Family tragedy + contract about to go unconditional

[Perchy]

Hi All,

My dad is dying of cancer, so it made me evaluate my family's & my situation. I am mentally muddled and traumatized right now, and worrying about finances should be the last thing. But with a contract on a 2 bedroom unit going unconditional on the 9th of July, sitting around crying won't help. I need intelligent help, your collective intelligence as being outsiders won't be muddled by emotions. I'm grateful for any advice

As I said, 2 bedroom unit in the heart of Caboolture CBD - everything is within walking or up to 1klm away: hospital, tafe, uni, schools, shopping, markets, hwy, police station, etc. Purchase price is 189900 & I can cover the 20% deposit with own savings + FHOG, & cover extra costs like legals, settlement, etc. I was going with RAMS fixed 10 years at 8.75% P&I originally, thinking of splitting 50/50 with fixed & variable. For arguments sake, my weekly repayment is 278 max 300/week, say another 50-70 for body corp & council rate per week. I originally bought to live with my partner, now I'm not sure about that relationship either. Rental appraisal can be b/t 180-210/week. I am willing to look at other loan options as the loan contract is a preapproval and the most i lose out is the valuation fee etc.

My parents own a house that easily gets 300K if not more even in this slow market. My mum (they are immigrants and not as savvy financially ok) says mortgage is approx $1100/mo, they have tenants who are paying approx $230/week (I believe $250/week is the bottom of the market for Inala for a 3 bedroom home on say 800sqm block, guessing atm - just know its big). The family, me incl, is living with my bro who has his own mortgage, but I think he is handling ok has savings, thinking about an IP. The tenants are good but I don't want my mum to have the hassle of managing so I either take over or get a PM.

I have saved for 2 years to get my own property + it be closer to work. But if I move into the unit I feel like I am abandoning my family. There's a few scenarios I thought up:

- continue with buying of the unit, give my mum say $250-300/week (& survive of $50/week) &:
= live in for 6 months to get FHOG, then rent out
= rent it out for 11 months then move in for the FHOG, live in 6 months then rent it out
= live in it

The problem with this scenario is what if I need money for the funeral (I think they are like 10K?) i won't have spare cash as it will go to the deposit + this unit needs a makeover albeit the cheapest I can do. My friends are willing to help financially for the funeral arrangements, but I hate to be a financial burden on anyone, other than banks, I've never borrowed more than $100 from anyone and not pay it back within a week.

- don't continue with buying the unit and put all my money towards funeral & their mortgage, get them on better loan if possible, and cut down their debt (and save for my own down the track) & handle their finances for them.

- sell my parents home, pay down all debt, and then my mum have savings to live on (say 200K) for retirement (she is 47yo), while she continue to live with my bro & I buy the unit

that's all the options i can think of.. if you guys can think of anymore.. I be grateful for all advice

 

[willfong]

Sorry to hear about your dad.
My 2c is to prioritise your family and personal problems at this point of time.
Good deals come and go, you will find another one in future when your family situation has improved. The property market doesn't seem to be going anywhere fast in the near term anyway.

 

[The Y-man]

My sympathies Perchy for your situation.

My suggesiton would be to hold off the pruchase (assuming you have not signed anything yet) until your family situation settles down a bit.

Property deals come around once a week or so..... other things are once in a lifetime.

Cheers,

The Y-man

 

[Rockstar]

I agree with above posts Perchy. Let it go and sort out your personal situation. You don't need the extra trauma at this point in time.

Kindest regards and sympathy, Ian

 

[WinstonWolfe]

I've always felt buyers do well to heed that

"There's a deal of the decade every week."

 

[Player]

Hi Perchy,

It is indeed difficult to think clearly in such trying times.

From your post, I'm assuming that by going unconditional on 9th July, you've signed up already.

What are the subject to clauses, ? finance, pest, building or none of these.

What do you stand to lose if you don't proceed? The whole of 10 % deposit, or less.

If you have a finance clause, can you not end the contract on the basis that you've sought finance however it was not to your satisfaction. ?? depend on you wording.

What if (assuming you proceed) you only offered 10 % down and took out mortgage insurance and capitalised that amount into the loan. That may leave you enough for the funeral costs by way of cash in hand, and not cancel the contract (assuming you signed) and avoid losing your deposit and any potential legal repercussions.

Some further info may help to make the suggestions by one all more relevent to your situation.

As mentioned by others, first priority is your family. I faced a similar situation 18 months ago and was undergoing DD on an interstate purchase. I hadn't contracted it and preferred to remain with my family and to support my mum (I am an only child) and I was there when my father took his last breath. It was a very special time to farewell my dad as his suffering ended. Without sounding disrespectful I was pleased that he was relieved.

As I mentioned earlier, more info may help to make the opinions posted here more appropriate.

Be strong for your mum and be there to support your father at this trying time.

God's strength to your family

 

[LynnH]

Perchy

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. As others have said, your family must be your priority at this difficult time. There will always be another property deal down the track, so if you can possibly get out of this contract before it goes unconditional (and without it costing you too much), then do so, IMHO.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Cheers
LynnH

 

[Spectre]

Family before business... simple rule.

But at the same time would wonder what your dad would want for you to do. Get out and be your own person, stay at home etc.

Theres still the option of buying the place and renting it out and doing a short term rental, move into it before a years up or contacting the vendor and asking for a bit of breathing space due to the circumstances.

I understand your wanting to support your family just now but at the same time you do have to keep moving.

never hurts to discuss it with your family as well

 

[GoAnna!]

I agree that family is the most important thing and need to be your focus right now.

But in regards to funeral expenses if your mum is struggling financially there would be some help from Centrelink and funerals can be paid off over time. They also pay carers. I know this is what my mum did. It might be worthwhile to check if your mum is getting all the financial assistance she is entitled to at this difficult time. The last thing you all want to be thinking about is money.

I am not an expert so this may help.
http://www.centrelink.gov.au/internet/internet.nsf/filestores/hd001_0707/$file/hd001_0707en.pdf

Wishing you a miracle.

 

[pennyk]

Hi All,

My dad is dying of cancer, so it made me evaluate my family's & my situation. I am mentally muddled and traumatized right now, and worrying about finances should be the last thing. But with a contract on a 2 bedroom unit going unconditional on the 9th of July, sitting around crying won't help. I need intelligent help, your collective intelligence as being outsiders won't be muddled by emotions. I'm grateful for any advice

I originally bought to live with my partner, now I'm not sure about that relationship either.

I have saved for 2 years to get my own property + it be closer to work. But if I move into the unit I feel like I am abandoning my family. There's a few scenarios I thought up:

The problem with this scenario is what if I need money for the funeral (I think they are like 10K?) i won't have spare cash as it will go to the deposit + this unit needs a makeover albeit the cheapest I can do. My friends are willing to help financially for the funeral arrangements, but I hate to be a financial burden on anyone, other than banks, I've never borrowed more than $100 from anyone and not pay it back within a week.

Sorry to hear about this situation...
My father died last year, after a short illness. While it was extremely stressful, I can honestly say that it was one of the most precious times of my life, and I wouldn't give the experience up for anything. I developed a whole new level of repect and love for my dad in the last week of his life and at his funeral. Make sure you take time to reflect together on your dad's life and the influence he has had on you and others around him. Deal with any outstanding issues you may have, and give him a really good send off.

In terms of the financial situation, I guess my only advice is to not get "stuck". A few months before dad's illness, my hubby and I were considering the possibility of moving in with mum and dad.... mum has dementia, and we needed a bigger home, which they have, and its a nicer area to live, and would have been financially beneficial. But I felt like if we had moved in with them, they would have become dependent upon us and we would never have been able to move out. I think it is important to have enough time with your family at this time, but don't put your life on hold. My tendency would to actually be to go ahead with the move. It could be really helpful for you to have a place to "escape" to which is away from the stresses of your family. For me, being able to come home to my house and my family has been one of the keys of getting through the challenges of the last year.

My other comment would be that its not a good time to be trying to re-evaluate a relationship. I remember the chaotic emotions when my dad got sick and died, and trying to care for my mum etc, and the stress on my marraige.... and I was just surviving emotionally. I would just ride the storm together for a while and see how things go. These times put alot of stress on relationships, but if you can get through it, you should find alot of strength and good things grow out of the difficulties.

Good Luck with everything.

Pen

 

[Perchy]

Hi all,

Thank you all for your kind words, and its great to hear of you who have met such adversity in your life and able to move on with life.

I'm greedy - i want to have my cake and eat it too. I want to be able to take care of my parents, and able to have my dream too, hence the various options.

I saved for 2 years, looked for 1 year, finally got the contract, and literally have everything in place for settlement (well 2k short, settlement end of september, so easily cover it). It would've made life easier, instead of commuting to work 2.5 hrs each day so not only as a long term investment it would've been good for lifestyle choice too.

GoAnna - thanks w/ regards to centrelink we are in the process of filling in. & see what else is available.

Thank you all - please take care of your family & may life treat you all generously.

 

[Buzz]

I am so sorry to hear about your situation and I agree family first, be there and try not to make too many new decisions.

Having said that after 2 years you have already made a decision to buy this place and I can only but assume that if you have signed the contract you will loose deposit - which would put you in a worse situation.

My thoughts:-
- assuming Centrelink comes through or - that the funeral place has a payment plan - I am sure you will find they do - let's remove that from the equation
- check out what if will cost you to get out of the contract for the property if you have too cover funeral cost - which may be awhile away, then you knoe for sure your options.
- Speak to your broker or RAMS person - whowever has found you this loan - as you have found life can spin on a pin and locking yourself into a 10 year fixed rate could definitely come back to bite you - if you need to sell or access equity in the next 10 years and break the loan the costs will be thousands. Speak to your consultant and discuss the options of either reducing the fixed rate to a foreseeable timeframe or stay variable. They will be able help with this, you have not signed anything so you can change your loan structure.
- Finally you need not make the decision of when you move into the property straight away. You could rent the property out on a short lease until you work through what suits. However maybe the 2.5hrs saved travelling could be spent with your family.

There is a number of groups you might find that you could speak to about your situation, ie how much you need to live on, how much financial support would be available for your Mum through the Govt, how much you need to contribute for out of pocket expenses if you decide to buy the place and live elsewhere for a while. I think the Salvos and Centrelink would be the place to start.

I truly wish you all the best.

Jane