Excuses, excuses

Anybody come across any belters like these ones over the years! These were thaken from a collected group of UK property agents;

1. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the childeren until it is cleared.

2. I want some repairs done to my stove as it has back fired and burnt my knob off (ouch).

3. This is to let you know there is a smell coming from the man next door.

4. The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?

5. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from wall.

6. I request your permission to remove my draws in the kitchen (ok!).

7. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

8. The person next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

9. Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk. Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.

10. Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.

11. Will you please send someone to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

12. Will you please send a man to repair my downspout. I am an old age pensioner and need it straight away.

13. Could you please send someone to fix our bathtap. My wife got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.

14. I want to complain about the farmer across the raod. Every morning at 5.30am his **** wakes me up, and it is getting to much.

15. When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wifes new drawers and made a mess. Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy.

Honestly :)
 
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Thanks for the laugh, Jarrod- made my day!
Can't say I have too many to rival these but I was told by a tenant once that he had to pull out of the lease (this was after he'd signed it and then realised his predicament and was obviously trying to come up with something feasible to get out of it) because he didn't want to catch a cold going between his bedroom (downstairs with no internal access) in the mornings in his pj's to the upstairs bathroom. Claimed it would play havoc with his asthma and he hadn't noticed the property didn't have internal stairs when he inspected it!!! :rolleyes:
My PM showed little mercy and made him pay compensation anyway, for my loss of rent, but I thought it was possibly the weakest excuse I've heard for breaking a lease....:)
 
Thanks liverpoolharryk. I laughed & laughed. Why are they always Poms I ask myself? I'm being sensitive as I come from the same part of the world.

Laughter is wonderful medicine.
Blossomoz :)
 
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