family influence on your investing?

[handyandy]

Hi All

Reading a few posts and looking at my own situation I started wondering how much our early years and family history has to do with our drive to invest and improve our situation.

Personally I come from an immigrant family, one of 8 kids so things were real tight throughout my childhood. There certainly was no talk about investing or any financial discussions whatsoever except that there was not enough money to pay the bills etc.

Beyond these early years I became fairly successful with both my job and career and also with investing but a number of my siblings only do the standard ie job, mortgage and now superand generally risk adverse, with only one sister having investment properties and risen beyond the average.

So really is the early live background an influence later in life, in which case you would expect all siblings the be more adventurous, or is it down to the person regardless of the family influence.


Thus the question is does anybody come from a family full of investors or are you the lone investor in the family?

Cheers

Andreas

 

[The Y-man]

I grew up in an upper middle class scene - high income, high spending. Although my dad had a couple of investment properties, he was fairly risk averse.

I was pretty much heading down the track of the wage/super and lots of spending track, until I got married. My brother is still on the standard path to the "Peter Costello Retirement Plan".

My wife comes from a family the started in poverty and grew to be quite financially significant through years of hard work. The whole family seems to be into investing.

It was a big culture shock for me to go from one set of thinking to the other.

At the end of the day, I feel that family influence is huge - the culture and values handed down from your parents.

It is really interesting when those cultures, values and beliefs clash - sometimes they work out (like in our case) - sometimes it's rocky.

For myself, it was a case of changing the mindset from spending $5,000 today, to the possiblity of spending $5,000,000 10 years from now. My dreams and desires were outgrowing my capacity to earn - this was the "justification" in my mind to go to investing.

For my wife, I feel it is still the case of an abject fear of poverty that is the primary (and very powerful) driver - to have enough to cover all possibilities.

Cheers,

The Y-man

 

[lizzie]

we didn't live in poverty, but when i was young my parents were adverse to spending money on doodads. i wouldn't call it frugal - they were just different than most parents in how they spent. didn't have investment properties but considered taking us three kids on a two month european trip more important than buying the latest fashion clothes - mum used to buy courdaroy by the roll each winter (now i can't wear the stuff), learnt a thousand and one ways to cook mince and spent the savings on extending the ppor.

i do believe that perhaps more than your family - a lot of the influence comes from friends. peer pressure is very powerful.

 

[Chilli]

Lizzie,
Weird !!!! I know it seems like I am following you around the forum but I could not believe it, that you have just described how my parents spent their money when I was young. Except all of that happened in another country.
I came to Aus by myself as a refugee 20 odd years ago.
So for me I guess the motivation if for security reason. It is also because of my desire to be able to help other family members (there are a lot of them... )

 

[House_Keeper]

My parents were frugal and had a few investment properties.

However, they didn't teach me anything. I wish they did.

Being the lone investor in the family has made it a learning experience...

Cheers,

 

[Jindaro]

Family influence

Hi All

Reading a few posts and looking at my own situation I started wondering how much our early years and family history has to do with our drive to invest and improve our situation.

Now that's a very interesting question that I haven't stopped to think about before. My parents worked hard to pay off their PPOR. They then bought an investment property on Lake Macqurie (NSW) and from what I know, the location was chosen at Dad's request. Mum wanted Sydney. Over the 10-12 yrs they owned it, the property never achieved any capital growth. Interest rates went up to nearly 20% and mum looks back and sees what they did wrong.

Mum has always been pushing me to buy a property since I started work at age 18, but I could never see past the whole clubbing thing. But things move on and out of the 3 kids:

* I (38yo) now have a PPOR and and IP and about to purchase another. I'm the instigator of the family.

* First brother (36yo) has no property and appears to have no interest. He rents, owns minimal possessions and a car as he likes to be able to pack up easily and move on to the next place. I've tried to interest him to no avail.

* Second brother (35yo) has just come out of a separation where they owned a PPOR and an IP. He retained the IP (good idea) and is now looking to buy another IP. Second brother and I are considering combining our finances and equity to move ourselves along a bit faster.

So, 2 out of 3 aint bad Mum is pretty happy about it all and always comments that she wishes she was 20 years younger so she could do it all again. But in the meantime, she is happy to help us out wherever we need it.

I think one of the biggest factors that allows me to budget and save is that when I was 16 I wanted a horse. My parents said fine but you have to pay and support it. I sold Avon, did paper rounds, worked at Maccas to support my horse and this helped me understand the importance of money and how to budget it and put it to best use. I consider it to be one of the best presents my parents ever gave me.

 

[lady venture]

I also come from an immigrant family of two kids.
My parents former life in Europe was exceptionally hard so they made sure we knew the value of a dollar. My mother would always drum into me the old saying of "money not growing on trees" and if I wanted something I should save for it. My parents still live a frugal life but they did manage to venture out and buy two IP's which was for our future. My brother and I were given one each and he now has his as a PPOR. I've kept mine as an IP and have recently purchased my PPOR. My brother is incredibly risk averse when it comes to investing but he really loves purchasing doodads.
I realise I've been given an incredible advantage with my first IP and plan to capitalize on it by buying using the equity to purchase another IP in a few months.

As much as family has influenced my financial decisions, I agree with Lizzie that friends are much more of an influence. I used to listen to their negativity and think " I can't do this" " They must be right, my friends just care for me and don't want me to get burnt." It took me a long time to drown out their negativity and decide once and for all that I was going to do things differently.

Most of my friends don't understand why I (at 28) am planning now for my financial future when I'm still so young. Most can't see past the clubs/cafes/bar scene to understand that the earlier you start the easier it gets later on. They all tend to have an opinion on WHY it's not a good time to invest or HOW I'm going to get ripped off
and how I'm wasting my youth.
I don't talk to my friends anymore about my goals/plans as I know they will just sneer or laugh.

I still value their friendship but I won't ever let them talk me out of fulfilling my goals again.

 

[lizzie]

Lizzie,
Weird !!!! I know it seems like I am following you around the forum but I could not believe it, that you have just described how my parents spent their money when I was young. Except all of that happened in another country.

so was mine in another country ... dooplegangers married to dooplegangers - what are the odds?

 

[stargazer]

Hi all

Interesting thread. I was an only child of immigrant parents. There was not much money around and basically existed. There was no drive by my parents for wealth etc.

My mother couldn't speak much english and didn't really understand or didn't want to get involved in future type aspirations.

When i was 16 my father passed on. So i was left with a huge responsibility with finances etc. Lots of mistakes and bad advice the wrong people took advantage of the situation and lined there own pockets and left us doing it hard.

There was no life insurance even though there was relative that handled our insurances they squirmed there way around everything and made it so hard that we didn't get a cent.

So i have been cautious of people in regards to giving advice for fees and commissions and always wanting there piece of cake irrespective of outcomes.

So in all i am very cautious with people that promise alot for fees and commissions etc.. The most honest and open help i have had in recent times has been from members of this forum.

Whilst i can see the importance of taking action, honest and independent advice is hard to find. So self education and conversing with people from like mindness is a way of closing the gap.

regards
BC

 

[Ray Brown]

My dad warned, "there's no money in realestate"

So I went against his wishes...

 

[Kennethkohsg]

Dear All,

1. I saw my own father bought a landed property in Singapore for S$121,000 in the mid 1970s which shot up all the way to almost S$2 million in 1996 as well as also saw the same property value drop down heavily in value over the past 8 years, to about S$1 million in today's market condition. I also learnt what is meant by "asset rich but cashflow poor" as is presently being experienced by a lot of property investors in Singapore.

2. I also saw how my wife's grandparents accumulated great wealth through property investment/ownership in Singapore and only after one generation, also see much of her family wealth and many of her family's properties were lost to the Singapore Govt through its newly enacted property laws since 1960s, such as Land Control Acts and the compulsory Land Acquisition Act.

3. So I decide that if I want to be "rich" in Singapore, I must always be able to "pre-empt" my own Govt's next policy move well ahead of time and that "being rich" does not mean able to "staying rich" indefinitely.

4. Thus, I am more comfortable investing in the Australian residential properties and building and accumulating my wealth here than in Singapore.

5. Thank you.

regards,
Kenneth KOH

 

[geoffw]

We've had some thread in the past about this. While it's good to get new views from new people, it's also good to see what people have said before.

One thread is in http://www.somersoft.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17841

I remember some other threads, but I can't find them quickly.

 

[Chilli]

Lizzie,
Sorry not same country then, I don't have a clue what it means .
Cheers,
salsa

 

[Pablo]

When I was growing up I was taught to get a good job, buy a nice house, have a family, and then pay the house off.

My wife and I were going good up until going from step 3 to 4 where we found it very hard financially. We have managed to rectify this since and are now moving along well. But this has made me see that there is a fault in my parents teaching. That is why I am getting into property investing now and hopefully by the time my children are 18 I will be able to help them over that first hurdle of buying a property.

 

[lizzie]

Lizzie,
Sorry not same country then, I don't have a clue what it means .
Cheers,
salsa

opps - i meant, we lived in another country at the time, not in australia

 

[blossomoz]

I grew up to be seen & not heard. My parents came from very different backgrounds. My father's family never owned their own home & I think life was a battle. My mother on the other hand came from a family not unfamiliar with money; they were reasonably well off but were 'trade'.
My father did very well for himself. He gained a job were he saw how people made money so he set himself on the path & did very well both in his job & in investing.
However he was of a generation were women stayed at home so consequently he taught my brother all about investment but not the girls in the family. Investing was men's business. How I wish he had taught me.
Out family was very dysfunctional so I grew up feeling that I was dense. This as had a profound impact on my life.
I married someone who went to work but didn't want to work, so it was like pushing a barrow uphill. One week he brought home $5!!!!
Also if we had known how to invest things may have been different, & later when the info was out there we didn't have the money.

Now I have remarried & my husband came from a very different background to myself. His family fled their country & he came here as a refugee. The family wasn't good with money so they struggled & money was always short. He said that he never dreamt of having investments until he met me. Investments were for people much higher up the social ladder.

We are really good for one another as he is a good balance for me, though I wish he was involved in investing. He is very happy to go along with what I do.

My siblings, my brother has done very, very well & the girls are all middling.

Personally, I think the best we can do for our children is give them the confidence & self esteem to be able to do things for themselves, & teach them about money.
cheers
blossomoz

 

[tubs]

I was at lunch with all my family a few months ago, and commented that I'd really prefer not to work (as in a f/t job). My mother said she hoped that she hadn't raised me to be lazy.

Just goes to show the ingrained attitude that exists in a family. I come from a long line of people who have worked for other people, mainly in education and science/engineering and the assumption is that you go to school, uni and then get a job. At the end of it you retire.

Its taken me a lot to break free of this mind set, but I've got there. It really goes to show how accepted the attitude that says you have to get a job until you retire is. My brother and two sisters each own their own houses and nothing more. When I tell them about my investing activities they look at me like I'm an alien, so I dont really mention it anymore.

Tubs

 

[skater]

IIts taken me a lot to break free of this mind set, but I've got there. It really goes to show how accepted the attitude that says you have to get a job until you retire is. My brother and two sisters each own their own houses and nothing more. When I tell them about my investing activities they look at me like I'm an alien, so I dont really mention it anymore.

We are in a similar position. Hubby is the youngest of seven. His family were hardworking but not into investment. One of his brothers has one IP, and a couple of others have a small parcel of shares. We don't mention property anymore unless we are asked. We have already been labeled as greedy because "how many houses do you need?" is the general tone of any conversation. His mother would have a coronary (spelling?) if she had any idea of the amount of debt we carry. (All good debt I must add)

On my side of the equation, I was the eldest of two. My parents were always strapped for cash, but always had enough for the cigarettes they both chain smoked, the beer they consumed & the lottery tickets they bought. Dad also purchased a new car every two years. Other than that we lived a very ordinary life, with strict budgeting (so we could afford that important new car). Any money that was saved during the year was always blown on a holiday. No other savings or investments.

When Dad retired he got a sizable (at the time) super payment which he promptly lost in the stockmarket. They sold their house for $40k less than it's value (this was in the late 80's) to someone connected with the realestate agency they listed it with. It sold the same day it was listed (surprise, surprise) and they bought a retirement unit as an investment in their retirement lifestlye. It is such a good investment that the rent Mum has to pay (Dad passed away several years ago) is of a sizeable enough nature that she gets rent assistance. Neither one of them were ever interested in discussing these matters with me, because what would I know? And any suggestion that I ever made was always shafted without ever looking into it to see if it was valid. They always trusted "professionals" with any advice without doing any due diligence.

Mum thinks we are from another planet. She thinks what we do is "risky".

 

[alwayscurious]

Extremely grateful to my parents.

My parents were not rich. They were not really upper middle class either.

I did have enough. I remember also my parents always having people around for dinner and helping people out.

They may not have had too much for themselves but they did teach me extremely important things.

Tithing / giving.
Budgetting
being a provider for the family.

For which I am extremely grateful.

I forgot to add - they are happy for me to do well and a bit nervous too. But are excited when I share successes.

I love my parents!

 

[Bargain Hunter]

Feeling a little melancholy

My family grew up on a single income from my father working as a storeman. By the time I was a fourth year apprentice I was earning more than him. Even though we did not have alot of money all the children (there were seven of us) went to Catholic Schools paying full fees.

We got a good education and all the boys became tradesmen. Sisters worked until they married and had kids, although the second eldest went back to work to send her kids to boarding school.

Our education was my parents investment in the future. They bought a house and paid it off over 25 years. My mother was wonderful at making the dollars stretch, making many of our clothes (even shool uniforms and underwear) and keeping us well fed.

My father worked for about thirty years with the one company and was retrenched at the age of 64. At 67 he passed away.

As life expectancy increases the need to continue to work is a reality for many. My theory is that people will be 'forced' to work within a couple of years of their death (cynical view I know). That is why we invest, we intend to enjoy life, retiring young (before 50) and on an income in excess of our current earnings.

Even though the writing is on the wall, and has been clearly illustrated by my fathers departing. I am the only serious investor in my family.