DIARY OF A POM IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA
August 31 - Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK
to our new home in Karratha, Western Australia .
Now this is a town that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.
I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday.
It was beautiful. I've finally found my new home. I love it here.
September 13 - Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. No problem
though. Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a
sun-worshipper – no blasted rain like back in Leeds!!
September 30 - Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants
today. Lots of palms and rocks. No more mowing lawns for me! Another
scorcher today, but I love it here. It’s Paradise!
October 10 - The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do
people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's windy though.
Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatizing is taking longer than we expected.
October 15 - Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree burns
over 60% of my body and had to be taken to Nickol Bay Hospital. I missed three days of work. What a dumb thing to do. Got to respect the old sun in a climate like this!
October 20 - Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I
left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the car after work,
Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck
to the upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskettes. I've
learned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.
October 25 - This wind is a bugger. It feels like a giant friggin blow
dryer.. And it's hot as hell! The home air conditioner is on the blink
and the bloody repair man charged $250 just to drive over and tell me he needs
to order parts from Perth ....The wife & the kids are complaining.
October 30 - The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still haven't
arrived for the bloody air conditioner. House is an oven so we’ve all been
sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $900,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why the hell did I ever come here?
November 4 - Finally got the blasted air-conditioner fixed.. It cost $1,500 and only gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 35. Stupid repairman, what a friggin thief.
November 8 - If one more smart ******* says 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to friggin throttle him. bloody heat! By the time I get to work, the car radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet and I
smell like baked cat. This place is the **** end of the Earth.
November 9 - Tried to run some errands after work today, wore shorts...BIG mistake, I sat on the black leather upholstery in my car. Holy Crap, I thought my **** was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and scorched my bottom. Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried **** and baked cat. I've had enough!!
November 10 -– The Weather report might as well be a bleeding recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and bloody sunny. It never friggin changes! It's been too hot to do anything for 2 full months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. WTF!
November 15 - Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place? Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the friggin pool. The only things that thrive in this hell-hole are the flies. You don't dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the little buggers!
November 20 - Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 bloody degrees today. Now the air conditioner's gone in my car. The repair man came to fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?' I wanted to shove the bleeding car up his backside. Anyway, had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the twerp.
Bloody Karratha! What kind of sick, demented, masochistic idiot would want to live here!
December 1 - WHAT!!!! The FIRST day of Summer!!!! You are friggin kidding me