What is with my parents.

[Pablo]

Hi,

I really do not understand my parents thinking, when I first started talking about property investing they were stressing out big time acting like I was going to lose the shirt of my back and would present me each week when I visited with a pile of newspaper clippings of every negative investment article that appeared in the paper that week. I've got the feeling that they even lost sleep over it even though they admitted that they had always wanted to buy an ip and also admitted that they would have been much better off if they had.

BUT

My sister and her husband have decided to take a year off work (quiting her job) and travel around Australia and my parents couldn't be happier for them. They're really getting excited for my sister, even helping her plan her trip and everything.

By my calculations this trip will be costing at least $150k (lost wages, caravan, expenses etc.).

Don't get me wrong I'm happy for my sister I just don't get my parents thinking. On one hand you have a son trying to make a better life for himself and on the other a daughter having a great holiday you would think they would be happy for both.

But on the plus side after returning one night from their house totally freaked out from the pile of negative articles I googled negative gearing being axed and stumbled across somersoft.

Anyone have any similar experience's?

 

[tarah]

Hi Pablo,

My parents were the same but mostly just not interested in hearing about it or contributing anything. But then when I bought my first house (when houses were cheap! ) and went to live overseas they freaked out too! Can't win sometimes, they care I guess! My brother's have just bought their first house and looking to buy IPs so sometimes it's not what you were taught when growing up but an individual's natural drive to create a better life for themselves.

I hope they become excited for you soon!

Good luck with it all

 

[Pablo]

I hope they become excited for you soon!

Good luck with it all

No they're still not excited (4 years on) I didn't even tell them when I eventually bought my first ip, my kids let it out of the bag even though I told them not to tell them becuase I was afraid my dad might have a heart attack.

 

[tarah]

Yeah don't give him cause for a heart attack!

At least you know you're doing the right thing for a great life and you can teach your kids the financial journey!

 

[Aaron Sice]

i have a similar story with my folks.

except they're good ol' "gunna's" - that is, they are always "gunna" buy something. after our trip to tasmania, after we've painted the house, after i've tidied up the paving, after i paid the bike off.......3 years on they're still "gunna".

they're all for me investing. but should my sister and her hubby want to, well, they're just in a world of their own, aren't they?

 

[kissfan]

Hi Pablo.

I'm sure your parents mean well and are only concerned that 'everything turns out well for you'.

Perhaps it's a fear of the unknown for them. Different generations view debt very differently with some older folk out there believing that all debt is bad. I'm in my 40's and my mum stll freaks when she hears me talking budgets (of a personal nature), payments etc.

My guess is that some people were/are bought up believing that once you pay off the mortgage on your PPOR that you should be comfortable and set for life, so any other (big) debt is unthinkable. Not implying this is how your parents are, just my observation on others parents including my own.

Regards
Marty

 

[Pushka]

I dont discuss any of our financial or business affairs with my family. Never have, never will.

 

[steveadl]

People are often afraid of what they don't understand.

 

[Deena]

What is the "history" of your family is it like mine?

My sister can do no wrong, yet has no assests, no money, no super...get the picture.

I am the opposite, and yet I can do no right. Sad but I learned a long time ago that regardless of my achievements, in my parents eyes everything I do is wrong.

Go for it and look for positive reinforcements within yourself and like minded people who will praise your achievements.

 

[rugrat]

I would suggest that they just aren't comfotable with BIG debt.

 

[Leikela]

My father is similar, always putting down my decisions. I recently bought a property in Frankston and he's always going on about wasting money, and it's stupid to take out loans (for mortgages, I don't have ANY other debt) and constantly making negative comments about Frankston. With him I know it's a jealously type thing, and doesn't like seeing anyone (including his own family) do better than him. He's never been very cluey with investments and managing his money. My mother on the other hand is very supportive and thinks it's wonderful. I don't really care what other people think, if they are being negative without trying to help me I just totally disregard it. I look up to those who have succeeded and done well and want to advise, and ignore the rest, it's not worth the time. I'm not saying your parents are doing it with negative intentions, but ask yourself, the people who are being negative - have they succeeded financially? If not, why would you listen to any "advice" they have? Do your own research and listen to those who have done well for themselves.

 

[Edmond Dantes]

How about when you mention you will never own the property, and that you are only paying interest? haha

 

[Leikela]

How about when you mention you will never own the property, and that you are only paying interest? haha

I wouldn't even bother trying to explain that to him!

 

[luvvit]

Yeah, I think we've all got similar stories

When I first started investing at 26, my parents were soooooooo worried about me. When I sold that unit after 3 years and doubled my money, and made twice what my dad did in a year, they went "oooooookay".

When I bought houses and showed my mum proof of what I was doing, how I was doing it, and my end goal, she threw out her prejudices and now asks me when she can get her painting gear back on.

The good thing is that over time, they went from "we have to protect luvvit" to "luvvits got it sorted" so you can teach an old dog new tricks (not saying my mums a dog you understand ) the best thing I did was to take my software program with me to mums, and run through the numbers and show her what the end cost was per week (profit or negative) she gets it, and supports me 100% of the way now...

Best thing I did was take the time to educate them on my journey too.....

Luvvit.

 

[Player]

Love your family.....choose your peers

Pablo,

your signature tag says it all:

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved

Love your family and, choose your peers. The latter is satisfied here on this wonderful cyber-community.

As you are aware you need to limit the discussion of what you are striving for and achieving with the naysayers and filter out all the negativity that may be dished out, no matter how well intended, by those whom we love, including family.

We all make choices and each of us has a different definition of life balance. Stick to your guns.

 

[Xenia]

Great spirits have always faced violent opposition from mediocre minds because the latter cannot comprehend what the former is doing.

Einstine's quote and relates to people existing at different wavelengths or levels of awareness. People at a different waivelengths don't have any reality on what you are doing so they can only make it wrong.

It IS wrong in their existance, it has to be othewise they would have changed what they were doing. Their belief is that what you are doing IS wrong, that's why people need to change their beliefs before they can move ahead in life.

The more violent opposition you encounter, the bigger you are, you have outgrown the reality of your family as most of us here have. It just means that you are on the right track. Billionaires outgrow the reality of most people, look at how wrong the media make them. Keep playing the bigger game and take it as a compliment.

see you tonight! X

 

[kero]

i have stopped telling my parents are my goal towards finanical independence. They are strong believers of ALL DEBTS ARE BAD and non-believers in leverage. Its probably how they were brought up. Stories of how people lost your money in shares and property thru friends are not helping either.

So. most of the time, besides my wife & a few close friends, I would share stories or experiences with forum members. It is important to 'hang out' with like minded friends, acquaintance etc, i reckon.

anyhow, I am learning to filter the type of information to tell my parents. Things are worry them i won;t bother.

 

[vincenzo]

At least you've told your parents Pablo, some of us try to keep things very very quiet

I agree that it's better to spend money investing, so that maybe you can reitre young/early and holiday every year or more for the rest of your life, than to spend it all now and not be able to afford more than a holiday or two after a late retirement.

 

[bespoke]

you have "IT"

Pablo and others :

my hubbie refers to the difference between you and the rest of your family as "IT"
What is "IT", if you have "IT" you probably know what "IT" is. In my case "IT" is:
wanting better than what I grew up with and being prepared to do the hard yards to get it.

Never ever ever giving up

Working backwards from what you want. eg; I want to own 10 IP's in 10 years, or I want to retire at 50 (or whatever your dream is) so what do I have to do to get that? I always work backwards like that. I spend hours and hours (and days sometimes) turning a problem over in my head until I get a solution.

Not accepting a poor me attitude

Not listening to well meaning but ill informed advice

Having a burning desire to succeed

I could go on but you probably get the drift.


I spent a few years of my life saying "thats not fair" and one day I realised Life isn't fair. There will always be some lazy dumb ***** you went to school with who is earning more than you, sometimes the most attractive person gets the job instead of the most capable, etc etc. So what lifes not fair, just get on with it cause while I was bitching, some were just getting on with it and I suddenly realised I was getting left behind.


Keep the faith and just do "IT"

 

[Aaron Sice]

Not listening to well meaning but ill informed advice

i think you mean "being patient enough to sit through well meaning advice but not acting on it because it's ill-informed".

you can just plain old "not listen" and be thought of as arrogant and a bit of a pr/ck. the last thing you want to do is fob off your mum's (or whoever's) concerns like they don't know what they're talking about.

chances are they do know very well, but it doesn't apply to your situation.

i know you know i know what you meant - but i thought i'd expand a little there