What is with my parents.

[Aaron Sice]

the timing of this thread is very funny.

no sooner had i had a whinge about my folks, they called me last night wanting to set a date so they could come have a chat about what i learned from Rixter (cheers again buddy! ) because they want to implement it "within the month".

i swear there's some kind of ethereal psychic connection between you and the people you hold dear. like when you think of someone and they ring 2 mins later....

 

[Player]

i think you mean "being patient enough...... i know you know i know what you meant - but i thought i'd expand a little there

Thanks BC........yep, "be interested" not interesting or arrogant, however ensure the anti-virus is running "inside"

 

[perky29]

I remember years ago at my mothers house , my brother and Sis in law being questioned about their ballooning debt by my mother (160k some 11 years ago , was up to 300k owing at that point and now its closer to 400k bad debt) - and the Sis in laws reaction by deflecting to us - they owe a lot more than us on their properties !!
What wasn't mentioned is that we owed no bad debt , and the cost of keeping the IP's was half of their interest cost on their PPOR.
Some people just have no idea.

Its hard to complain though , its people like them and other who spend HUGE amounts of money on cars , the latest gadgets (courtesy of the governments stimulus) that are keeping this economy afloat.
If everyone were like us here on Somersoft (save money , not spend on the latest doodads etc) , I think Australia would probably be in more trouble and higher unemployment than it is now
David

 

[craigb]

PABLO there is an awsome thread that i think Xiana started about What your pearants topld you about wealth creation its about 9 pages its a good read so have a look , i am sure others have similiar experiences, with the negative feed back fom folks and family,

 

[Pablo]

What is the "history" of your family is it like mine?

My sister can do no wrong, yet has no assests, no money, no super...get the picture.

I am the opposite, and yet I can do no right. Sad but I learned a long time ago that regardless of my achievements, in my parents eyes everything I do is wrong.

I guess I'm seen as the irresposible one due to the life I lived in my teenage years and the fact that I could have achieved more out of life, but I still kept my head about me during those years and did OK for myself and am making up for it now.

I think they think things have come to easy for me so are worried that one day I will trip up but they don't see the work that goes on behind the scenes.

 

[Pablo]

How about when you mention you will never own the property, and that you are only paying interest? haha

That was my wife that freaked out about that, I just changed the subject as quickly as possible and left the room. I think she will forget about all the debt when she's living in her beach front house.

 

[AndrewT]

I've got to agree with this as I have been in the same situation. My partner and I only just bought our first property 6 months ago and already we have been talking about investment properties, renovating, renting, selling and interesting stuff I have been reading in RE books. All i hear back from my family is 'its too early to think about that', 'you don't earn enough' or 'your going to get yourself into more debt?!'. Again, I explain how it can work out without having to put your own money up front (equity and so on) but they are not convinced and have no faith!

This isn't such a bad thing all the time though because all this just makes me want to succeed even more to prove people wrong. Like I have read before, it doesn't matter how much money you make - what matters is how you put your money to use!

Leikela is right on the money. Look at those people who are questioning your plans for IP's, have they succeeded financially? If there are people who don't believe in what your doing, then don't talk about it with them. No one needs negative feedback!

 

[Pablo]

Einstine's quote and relates to people existing at different wavelengths or levels of awareness. People at a different waivelengths don't have any reality on what you are doing so they can only make it wrong.

see you tonight! X

I like that quote it explains it perfectly.

Whoops forgot about the meeting tonight you'll have to set up a text message service to remind people an hour beforehand. I guess I wasn't meant to see Rob present.

 

[Dazz]

That was my wife that freaked out about that....I think she will forget about all the debt when she's living in her beach front house.

My very recent experience is that they do not forget about it at all.

 

[Pablo]

Good point, thanks I have been trying to educate her slowly but she isn't really that interested, I'll have to try harder.

 

[travelbug]

My hubby hasn't been interested at all. He has no idea of our financial status.

That was until I decided to buy a place that needed renovating. Now he even looks on Real Estate.com to find places.

I still won't let him touch the accounts

We just purchased a renovator place. He has lists etc on costs, what we need etc which is great. I'm a list maker but I'm more of a number cruncher.
I will report back on how his numbers work and what the house looks like finished (and how our marriage survives)

It's a matter of finding what aspects your partner is interested in.

I think I've created a monster.

 

[Piston Broke]

This just sounds like a bunch of teenagers all saying
"the world hates me!"
"everbody hates me!"
"Why does everybody hate me?"

 

[jaycee]

oh man...... you too Piston ?

 

[Piston Broke]

oh man...... you too Piston ?

It does'nt matter when your Piston Broke lol

 

[josko]

Hi Pablo,

Maybe you parents are from a generation similar to mine.

I choose not to mention anything to my Mother, (my father passed away a few years ago) and only talk about the positive things if she enquires.

It is just something you have to except and not hold against them. My parents lived in caravans and seperated us children for a year so that my father could build us a home. They endured post-war conditions and knew what it was like to feel hungry.

They just don't and will never understand Capital Growth. The whole concept of not paying off your home just doesn't sit well with them, nor will it ever.

Except their feelings and travel your path with contentment, knowing you are building a better life and retirement for yourself.


Regards JO

 

[pully]

Hi Pablo,

Maybe you parents are from a generation similar to mine.

I choose not to mention anything to my Mother, (my father passed away a few years ago) and only talk about the positive things if she enquires.

It is just something you have to except and not hold against them. My parents lived in caravans and seperated us children for a year so that my father could build us a home. They endured post-war conditions and knew what it was like to feel hungry.

They just don't and will never understand Capital Growth. The whole concept of not paying off your home just doesn't sit well with them, nor will it ever.

Except their feelings and travel your path with contentment, knowing you are building a better life and retirement for yourself.


Regards JO

well said josko. very well said.
regards.

 

[vincenzo]

"the world hates me!"
"everbody hates me!"
"Why does everybody hate me?"

If the world seems to hate you, try being nicer

 

[Neophyte]

Risk tolerance

I think the mis-understanding with families is all to do with risk perception. Many people think "whats the worst that can happen?" and on that basis choose only the safest option. Their primary emotion relating to investing in fear.

My in-laws put their savings into term deposits. They won't touch the share market. They would never negatively gear to get into property. They have no risk tolerance. This comes from both their background(s) and experience during the Keating recession (more than 12 months out of work, down to last $100 dollars experience).

My parents also started out very risk adverse (based on being below the poverty line growing up) and when they first bought a house realised within months that it was too small/cheap and upgraded. When we bought our first house recently they advised me not to "underspend and regret it" due to the now high transaction costs like stamp duty.

My two points are: Many people are completely allergic to risk (via debt) and this aversion is often caused by a handful (or single) anecdote from many years ago.

 

[josko]

If the world seems to hate you, try being nicer

LOL vincenzo.

I love PB's colourful comments! He's keeping it real! One day he will say a nice thing and I hope it's not about me.

Regards Jo

 

[HandyAndy888]

Hi,

I really do not understand my parents thinking, when I first started talking about property investing they were stressing out big time acting like I was going to lose the shirt of my back and would present me each week when I visited with a pile of newspaper clippings of every negative investment article that appeared in the paper that week. I've got the feeling that they even lost sleep over it even though they admitted that they had always wanted to buy an ip and also admitted that they would have been much better off if they had.

BUT

My sister and her husband have decided to take a year off work (quiting her job) and travel around Australia and my parents couldn't be happier for them. They're really getting excited for my sister, even helping her plan her trip and everything.

By my calculations this trip will be costing at least $150k (lost wages, caravan, expenses etc.).

Don't get me wrong I'm happy for my sister I just don't get my parents thinking. On one hand you have a son trying to make a better life for himself and on the other a daughter having a great holiday you would think they would be happy for both.

But on the plus side after returning one night from their house totally freaked out from the pile of negative articles I googled negative gearing being axed and stumbled across somersoft.

Anyone have any similar experience's?

This is an easy one. Your parents are hippies. Sure signs include lack of showers and thongs.