or a cooked breakky.

My daily goals for the boys are the following:
- at least 2 pieces of fruit
- at least 5 cups of steamed vege or salad
- higher fibre starches
- lower fat protein sources (lean cuts, fish 1-2 /wk, cottage and ricotta cheese, conservative use of processed cheeses)
- they cook dinner once each week.

If they achieve the above at meal time, I don't care if they eat a bit of junk at other times (chocolate, crisps, etc).

Now here's the thing. When I tried to introduce these changes, they thought it was gay, and complained about xyz. But within 4 weeks, they were volunteering to eat more salad and less fatty food. Their taste buds and blood sugar was returning to normal without them realizing.

Not only that, they had both been on expensive lotions and antibiotics for acne for over a year with little to no change. As they let the peanut paste and other high fat foods go, their skin improved dramatically. When they slip and eat more fat and starch and less salad and fruit, their skin flares. BTW, you won't get a GP who will say overtly that diet influences acne, but I confirmed this is the case with one of Qld's high profile dietitians.

The other positive changes I attribute to their diet change is they are less impulse driven, they can concentrate for longer, and they now rarely snack on junk or sweets, and both have lost fat around the waist. Mind you, we control what is in the house....and have a push up and chin up competition running....and their internet access gets blocked at 10.30pm.

When attempting to get someone back to healthy eating, they will resist and complain, but you just have to persevere. Eventually their physiology returns to homeostasis, and the benefits are priceless.

Onwards and Upwards.

 

[Alabex]

i dont have kids but find that my hubby needs so much food to fill him up so i can sympathise with the cost of the food!

just some ideas....

What about having some sausages or meat patties available for him to bbq and make his own burger. Alot healthy than KFc and Maccas, its hot and should fillt hem up.

Over christmas i was regularly making large salads and leaving them in the fridge for the next day so that they could be added to the lunches.

Suggest that once a week he can have a takeaway lunch of his choosing, but other days he has to eat at home.

 

[Lil Skater]

Lil, on the other hand will often not eat lunch if I'm making sandwiches, because "I'm not hungry yet", then later when we are out will want to stop for McDonalds for lunch. She will eat dinner with us, if she is at home.

I am hoping for her own financial benefit that she start to take sandwiches for lunch at work as well as when she is at home. I am not sure she really understands how much a strain these repeated small purchases can put on a low income. Moving out soon, she is going to have a rude awakening.

I don't mind healthier stuff, give me sushi any day yum, i also like salads, but i'm too lazy to prepare the things haha.

Also my problem is the lack of FRESH bread in this house for sandwiches, so when i'm living by myself i'll store my food how i like it and there is also no cereals i like, or anything else for that matter.

I suggest talking to him and asking him what he likes, besides fast food. I think it's a good idea to leave pasta leftovers too, easy for him and you. Plus it's a lot better than maccas.

However, if there is not a hot chicken or similar he decides there is "nothing to eat". It is driving me nuts.

I am just trying to gauge where his expectations about what lunch should be are coming from. I believe our lunches are pretty "normal" and was wondering what other families have for lunch during the holidays and weekends.

Middle boy finds something to eat and doesn't complain, never has. First and last born are just different altogether.

We tried the same thing on first born, forcing him to make something. Instead, he doesn't eat. That is his problem.

I can relate, if i look in the pantry looking for a snack and there's only musli bars when i really want crackers, i consider it "nothing to eat"

If teenage guys are anything like me, they want something that can either be heated or is in a package, thus fast food, it's easier.

 

[Tuppence]

I agree with what most have said - we're a sandwich-or-leftovers-for-lunch kind of family too. And I have two boys, so feel a tinge of fear at what may be to come.
I'd be inclined to take a bit of a tough love approach, as you appear to have with your eldest - make sure there's some food that is considered acceptable to you both (whether sausages, meat patties, two-minute noodles, whatever), and then let him have at it. Like a toddler, if he's hungry, he'll eat - and at least if he doesn't, it's not so much your problem. If he chooses endless takeaway, at least let it be with his own money.
Good luck

 

[Aaron Sice]

he's a 14 year old - he's going to be

1) lazy as sin
2) complaining
3) lazy as sin
4) cheap with his own money
5) lazy as sin

just tell him no KFC just because you saw it on the telly - if you're hungry, either

a) grow your own food
b) take what there is in the fridge or
c) get a job and buy what you like.

 

[lizzie]

Reheated leftovers are pretty standard lunch fare I reckon!

agree - says lizzie who's eating leftover quiche for the second day in a row.

from one who started making her own school lunches at 8, and would spend her entire weekly wages on lunch during her first year out of school, don't stress the small stuff. he won't starve to death. he's making this a battle - but if you don't engage then he has no one to battle against.

i know you're going thru a lot of other stuff - and it only takes little things to send you over the edge when in the situation - but personally i'd just reinforce what is available to eat (perhaps add easy stuff like two minute noodles or toasted sandwich maker) and let it go.

i am sure there is something we all drove our parents spare with when we were teenagers ... mine was just "doing" what i wanted and always breaking curfew.

p.s. can i come to your place for lunch?

 

[pennyk]

in our house, our nearly teenage boy would eat eggs every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner if he could... so I've taught him how to make it for himself.
Otherwise, when he's home... 2 minute noodles, easymac, leftovers, grilled cheese on toast etc.
my kids rarely eat sandwiches. I think most of the bread available from the grocery store these days is pretty bad for you anyway!
Pen

 

[The Y-man]

I don't mind healthier stuff, give me sushi any day

It might be healthier than KFC or Macca's, but it isn't necessarily healthy!


Cheers,

The Y-man

 

[rugrat]

It might be healthier than KFC or Macca's, but it isn't necessarily healthy!


Cheers,

The Y-man

It isn't necessarily unhealthy either

 

[RumpledElf]

I have a teenager rapidly approaching 30.

Lunch is invariably grilled cheese on toast. Fruit? Never. Vegetables? With dinner but never any other time. Breakfast? Unheard of.

 

[The Y-man]

It isn't necessarily unhealthy either

I guess what I have issues with for what passes as "sushi" here (technically almost always a "maki" not "nigiri') is:

- It is accepted as some sort of staple (great job by marketing gurus!). In Japan, sushi is a delicacy, not a staple. You'd eat it as often as...chocolate cake.

- The wrong type of rice is used here - typically long grains or at best medium calrose. Some long grains can have higher GI than say something like Koshihikari rice.

- The vinegar/sugar mix in the sushi is usually not sour enough. The japanese rice wine vinegar actually helps in lowering the GI


I'd actually prefer if people ate the humble (and dare I say more "staple") "onigiri/omusubi" - while it is almost all rice, there's no sugar in there.... (and yes, in Japan you can get it from you local convenience store ready made! )



Cheers,

The Y-man