Xmas Party 2003

Subject: FW: XMAS PARTY 2003



If you are planning a Christmas Party/function, please read this....


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 1 2003
RE: Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar & plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols....feel free to sing along, & don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 13:00. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over $10 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees as a special announcement will be made by our CEO at that time. Merry Christmas to you & your family. Patty



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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 2 2003
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party". The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree presents. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your entertainment. Happy now? Happy holidays to you & your family. Patty


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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3 2003
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads "AA ONLY" you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchanges are allowed since the union members feel $10 is too much money & executives believe $10 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.


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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 7 2003
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating & drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employee's beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party-or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy-bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of weight watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet & pregnant woman will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food, we suggest for those people with high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as desserts for diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts, sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!? Patty


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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All #$%&ing Employees
DATE: December 10 2003
RE: The #$%&@*# Holiday Party

Vegetarians?!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death", as you so quaintly put it, & you'll get your @#$%&! salad bar, including organic tomatoes. You do know tomatoes have feelings too? They scream when you slice them, I've heard them! I'm hearing them scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk & die, you hear me!?!?!?!?!?!?!!! The bitch from hell!!!!!!!



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FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 14 2003
RE: Patty Lewis & Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery & I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party & give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!



;)
 
It struck a chord when I first recieved it as it seemed to mirror last years work party !!.

Two changes of venue latter and 2 changes of date half of the people cancelled due to lack of interest and to top it off the band failed to arrive on the night.

Regards
Simon H
 
Best Christmas parties we used to have at my last job was a simple BBQ at the boss's place - family invited.

When the company was bought out by a large American company, following years parties were held at expensive restaurants and spouses/families were not allowed - it was really boring !

I might suggest that IBM try the BBQ approach - we'll all go to Sam Palmisano's place for lunch I think - although it may be a tad chilly in Armonk New York for a BBQ at that time of the year ?
 
Simon H
Well done.
LOL

Our Xmas party was organised by the staff, and guess what. I'm a vegetarian, and the whole menu was not. :rolleyes:
Times change, but it seems some restaurants can't keep up. :)
jahn
 
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Our Xmas party was organised by the staff, and guess what. I'm a vegetarian, and the whole menu was not.
Times change, but it seems some restaurants can't keep up.
jahn
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Thats awful !!

My Father is also a vegetarian, he hardly eats out in restaurants (any time of the year), though not as bad as it use to be, I remember him telling me once he ordered a vegetarian meal and getting plain rice, a carrot and some cheese and then being charged the same price as a large steak meal.

Seems there is a lot more variety these days.

Regards Simon H
 
Simon H
Not awful, but for some reason expected.!? I must have a twisted sence of humour, because for some reason I thought it was funny.
Your fathers story reminds me of a wedding reception we went to and 2 meals were 'specially' ordered for us. The bowl placed in front of me contained soooo much 'stuff', at first I thought it was for the whole table, and then thought it was enough to literally 'choke a horse.'
Needless to say I didn't even eat a quarter of what was served up. Just goes to show how much we vegos have to eat to make up for lack of meat :rolleyes: And here I was thinking it was the other way around. :D
PS - I know there is more variety than most people (cooks included ) realise.
BTW - So far I have copied your post and shown it to 3 people, and just getting started :D :D

Sim
What about igloo BBQ's ?
jahn
 
Jahn,

My 10yo daughter has been vegetarian (well, except for fish & eggs etc) for about six months now. Her older sister is almost the opposite.

I'm happy to have meatless meals at home one or two times out of three. But I still have to cater for the carnivore :D

It's a pity that our culture has probably ten good meat recipes for every reasonable vego recipe. I'd be happier to eat veghetarian more often with some better variety.

At least the internet opens some options.

My sister's wedding reception (25 years ago) was dry. Something that was not appreciated in Victoria at the time. And even the more so, as it was Grand Final day in Victoria. Double Jeopardy.

At least there was a bar for people to be able to buy- and there were a lot of people with earphones.
 
Hi Geoff
I hope it wasn't the same wedding that I went to long ago (because I must have ignored you :rolleyes: ), but at the time (I used to partake of the odd drop) we found some reserves to get us through. :D
I've been pretty lucky here because my better half has been vego for most of our married (34 years I think :eek: ) life.
Having a group of us in the same scene has been very handy, so recipes/ideas get swapped, and I am constantly amazed at the variety on offer. I am starting to think there are more varieties for us than for the 'poor old carnivores' :)
The 'group ' includes our 2 married daughters, but not their husbands, and a couple of better halfs sisters.
Not into the 'vegan' thing that excludes eggs etc.
BTW The hardest things to give up were the good old hamburger, but there are some v good substitutes, and the humble pie. No substitutes :mad:
 
Our son would like to be a vegetarian, but we've told him he has to wait until he's 18 so his body doesn't miss out on what it needs to grow.

Geoffw, do you know where I can find info on how ok it is for kids to be vegetarian? He's 6 and if he can go vego now we'd support it, we're just worried about the nutrition stuff. We have a few other vegetarians in the family and they've counselled against kids being vegetarian (at least into their mid-teens).

He cried himself to sleep tonight over the roast leg of lamb we ate ( but he did eat some).

Cheers,

Aceyducey
 
I liked that, good laugh.

About the food, I'm happy eating healthy, but we have found that the kids eat their veg if you make it taste good.

Roast veg - bit of caijun spice mix ... nice!
Steamed veg, with cheesy sauce.
Stir fry veg with satay/black bean/honey soy.
We have 100% veg stuff just cause you don't feel like meat that meal.

But from my point of view you need to have a drink with your meal, wine.

Cheers.
Quoll
 
Acey
I'm certainly not pushing any biases.
Everyone makes their own decisions, sort of like due diligence, but it seems on this subject that there are quite a few biased on the side of non vegetarian. I have spoken with a doctor recently who said that their daughter decided herself, before the age of 5, to not eat meat. They didn't force the decision either way, but now accomodate her wishes, and back it up with learning the best alternatives/intake etc. They still eat meat, but I guess the amount is getting smaller as time goes by.
No age limits seemed to worry them. Have not heard of the age thing before.
I think the subject is blown a bit out of proportion really, because if the intake of "foods" that I have seen my younger staff have is any indication, then no amount of bulls or lambs are going to fix their health. :D
I believe there is far more benefit from organic fruit etc than other products, more benefit from cereal and nuts and pastas etc, and no I am not a rabbit and it is not boring.
But have also seen people drive themselves to an early grave, or hospital due to their excessive worry, tension, stress etc. regardless of what they ate. (also seen some who survived to their 80's on cigarretes and booze, but I can't handle the headaches. :rolleyes:
I still outwork and outpace most of the younger staff and other managers, with no pills or potions, and feel great. It seems the femaleswho go the vegetarian route need to be very aware of their iron levels and take iron tablets. (or spiralina -check spelling - a very healthy and foul smelling :eek: natural product)
I am not recommending anything, and this is my personal view only. :D
jahn
 
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