It is because you are seeking your Purpose, to live a life of Self Actualisation.
Cheers,
The Y-man
why is it that i'm not satisfied?
- Thread starter lizzie
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It is because you are seeking your Purpose, to live a life of Self Actualisation.
Cheers,
The Y-man
I've always had this itching feeling to impress everyone around me, in anything that i'd do, i'd put my "friends" ahead of anything i really wanted, or needed.
Although being quite young, this was school yard games, who's the most popular, prettiest, skinniest, and i've always tried to impress them..
Many of my friends have much better cars than me, that have been bought for them, at present i'm cruising around in a 1990 Mazda 121, and my friends all have newer cars than mine, or at least look better than mine, and because i'm sick of people being immature and taunting me about my car, or my inexpensive clothes, not having Lee jeans or what not..
So instead of saving up for things i need, i get the urge to go out, get my nails done, do my hair, pack on makeup, have a boyfriend, and buy a new car (which in no way can i afford without using my house deposit)..
Than i decided, i don't want this..unfortunately i still want the car
But as for the clothes, does it matter..? Makeup, useless stuff like that, i don't care, even broke up with the boyfriend of 2 years, because i'm sick of trying to make everyone else happy. And now, i am happy.
Point of my blabbing..?
Do what makes you happy, and eventually, you will figure out what you want to do or be, and you will get it, but sometimes it's hard, and takes time, but there's no point losing sleep over it..
Hope that makes sense, even if i have no actual experience of what you're actually going through, if not, disregard my 2cents
Although being quite young, this was school yard games, who's the most popular, prettiest, skinniest, and i've always tried to impress them..
Many of my friends have much better cars than me, that have been bought for them, at present i'm cruising around in a 1990 Mazda 121, and my friends all have newer cars than mine, or at least look better than mine, and because i'm sick of people being immature and taunting me about my car, or my inexpensive clothes, not having Lee jeans or what not..
So instead of saving up for things i need, i get the urge to go out, get my nails done, do my hair, pack on makeup, have a boyfriend, and buy a new car (which in no way can i afford without using my house deposit)..
Than i decided, i don't want this..unfortunately i still want the car
But as for the clothes, does it matter..? Makeup, useless stuff like that, i don't care, even broke up with the boyfriend of 2 years, because i'm sick of trying to make everyone else happy. And now, i am happy.
Point of my blabbing..?
Do what makes you happy, and eventually, you will figure out what you want to do or be, and you will get it, but sometimes it's hard, and takes time, but there's no point losing sleep over it..
Hope that makes sense, even if i have no actual experience of what you're actually going through, if not, disregard my 2cents
I know what you mean Lizzie. Just moved into the new house which is much bigger than the last. But there is still something missing. OK, it needs reno-ing, and we are doing that. The thing is, I know that I won't settle here long term. The area is better. The house is better. But I'm not content.
ummm - errrrr - yep - but not looking for such a dramatic change in personal circumstances having been thru that. i know quite a few things i want to achieve over the next few years - but the process is soooooo slow (being a "do it yesterday" type of person).
If there's one thing which is very true for me, it's that having 'stuff' doesn't make you happy. It can bring temporary fun, elation, whatever, but it doesn't bring true, deep, satisfying happiness.
My wife and I have gone to some effort over the past 3 or so years to stop buying things, simply because we can. As I've posted on here previously, we have a fairly high income, and could afford lots of 'nice stuff', but choose not to. For us, this means we focus more on people and relationships, which, ultimately, are the only things that have any true value at all. I would say we are both happier now than when we 'denyed ourselves nothing'.
Don't get me wrong - we don't live in poverty (we just got back from a week at a 5 star hotel in Thailand), but we do deliberately deny ourselves some of the things our colleagues have (eg expensive cars, expensive clothes, expensive appliances). That said, we will likely ramp up the travel over the next few years.
I invest because I like it, and so far have had some success (which I've enjoyed). It also means we can support what we see as worthy causes with financial assistance, and will only work another 10 years or so before retiring on a 6 figure income with a nice home and no personal debt. It gives us options down the track, which means we can choose without worry or concern at a time when many people have to work hardest.
My wife and I have gone to some effort over the past 3 or so years to stop buying things, simply because we can. As I've posted on here previously, we have a fairly high income, and could afford lots of 'nice stuff', but choose not to. For us, this means we focus more on people and relationships, which, ultimately, are the only things that have any true value at all. I would say we are both happier now than when we 'denyed ourselves nothing'.
Don't get me wrong - we don't live in poverty (we just got back from a week at a 5 star hotel in Thailand), but we do deliberately deny ourselves some of the things our colleagues have (eg expensive cars, expensive clothes, expensive appliances). That said, we will likely ramp up the travel over the next few years.
I invest because I like it, and so far have had some success (which I've enjoyed). It also means we can support what we see as worthy causes with financial assistance, and will only work another 10 years or so before retiring on a 6 figure income with a nice home and no personal debt. It gives us options down the track, which means we can choose without worry or concern at a time when many people have to work hardest.
When you were born, Lizzie.
Some great posts and thanks for sharing Lizzie and all.
Ok I am going to have a go at this.
I believe there are highly subtle attachments we have to particular feelings of fulfillment deep inside. These feelings are triggered by wanted things happening in our life which leads to "happiness" or "contentment". When these feelings are not present, (since wanted things cannot always happen - and unwanted things cannot be eliminated), we miss them and start craving for them - hence the restlessness. We wonder how we can get this feeling back? Upgrade the car, donate to charity, grow our own veges, enjoy this or that pleasure, etc.
The problem is that we get more attached to the feeling - which leads to more suffering when the feeling is not present. Again we run for something pleasant to suppress the problem - and again the conditioning is deepened.
The answer is so easy to understand at the intellectual level yet so difficult to attain. Don't crave, don't have aversion, toward any sense object and you will experience contentment beyond your wildest dreams. Does this mean you must stop desiring things? Certainly not. Desire in itself does not create the suffering. It is the attachment to the desired object or result that causes the problem. The attachment to the "feeling" one gets when the desire is fulfilled. All we need to do is come out of the attachment to the pleasant feelings and come out of the aversion toward the unpleasant feelings. On top of this - become a better person, more selfless, generous and compassionate.
I could go on but I will leave it here. Player (Michael) got me going with some deep and meaningful ponderings the other day and it appears I have become attached to the subject.
I wish you all the best Lizzie and hope that one day you can be free from the restlessness as well as all of the other sufferings that we share with you in varying amounts and intensity.
I understand.
It was when Rob and I got married and I told him of my dreams of wanting IP's, that I am finally obtaining what I wanted.
As much hassle it is with tenants sometimes, I love what we do.
So I am much more content know.
Instead of living in a large 3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath house, we live in a one bed, one bath apartment. Our young adult kids have the other units in the building.
We don't have as much free time now, but I am certainly never bored.
I think reaching the 40 age mark, it is a feeling if I don't do it now...when.
Something like the Bucket List.
It's always interesting to go to house auctions with open eyes,from the old run-down properties with high land content, that the same couple have lived in for 40 years,not a modern item within the house not a flat screen in the place,only 2 very old people standing on the foot path with one hand on their wa;king sticks and the other hand holding on too each other they have seen all the realms of possibilities in their life as they look
through the tiny peephole of their life in the house being sold in front of them,but you can see in their eyes they are happy,I go to other auctions with the moderm square box,on 400sqm's,S/S kitchen-3 bathrooms/media room office,and rooms the size of a outdoor backyard dunny, and look into the vendors standing apart with a stunned look on their faces and standing apart sour at each other ,they must have got it wrong after trying to keep up with their work mates,and every other sidekick on the "TV",makes me wonder who is right and who is wrong but people faces
and the way they talk and act do not lie..
People often tell me when i go out ,that this person or that person has not found themself or herself, the self is not something one finds,it is something one creates,and once you throw "FEAR" both instinctual and conditioned out the door,and don't worry what other people think ,in one of the streets that i live in,i'm the only straight person in that small inner city street,where in the old run down property that i use as my day-night
office,every house in the that street has had the full blown reno from the base too the new steel roof has had the full reno,they may look down on me spending my days inside my office, but little do they understand i only focus on the moment,and the opportunity that exists within that moment
Lissie i know very few high wealth people that started in the gutter like myself,but the few that i do know have a remarkable clarity to see what is essential and what is not..good luck willair..
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Hi Lizzie,
I know exactly how you feel. I used to wish I could just be happy with what I have to give my mind a rest from thinking of new ideas and challenges/goals! I am now happy that I feel this way, as it can sometimes be the best personality for PI.
Have you recently finished a project or a busy stage of your life? I find that when things slow down you can't handle the extra time you have and socialising all the time just doesn't cut it! You need something to stimulate your mind or do something creative that's not linked to PI?
Have fun!
Tarah
I know exactly how you feel. I used to wish I could just be happy with what I have to give my mind a rest from thinking of new ideas and challenges/goals! I am now happy that I feel this way, as it can sometimes be the best personality for PI.
Have you recently finished a project or a busy stage of your life? I find that when things slow down you can't handle the extra time you have and socialising all the time just doesn't cut it! You need something to stimulate your mind or do something creative that's not linked to PI?
Have fun!
Tarah
Sometimes what you think you want is not what you need.
I'm not happy
Stuff will make me happy
I get stuff
I'm not happy
More stuff will make me happy
I get more stuff
I'm not happy
Repeat as necessary
I'm not happy
Stuff will make me happy
I get stuff
I'm not happy
More stuff will make me happy
I get more stuff
I'm not happy
Repeat as necessary
One day you will be happy with your lot lizzie.
Dont be surprised if its far less than what you think you want/ need now.
There is a new book out and l am so sorry l cant remember who by or where but its called
"when is enough, enough"[ or similar]
Each of us must find our own enough.
You will one one day.
cheers
yadreamim
Dont be surprised if its far less than what you think you want/ need now.
There is a new book out and l am so sorry l cant remember who by or where but its called
"when is enough, enough"[ or similar]
Each of us must find our own enough.
You will one one day.
cheers
yadreamim
actually - quite the opposite. we are currently neck deep in a reno/landscape, plus elderly family stuff, school stuff, internet store, getting several books off to publishers and write a new one etc.
if i think about it - that is usually when i feel restless - when i haven't got time to "do" anything new or undertake any projects that are itching in the back of my mind.
i know it's something many of your keep touching on - but i don't want "stuff". i can easily afford stuff, but i don't buy it because i don't want it. i could go out and upgrade my car tomorrow but i know it is not something in that manner which i am seeking. it is more an intangible. a self fulfillment. time with family and friends. experiences and travel. building a business.
'I saw a native crested pigeon this morning...'
Exactly my thoughts Mr Ed - you are a genius!
Exactly my thoughts Mr Ed - you are a genius!
Maybe book a trip overseas (when you have time). It might clear your mind enough to make way for new inspiring ideas or spend more time finishing the other things you have on the go. I found that when I went back to Uni to change careers I would get so frustrated and angry that I couldn't spend more time on my PI even though that was the busy lifestyle I had chosen?? But like you I always had the nagging feeling that I should be doing other more personally fulfilling things.
Good luck!
Good luck!
I think most people are not satisfied because they always desire better stuff. It must be an instinct/evolution thing to make us want for better things but desire is the root cause of unhappiness/dissatisfaction. My plans for being well minted ($10m+) are out the window and i'm happy/satisfied where i am now, without a job and living on AU$40k a year in a developing country where i am a millionaire. It's a cliche but it really is doing what makes you happy.
It is more intangible Lizzie but it is still a feeling you are chasing - an experience. This feeling is not manifesting for you at present and therefore you feel restless, uncomfortable. It is not necessarily getting "stuff" that makes us experience sense happiness. It can be many things such as being loved, seeing your child succeed, overcoming a challenge, etc. When these things that we want are lacking - we suffer. The restlessness is just an indicator that you are not getting that feeling of satisfaction as much as you want.
Like Tobe said - it's the human condition.
I think it is great that you are searching,exploring and questioning these subtler realities. May you find your own answers.
Great thread.
I invest because, while I love my work that includes advice to govts on sustainability policy etc, I have a value set that isn't compatable with most of 'modern' society. I aspire to a no-kids, low eco-footprint, partially self sufficient, non-consumeristic, permaculture and grass roots kind of lifestyle.
Essentially, I'm building a portfolio in order to opt-out.
Sadly, even if you're paid off your home... Council Rates and general expenses (e.g. medical) means you must still pay money in order to continue to exist. So, I'm building passive income for greenie lifestyle.
It's already enabled me to opt-out of Sydney CBD living and to work less here in regional QLD, away from the depressing image of cbd commuter and consumer drones every day, and each new step brings happiness.
While I'll celebrate and cut back on work when my target is reached, I'll continue to invest in +ve geared property because it's a great hobby and always good to reinforce your position. The key is that it'll give me the freedom to continue to opt-in to work or volunteer but with the freedom to only do so if I totally believe in what a team are doing, rather than sometimes working with 'the bad guys' in order to pay the bills and try to 'change them' as I have in the past.
Reading back through this, it almost sounds like a greenie version of a mid life crisis! LOL
So there you go lizzie! That's mine. Maybe there's something deep inside you that gives you a discomfort with the status quo? It sounds like you have a pretty healthy approach to life really, and you're thinking ahead. Keep up the good work!
I invest because, while I love my work that includes advice to govts on sustainability policy etc, I have a value set that isn't compatable with most of 'modern' society. I aspire to a no-kids, low eco-footprint, partially self sufficient, non-consumeristic, permaculture and grass roots kind of lifestyle.
Essentially, I'm building a portfolio in order to opt-out.
Sadly, even if you're paid off your home... Council Rates and general expenses (e.g. medical) means you must still pay money in order to continue to exist. So, I'm building passive income for greenie lifestyle.
It's already enabled me to opt-out of Sydney CBD living and to work less here in regional QLD, away from the depressing image of cbd commuter and consumer drones every day, and each new step brings happiness.
While I'll celebrate and cut back on work when my target is reached, I'll continue to invest in +ve geared property because it's a great hobby and always good to reinforce your position. The key is that it'll give me the freedom to continue to opt-in to work or volunteer but with the freedom to only do so if I totally believe in what a team are doing, rather than sometimes working with 'the bad guys' in order to pay the bills and try to 'change them' as I have in the past.
Reading back through this, it almost sounds like a greenie version of a mid life crisis! LOL
So there you go lizzie! That's mine. Maybe there's something deep inside you that gives you a discomfort with the status quo? It sounds like you have a pretty healthy approach to life really, and you're thinking ahead.
Keep up the good work!Love your signature quote Shuggy! Very random!
Your set-up sounds pretty good. Are you in Thailand? I love Thailand and have toyed with the idea of living there myself in the past. It must have been a big decision to move OS. Good on ya.
PJ
