New Stock Market Terms

[granev]

CEO - chief embezzlement officer

BULL MARKET - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius

BEAR MARKET - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance , the wife gets no jewelry , and the husband gets no sex

VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower

P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing

BROKER - What my broker has made me

STANDARD AND POOR - your life in a nutshell

STOCK ANALYST - idiot who just downgraded your stock

STOCK SPLIT - when your ex wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves

FINANCIAL PLANNER - a guy whose phone has been disconnected

MARKET CORRECTION - the day after you buy stocks

CASH FLOW - the movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet

YAHOO - what you yell after selling it to some poor sucker at $240 a share

WINDOWS - what you jump out of when you are the sucker who bought Yahoo for $240 a share

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - past year investor who is now locked up in a nuthouse

PROFIT - an archaic word no longer in use

 

[LynnH]

And another one .....

There are now 3 types of markets for shares, apparently ..... the bull market, the bear market ... and the baaa market!

Cheers
LynnH

P. S. Perhaps the latter one is for BayView's sheeple! (Great term, BTW, Marc!)