Help getting out of debt.! Please read.

[WattleIdo]

Agree with what others have said especially tobe.
Once you give your brother a few links and referrals get right out of the way. There's not much that family members can do except love and repect each other.

Here's a great book: How to get out of debt, stay out of debt and live prosperously - Jerold Mundis.

 

[redwing]

Hi Compleks

I have a sister who is a bum magnet, she attracts ***holes, all you can do is give advice and sit on the sidelines and watch the drama unfold; it beats days of our lives any day of the week

You can suggest, offer advice etc, but until they 'want' to make a change........

 

[roe]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5gOmqwjeO0

When I was young I came this book some years ago
one of a few book I remember that has changed me for the better
good beginner book for someone like your brother

http://www.amazon.com/Turn-Your-Deb...r=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=debt+into+wealth+john+lu

 

[The Y-man]

The thing is, the first impression I got from the original post (and I might have it toally wrong) was that he doesn't come across as much of a book reader....

The Y-man

 

[Compleks]

he doesn't come across as much of a book reader....

Haha. You assume correctly.

I appreciate the recomendations though. Perhapse if he does really want to get on the right track he might even decide to read them...

 

[MTR]

Please help me.!

My brother is basically my financial polar opposite. I keep out of his business for the most part, but it has come up recently that he is in quite a bit of debt.
Credit cards, personal loans, never paid tax, parking fines etc...

I don't know all the details or just how deep he is, but I assume it's not a good situation. He basically refuses to acknowledge it, and just throws out letters from the bank. To make it worse, he hasn't been working lately and his next job wont start for a few more months (he is a chippy and sub contractor).

I'm genuinely concerned that he is going to end up in serious trouble if he doesn't sort his ***** out asap.

I don't know how to help him and I'm not sure he would listen if I did.
I've seen ads on tv for financial companies specializing in debt relief. I was wondering if anyone here would recommend one of these services?

I'm open to all suggestions. I think he's finally realizing that he can't just ignore this anymore, and I think he will go and seek advice if I can point him in the right direction.

He's drowning and doesn't have a clue how to swim.
Please help me get him back on track.

Identical scenario with my brother, over many many years pots of money made, pots of money down the drain.

This is reality, you can provide a solution to their problem, which is logical to get them out of the sh$t, but the reality is if they are not prepared to take the advice you are wasting your time.

"You can take a horse to water but you cant make it drink" unfortunately that is the reality.

There will be a deep underlying problem with their particular scenario, my brother's scenario may be different from your brother's but unfortunately we can not help them unless they are prepared to acknowledge they have a problem and prepared to take appropriate action.

It may taken them hitting rock bottom before they get real, sad I know but reality.

Cheers
MTR

 

[ok180]

I agree with MTR and others, as bad as it sounds you really have to let them work it out on their own. I believe it is worth trying to guide someone until they are about 25. If they haven't worked it out by then with some help they probably never will.

I have a cousin like this too, a tradie, earns good money, lives at home, mid 30's. Keeps saying he wants to buy a a house and get his **** together but never does. I have tried to advise him a bit but I am finding it is driving a wedge between us the more I try so I have backed off now. It's his life, he has been given the opportunities and will have to figure it out.

 

[TMNT]

Im in two minds as a parent, imagine if your child was drowning in debt, lets say they earn $1 per hour and were in $1000 of debt, thats a years wages working part time, thats the equivalent of lets say $70k for a working adult,

now as a parent you dont like seeing your child drowning in debt, getting debt collectors on to them (lets assume the debt collectors are kids from schools)

for $1000 you can solve their problems, $1000 isnt like a big deal for me

you have the option to save their kneecaps and get them out of all their financial problems for $1000, and hope they learn

or you have the option for tough love and let them sort it out themselves,

so where do you draw the line??????

 

[Compleks]

I would offer advice and assistance in coming up with a strategy by which they can earn that $1000 and get themselves out of debt. In the long run they will always learn a lot more, as opposed to being bailed out.
This is assuming they are in debt due to their own stupidity and not some other unfortunate circumstance.

If it was time critical and serious physical harm were at stake, then sure, bail them out. But only under the condition that they will have to repay every last cent.

It's all situational though.
In my case I'm simply offering some guidance on where he can look should he be ready to sort his finances out. He got himself there and he is capable of turning it around if he really wants to. I'm not going to bail him out though.

 

[BayView]

Im in two minds as a parent, imagine if your child was drowning in debt, lets say they earn $1 per hour and were in $1000 of debt, thats a years wages working part time, thats the equivalent of lets say $70k for a working adult,

now as a parent you dont like seeing your child drowning in debt, getting debt collectors on to them (lets assume the debt collectors are kids from schools)

for $1000 you can solve their problems, $1000 isnt like a big deal for me

you have the option to save their kneecaps and get them out of all their financial problems for $1000, and hope they learn

or you have the option for tough love and let them sort it out themselves,

so where do you draw the line??????

Good point.

I would bail them out if I had the resources, but if they have a track record of financial irresponsibility, the help will be with some conditions attached - they need to learn the lesson and not make the same mistake and expect a free hand out of trouble the next time.

Everyone needs a leg-up once or twice in their financial lives...it's how they conduct it that is the difference in how the help should be given, I feel.

I see loads of cars come in to our workshop, owned by irresponsible younger folk who don't maintain them. And the parents come along and bail them out.

Where's the lesson?

The latest one was this week - a Mercedes SLK350 2-door sports car. The driver is a 30 year old bloke, who has treated the car disgracefully. Bald tyres - and I mean no tread, overdue for a service by more than 50,000km's, scatches, dents, not cleaned - disgraceful for such a nice car.

Latest visit cost $1500 - service, complete front brake replacement (metal on metal), check engine light on, etc...Mum and Dad paid.

He needs a good kick up the @rse.

We personally have been in financial difficulty of recent times as many will know, and my wife's parents have come to our aid in little ways here and there which really add up.

Conversely; they won't lend their two spendthrift and constantly broke sons any money.

With us though; it's not for being financially irresponsible etc, and they know this. They see us working our guts out to get out of the hole, have seen our track record over the years with investing etc; so they are happily helping and not wanting any repayment.

That's not on. I will be repaying every cent and then some.

 

[Mr. Fabulous]

I have a sister who is a bum magnet, she attracts ***holes,

redwing, it's not that she attracts ***holes, it's that she is attracted to ***holes.

 

[MTR]

Im in two minds as a parent, imagine if your child was drowning in debt, lets say they earn $1 per hour and were in $1000 of debt, thats a years wages working part time, thats the equivalent of lets say $70k for a working adult,

now as a parent you dont like seeing your child drowning in debt, getting debt collectors on to them (lets assume the debt collectors are kids from schools)

for $1000 you can solve their problems, $1000 isnt like a big deal for me

you have the option to save their kneecaps and get them out of all their financial problems for $1000, and hope they learn

or you have the option for tough love and let them sort it out themselves,

so where do you draw the line??????

I would bail them out but make it clear it would not be ongoing, it would be swim or sink if this continued. However, the last thing I would want is my child having to deal with a bad credit rating, that could cause further ongoing issues.

Fortunately, both my daughters are brilliant with money and I don't have any issues here.

If opposite was the case I guess I would have to eventually do the tough love thing which would kill me but suppose they would eventually have to take responsibility for their own actions.

 

[hobo]

wow! that would **** me off big time! being bankrupted and unit sold off for a loss over a few thousand dollar strata bill

Easy way to avoid it - pay your bills.

 

[macca446]

Im in two minds as a parent, imagine if your child was drowning in debt, lets say they earn $1 per hour and were in $1000 of debt, thats a years wages working part time, thats the equivalent of lets say $70k for a working adult,

now as a parent you dont like seeing your child drowning in debt, getting debt collectors on to them (lets assume the debt collectors are kids from schools)

for $1000 you can solve their problems, $1000 isnt like a big deal for me

you have the option to save their kneecaps and get them out of all their financial problems for $1000, and hope they learn

or you have the option for tough love and let them sort it out themselves,

so where do you draw the line??????

I bailed my son out twice as he was mixed up in the wrong crowd,and knowing what they were going to do to him worried me so I did and now he has moved out ,got a great girl renting and managing himself so some times a helping hand pays off.
Macca446