Continuing to "keep up with the Jones' "

J

Jayro

Well firstly Happy new yr to you all. I cant wait for this yr. Last yr was good but we will make this yr great.

I spent new yrs eve at my brothers house down in Sydney. Now I love my brother and his wife and the bub etc etc so alls good. BUT I cant understant them and everyone has always thought he is the "sensible one". My wife and I do keep our plans and actions to ourselves to an extent but what the family does know about our investing plans they think is wasting our good yrs which we totally disagree with but hey thats fine. Apart from my mum. She thinks its great as they got me into it but my dad had to sell there IP's as he stresses BIG time and it wasnt worth it for them.

Anyhow my brother has mentioned that he would like an IP or 2 but his wife and her parents are totally against them. Plus she doesnt want to work more than 1 day per week and she does stress about the $$$ situation.

Now they are a great couple and they did earn pritty good money before she had there kid a yr back. They are both high school teachers for catholic school system and head teachers as well. She often coments about lack of money bla bla bla but they have a $10k lounge as it "had to be made in Italy" and the $8k plasma they just got., the custom made engagement ring 1/3 his yr salary, the BIG wedding. Then last night they tell us how the father inlaw went to buy a Brand new car and took my brother with him so they both came home with brand new $30k+ holden astras. Same car, same colour same everything. They have a lovely big home in Baulkam hills (with the mortgage that goes with it). And look I think its great that they have these things but I just hate the fact that my brother busts his butt off and would love to invest it then on the other hand he wastes money on these items because he thinks well "The wife doesnt want to invest or work so I may as well enjoy the money now"

Anyhow thats my little gripe. I just look at all the $$$$ they have spent on things and think that could be doing seriously good things for them. And the funny thing is that the family all think my wife and I are the "money wasters" lol. I dont get these people. As with everything and as is always said "each to there own" I know. But I hear him talk how he doesnt want to be working full time past 40 and he is about 32 now. I think there plan is to just pay off there home and it will be there home for life as they love it. And now last night he mentioned they want to go up another level. More money. I just dont see how they plan to work so little yet do so little about it :confused:

Sure you can own your own home but then what? What do you live off for the next (hopefully) 30 or 40 yrs.

Jayro
 
Why not have a chat with him and outline how you are planning for your future.

If he has a slight interest, he will ask more. If not, let it go.

You cannot change him if he doesn't want to change. He obviously has the "shopping gene" if he came home with a new car.

I well remember my father-in-law handing us a piece of paper when we were about to be married. We both had a house, so I sold mine and we bought a PPOR and hubby kept his house for an IP. His dad did up a spreadsheet showing how if we sold the IP and paid down our mortgage hard, we would own it in ten years.

Instead, we ignored his advice, and bought another IP as soon as we could and grew our wealth to a much greater extent than his plan, well intentioned as it was.

I appreciated his trying to have us avoid getting bigger and bigger debt, but we had to decide whether to take his advice or not. Your brother may need something put down on paper to show how you did what you have done so far.

If he doesn't want help, don't push it.

Wylie
 
I agree with Wylie - "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink", so to speak.

My sister was the same as your brother, Jayro - her indulgence was overseas travel. She always used to complain that she could never afford to invest (she's a single doctor, with no dependants). Several years ago, she came to visit and asked me to help her get her finances in order so that she could invest, which I did. Then she wanted to borrow books on property investing ..... then more and more books, more conversations, etc ..... and this year she is finally going to take the plunge and buy her first-ever IP. She just needed to build her confidence and to get her mind around the concept of borrowing for investment, i.e."good debt" vs "bad debt".

All you can do is be there to provide help, advice and encouragement for your brother - IF and WHEN he is ready to ask for it!!! In the meantime, go quietly about doing your own thing, regardless of comments from well-meaning rellies.

Cheers
LynnH
 
Keeping up with the Jones are ok if:

1. you have a competitive nature
2. they are bigger investors than you! :D

Cheers,

The Y-man
 
What I am concerned about is the number of 30-40 year olds who have very little savings, a small amount of superannuation and yet no assets. I am 35 (turn 36 in May) and I am meeting a lot of people who have travelled extensively (Mongolia, Nepal, India and other places which sound fantastic) and yet they do not seem to have any financial plan for their future.

What concerns me is the number of these people who will go into their 60s with diminished capacity for earning a salary and possibly even no home. How will these people survive ? And there seems to be more and more of them. Are we heading for some social catastrophe in 20 years time ?

According to the Mayan Calendar the world ends in 2012 so maybe they are hoping the mayans were right. Scary.
 
Hey all,

Well Y-man, Not "wasting" as in throwing it away but they feel we are not "enjoying" our money. But the way we look at it is that we want to REALLY enjoy things in life so if we knuckle down and enjoy property investing for the next x amount of yrs then we will have the money to do what we really want, and enjoy it for longer. Not planning on working full tie hard slog till im 60 odd thats in my plan :D And at the end of the day we are not missing out on anything really. If the wife wants a new dress or sunnys or whatever then she gets it. She is sensible and I think I am to so we know what we can and cant buy within reason. We eat well, we have nice furniture just nothing over the top. Where as my brother for example wouldnt contemplate wearing an item of clothing that wasnt big name brand.

Iv tried the chat, iv tried leaving certain books and mags around on the coffee table which he picks up has a quick flick and back down they go. Ah well I guess not everyone has to be into property or investing do they. Just hard to watch him do what he does when I think so many people would like to be on there wage and make the most of it. I guess in there eyes they are making the most of it. For now anyway. The little 15 month old has nike shoes etc that kind of stuff.

But I can see from others such as Wylie and Lynn he isnt along in his thoughts, I guess we all know people like it. Who knows hey, maybe im doing it all wrong. That "20 yrs from now" thread will be interesting in 20 yrs time to look back wont it???

Jayro.
 
I am not sure if I want to live past umm 65y.o Hopefully I would have lived life to the fullest by then.

I believe my children will not let me starve and no place to live. Hopefully I'll bring them up right so that they're fillial.

Start investing as early as possible so that you can enjoy life. I spend my profits/positive cashflow but retain my capital. Don't forget the fundamentals from rich dad poor dad.

What's the point of investing if no travelling, no shopping, no gadgets, no outings, no restaurants etc ?

But lay down the groundwork first. It doesn't take long.
 
Hey Jayro! You know you're not doing it wrong.
I read somewhere recently (can't remember where) that there is a fundamental difference between the poor and the wealthy. The poor spend and invest what's left. The wealthy invest then spend what's left.
I think that is so true.
I know what you mean about watching someone you car about take a path that is contrary to your own. You just have to let it go. Sounds like you have done all you can. Doesn't mean you have to stop trying though. Just stop carrying the burden on your shoulders. It's not yours to carry.
Keep leaving the books and mags around. One day, there might just be an article that stikes a chord and sets wheels in motion.

Rob
 
coastymike said:
What I am concerned about is the number of 30-40 year olds who have very little savings, a small amount of superannuation and yet no assets. I am 35 (turn 36 in May) and I am meeting a lot of people who have travelled extensively (Mongolia, Nepal, India and other places which sound fantastic) and yet they do not seem to have any financial plan for their future.

What concerns me is the number of these people who will go into their 60s with diminished capacity for earning a salary and possibly even no home. How will these people survive ? And there seems to be more and more of them. Are we heading for some social catastrophe in 20 years time ?

According to the Mayan Calendar the world ends in 2012 so maybe they are hoping the mayans were right. Scary.
Click to expand...

HeHe:D Sounds just like the last lot of tenants in one IP we have. They are now in their late 50's and just as you described. When we gave them notice to leave (house needed extensive work) they screamed at us and accused us of being greedy and putting them out on the street. Earlier, they had informed us that there was no point buying a house as the world was indeed going to end in 2012.:eek:

Louise
 
Its all about balance - We have no intention of not enjoying ourselves along the way but anyone who needs a $10000 lounge and $8000 plasma is just insane in my opinion. However, there's nothing you can do about it, you just need to smile, nod and pretend to care about their "toys"

You are on the right track, one day you will be able to buy whatever you want anyway.. His wife does sound like a pain though.
 
My much-loved sister went and worked in a war-torn third-world country for 6 months and returned with $100K in her bank account. So what was the first thing she did when she got back? She went and bought a $92K car...

I just don't get it, I really don't. :rolleyes:

Regards, Tracey
 
Ozperp...I have no idea what cars are made that cost 92K. :eek:..... but I bet it's red. ;)

Anyhow thats my little gripe. I just look at all the $$$$ they have spent on things and think that could be doing seriously good things for them.
Click to expand...
In similar vein, my host on Boxing Day had a cabinet of dvds stacked to shoulder height that are apparently 3 deep on the shelves. Each row has another two rows behind it. The collection is three times as big as it appears.

Very proud he was, but it is a deposit-worth. Equivalent in savings could see the couple into their 1st property. Together for about 5 yrs now with the toys collection ever-growing. 'Toys' are fun. But what a pain to move the lot every 12 months when your lease runs out.
 
Well Frank thats all I could do, was smile and say thats nice mate. I did feel bad because initially I showed no interest or excitment when he showed me the cataloge so later in the night I got him to show me the book and I said yeh nice nice nice and all that stuff but then I thought not once has he said ah good on ya or thats a nice house, or good buy that, NOTHING. Not that I do it for the pat on the back but you get my drift.

And dont get me wrong, we do not go with out. Like I mentioned before we have our little treats along the way. Just feel good to be honest to miss out on a few things but see the assests accumulate and the bank balance climbing (slowly), and the LVR come down. They are the main things for us for the next few yrs. Still young so plenty of time to enjoy it all a little later on.

I hear what you are saying Tracey. What plenty of people on this forum would have loved to have done with that $100k your sister brang home hey :D

And the car straight out the showroom drops $10k or so. Hmmmmm

Jayro
 
Wiah-ga,
I completely understand what you are saying! We were out for dinner last night at a friends house. The house was beautiful , it honestly was! Brand new house & the furniture looked lovely. Everything purchased so that it was colour co-ordinated etc etc, children (aged 6yo & 4 yo) had brand new tvs, playstations & leap frogs in their rooms, new trampoline etc. Divine! Problem is... they are renting it. Had to sell their PPOR due to credit card debt but continuuing to buy buy buy despite having to now rent.

To be honest, I did feel a tad jealous of all that they appeared to have, but at the end of the day, it is I who will own my own home & hopefully other properties & no doubt they will still be renting but with beautiful furniture & all the latest gadgets!

Above Average
 
Originally Posted by Jayro
... The little 15 month old has nike shoes etc that kind of stuff..
Click to expand...

I think we all have those desires. Who doesn't want the latest gadgets? High Def Camcorder, SLR camera, Plasma (I'll admit that I could never go back to a small 51cm TV), and all the other brilliant gadget inventions etc etc

When I think about my own life, I'm probably just as bad if not, worse than your bro. I want everything, the overseas holidays, shopping, nice house, not have to work etc etc

Josh has had numerous pairs of Nikes, Adidas and Reeboks. He wears Ralph Lauren, Herringbourne shirts, Esprit etc and he has travelled a fair bit for a 2y.o... been on a plane more than 20 times. Already been to Disneyland. But I'm a shopaholic and never pay full price for anything. I bought a lot of shoes from Sportsworld in UK...and if you know Sportsworld...things are dirt cheap when on Sale...like less than 5 quid. The money you save shopping in UK sale can pay for the trip.

It's really nothing compared to how much I spent trying to conceive him. I want to enjoy myself...I love buying things for him, especially clothes...it's just so cute.

However, there's a better way to have everything you want and I think Jayro, you're on the right track.

What I do find a waste of money is alcohol, cigarettes and gambling. We rarely ever go out at night, we don't drink often either.

Eventhough I feel very spoilt and greedy for wanting it all, my wants are still reasonable compared to some of the goals of people here....:)

I want 2 late model cars under $40k for both
a med size house in the suburbs
private schooling
overseas holidays - economy and budget accommodation, even budget airlines
nice furniture

But a lot of people on SS aim much bigger - refer to Alex's post :p

a waterfront mcmansion
boat
first class travel
european car

So invest wisely and aim for the sky! forget about keeping up with the joneses...you'll be in another league.
 
ethereal said:
HeHe:D Sounds just like the last lot of tenants in one IP we have. They are now in their late 50's and just as you described. When we gave them notice to leave (house needed extensive work) they screamed at us and accused us of being greedy and putting them out on the street. Earlier, they had informed us that there was no point buying a house as the world was indeed going to end in 2012.:eek:

Louise
Click to expand...

Nah; they're wrong. I've heard that one about 15 times over my lifetime. I think the last "end of the world" I heard was supposed to happen about 2 years ago.

Still waiting.
 
Last edited:
Good post,

I think most people are in the same boat, my own sister included,
As they say though, ordinary people will see ordinary results, thats nothing new,

Most stock up on depreciating "assets" because theyre cheap but add up to lots of money in the end, because theyre scared to invest, or dont know enough about it, or even just to keep up with the Jones' to me, this kind of mentality is just plain stupid, I could go out today and buy myself a new Monaro but I know that if I stick with the old 95 model, Ill be much better of long term and can leverage my savings, having them effectively work for me, the longer theyre at it, the harder they will work.
Sure, every now and then I do get the urge to buy a new car or something but know that Im financially wiser than most and will be rewarded for being that way. when I get that feeling I look at someone driving an expensive new car and chuckle to myself :D
 
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