Hi there
my husband sent me an email this morning that I found very amusing - because it involves a literal interpretation of the questions involved.
No doubt other people have had funny situations arise in similar circumstances. As a legal practitioner - it is not often that things tickle the funny bone - but they do happen occasionally - such as the time we were trying to find a certificate of title for the settlement and asked the client where they normally kept it. The answer was in the fridge - which happened to have been sold in the last garage sale. Also when asking a client to send back the title and the signed transfer - have something returned to us in a postage stamp size - and being told they reduced it to try and save postage. Also seeing how someone dealt with one of the DIY wills that you can get from the newsagent - the information provided "describe the executor' - my wife is 5'2" has blond hair, blue eyes....
Just thought I would share this and if anyone has anything further to add - please join the thread
B & Q JOB APPLICATION
This is allegedly an actual job application that a 75 year old pensioner submitted to B&Q in Tunbridge Wells.
They hired him because he was so funny.....
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy *******)
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will co-operate)
DESIRED POSITION: Company's Chief Executive or Managing Director. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying in the first place – would I?
DESIRED SALARY: £150,,000 a year plus share options and a Tony Blair style redundancy package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It was a crap job.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Reader’s Digest Timeshare Free Holiday Offer, so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no!
On my breaks - yes!
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy Swedish supermodel with big tits and who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
my husband sent me an email this morning that I found very amusing - because it involves a literal interpretation of the questions involved.
No doubt other people have had funny situations arise in similar circumstances. As a legal practitioner - it is not often that things tickle the funny bone - but they do happen occasionally - such as the time we were trying to find a certificate of title for the settlement and asked the client where they normally kept it. The answer was in the fridge - which happened to have been sold in the last garage sale. Also when asking a client to send back the title and the signed transfer - have something returned to us in a postage stamp size - and being told they reduced it to try and save postage. Also seeing how someone dealt with one of the DIY wills that you can get from the newsagent - the information provided "describe the executor' - my wife is 5'2" has blond hair, blue eyes....
Just thought I would share this and if anyone has anything further to add - please join the thread
B & Q JOB APPLICATION
This is allegedly an actual job application that a 75 year old pensioner submitted to B&Q in Tunbridge Wells.
They hired him because he was so funny.....
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy *******)
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will co-operate)
DESIRED POSITION: Company's Chief Executive or Managing Director. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying in the first place – would I?
DESIRED SALARY: £150,,000 a year plus share options and a Tony Blair style redundancy package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It was a crap job.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Reader’s Digest Timeshare Free Holiday Offer, so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no!
On my breaks - yes!
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy Swedish supermodel with big tits and who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
