Spending the kids inheritance
- Thread starter Garry K
- Start date
I'd say this is quite likely, unless if they vote themselves huge pensions 
Frankly kids don't have an inherent right to their parents' good anyway...this is an aristocratic tradition designed to maintain control within a certain elect that has worked very well.
Kids are lucky to get whatever they get
Cheers,
Aceyducey
Frankly kids don't have an inherent right to their parents' good anyway...this is an aristocratic tradition designed to maintain control within a certain elect that has worked very well.
Kids are lucky to get whatever they get
Cheers,
Aceyducey
My kids have not yet begun to appreciate the value of money. It's a difficult lesson to try to get them to see that money, well, costs money.
If they really want to appreciate having money, they have to learn what it's like not having money first- and they have to learn how to get wealth in their own right.
Until then, I just won't die, so they won't get their hands on any of it before they're ready!
If they really want to appreciate having money, they have to learn what it's like not having money first- and they have to learn how to get wealth in their own right.
Until then, I just won't die, so they won't get their hands on any of it before they're ready!
geoffw said:
Ditto . Luckily all our family live into their 80's so short of an inappropriatly positioned truck , they should get it just in time to pay for their retirement
We're working on the " learn the value of money" at this stage. Our daughter seems to be learning but the boys have a way to go.
See Change
Ditto . Luckily all our family live into their 80's so short of an inappropriatly positioned truck , they should get it just in time to pay for their retirement
See Change
That's an interesting point. If I live to 85, my eldest son will be 65. If he's going to spend all his money on having a great time until 65, and rely on me bequeathing him enough to retire on, then bad luck for him
.I'm not sure why we (boomers) are being fed this guilt trip about not leaving a small fortune to our kids.
Perhaps Acey is right, it's just a result of the medieval system of trying to keep the assets in the family.
I think there are modern Englishmen who are not actually all that enthusiastic about inheriting an old castle that requires mega bucks just to maintain it.
GarryK
I take a different view.
I voted spend the lot as I have no kids but I also woud like to add help when it is necessary.
Subject to circumstances I would like to help my niece and nephew get their first home and start their career.
I would want a say in the decision making but only to ensure they didnt stuff up.
IMHO once the PPOR is paid off then they can really get ahead. Probably encourage them to buy one of me at no interest. Reverse mortgage in a way.
I think my attitude is diff to having my own kids, more objective both ways.
peter 147
I voted spend the lot as I have no kids but I also woud like to add help when it is necessary.
Subject to circumstances I would like to help my niece and nephew get their first home and start their career.
I would want a say in the decision making but only to ensure they didnt stuff up.
IMHO once the PPOR is paid off then they can really get ahead. Probably encourage them to buy one of me at no interest. Reverse mortgage in a way.
I think my attitude is diff to having my own kids, more objective both ways.
peter 147
I don't have kids so don't have a right to vote on this one but will add a comment. I think kids shouldn't expect to coast on behalf of their parents hard work. Two examples;
1) I have a work colleague who told me she will not be able to afford proprety until something happens to both her parents...she is in her 20s. I was shocked! Yet she just took a two year lease on a 1br place @ $280 pw. And used a small inheritance for paying off a holiday, could've used it for part of a deposit on a place with fhog. Scrunched up her nose and shook her head when I broached it with her.
2) Another workmate told me that once he pays off his house he will be fine as he will get a 1/3 share in his parents house in the future. He is only in his 30s. On this basis he may only have $10,000 a year in his retirement.
Sorry but I am not from the same planet as these people.
Parents shouldn't be guilted into feeling they have to provide for adult children who spin the line that it is much harder now. It has always been hard.
Just my 2 cents, sorry if I trod on anyones toes.
1) I have a work colleague who told me she will not be able to afford proprety until something happens to both her parents...she is in her 20s. I was shocked! Yet she just took a two year lease on a 1br place @ $280 pw. And used a small inheritance for paying off a holiday, could've used it for part of a deposit on a place with fhog. Scrunched up her nose and shook her head when I broached it with her.
2) Another workmate told me that once he pays off his house he will be fine as he will get a 1/3 share in his parents house in the future. He is only in his 30s. On this basis he may only have $10,000 a year in his retirement.
Sorry but I am not from the same planet as these people.
Parents shouldn't be guilted into feeling they have to provide for adult children who spin the line that it is much harder now. It has always been hard.
Just my 2 cents, sorry if I trod on anyones toes.
On behalf on my folks I voted
"Leave a PPOR plus 100% of the capital you retired with"
They are spending my inheritence at the moment with their little hobby of fishing
No seriously - they do spend an absolute fortune on fishing (they have 2 boats and a whole room +some devoted to gear) and good luck to them too. I remember growing up and not having much $$ b'cos there were 5 kids and grandma to support during the high interest rate period. They worked damn hard and are reaping the rewards of that work.
I don't mind if they just left me a bill for their funerals - they have given me much more than an inheritence could ever replace. I won't need the $$ anyway by the time they retire to the big fishing comp in the sky.
Those kids that expect things need a kick up the bum and should go and work as hard as their folks have.
Off my soap box
Ecogirl
"Leave a PPOR plus 100% of the capital you retired with"
They are spending my inheritence at the moment with their little hobby of fishing
No seriously - they do spend an absolute fortune on fishing (they have 2 boats and a whole room +some devoted to gear) and good luck to them too. I remember growing up and not having much $$ b'cos there were 5 kids and grandma to support during the high interest rate period. They worked damn hard and are reaping the rewards of that work.
I don't mind if they just left me a bill for their funerals - they have given me much more than an inheritence could ever replace. I won't need the $$ anyway by the time they retire to the big fishing comp in the sky.
Those kids that expect things need a kick up the bum and should go and work as hard as their folks have.
Off my soap box
Ecogirl
Garry K said:That's an interesting point. If I live to 85, my eldest son will be 65. If he's going to spend all his money on having a great time until 65, and rely on me bequeathing him enough to retire on, then bad luck for him
I've read/heard a couple of times that because people are making it into an 'older' age than before it stands to reason that their kids are 'old' too, so a lot of people are leaving their money to their grandkids and skipping a generation.
As for me, both my kids know I'm saving for MY old age not theirs and they can have whatever is left after I've finished with it and they're OK with it.
My parents (in their 80's) are still living frugally so they have something to leave us all, even though we keep saying SPEND IT ON YOURSELVES - WE ARE FINE!
I think the mindset fits the era you were born in usually. If I'm a greedy babyboomer it's because I did it tough NOT easy, and want to have it a little easier on the home stretch.
Cheers
Olly
I knew that I had to look after my own retirement long ago- I just didn't kow how to do it. My parents' estate was not going to provide me with anything much.
My parents are now both 77, and still in good shape- both still play golf regularly. (I could never play golf. I tried it one afternoon, it was the longest week of my life). They did well at business, and are enjoying the fruits of their labours- though a fixed income with an increasing cost of living is taking its toll (a lesson for my own future). They are using annuities- that's going to run out one day. It's more likely that I will be supporting them than vice versa- and that's the way it should be.
They did have a window of about ten years when they could afford to, and were healthy enough to, travel, and enjoyed that window.
This all reminds me that it's probably getting time to talk with them about the future. I wouldn't like to go through some of the disagreements which went on with parent's siblings about grandparents.
My parents are now both 77, and still in good shape- both still play golf regularly. (I could never play golf. I tried it one afternoon, it was the longest week of my life). They did well at business, and are enjoying the fruits of their labours- though a fixed income with an increasing cost of living is taking its toll (a lesson for my own future). They are using annuities- that's going to run out one day. It's more likely that I will be supporting them than vice versa- and that's the way it should be.
They did have a window of about ten years when they could afford to, and were healthy enough to, travel, and enjoyed that window.
This all reminds me that it's probably getting time to talk with them about the future. I wouldn't like to go through some of the disagreements which went on with parent's siblings about grandparents.
Hmmmm........great question Garry.
It's got me thinking.......
Firstly, I guess I fall into the category of believing that beyond being my children, they'll also be adults(if I survive that long!) whom I will form an 'opinion' about as I would any other individual. As a parent, I will try and do the best I can in raising them and I hope they will turn into people whom I can indeed be proud of and respect beyond the fact that they are my own children.
Although I intend to put in a good deal of effort to ensure they can stand on their own feet, there are no guarantees.
For example, let's say my child turns out to be bone lazy, makes no effort to look after themselves and basically wants a free ride. In this case, I would feel quite happy to spend up and also leave a significant proportion('significant' may not be a huge amount in my case anyway ) to charity.
Alternatively, my child does indeed turn into a person whom I am immensely proud of and although really wanting to spend time at home with her children, can't do so because of financial pressures. I'd love to be able to help.
I know there are many variations to the above overly simplistic examples, but I guess my answer to this question in part may well depend on the types of people my children become.
However, I'm assuming they'll turn out to be great people though so I'd like to leave them a bit more than less!
It's got me thinking.......
Firstly, I guess I fall into the category of believing that beyond being my children, they'll also be adults(if I survive that long!) whom I will form an 'opinion' about as I would any other individual. As a parent, I will try and do the best I can in raising them and I hope they will turn into people whom I can indeed be proud of and respect beyond the fact that they are my own children.
Although I intend to put in a good deal of effort to ensure they can stand on their own feet, there are no guarantees.
For example, let's say my child turns out to be bone lazy, makes no effort to look after themselves and basically wants a free ride. In this case, I would feel quite happy to spend up and also leave a significant proportion('significant' may not be a huge amount in my case anyway
) to charity.Alternatively, my child does indeed turn into a person whom I am immensely proud of and although really wanting to spend time at home with her children, can't do so because of financial pressures. I'd love to be able to help.
I know there are many variations to the above overly simplistic examples, but I guess my answer to this question in part may well depend on the types of people my children become.
However, I'm assuming they'll turn out to be great people though so I'd like to leave them a bit more than less!
Hi Olly
Another great point.
My parents in their 80's, essentially been pensioners all retired life.
They have been saving money for years and now have a tidy sum.
Why? we ask them.
Because they don't like to "waste" money, and want to leave us something (4 kids, youngest 48 and oldest 58).
Whatever makes them happy, makes me happy.
GarryK
geoffw said:
Now see, I have a problem with this - probably due to my own father's money mismanagement.
They had enough money to retire comfortably - great, excellent !!
They spend it traveling - OK if you CAN afford it.
They run out of money, and then YOU'RE supporting them - hmmm.... maybe they shouldn't have travelled and spent all that money huh ???
I tried to tell my father that his trip(s) were going to take $xxx out of his income, FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.
Of course, he didn't accept that, went on the trip, no complains about how little money he has to live on - well HELLO !!!
Some people can never learn.....
sbe,
I'm with you on the supporting parents deal too. I find it a little confusing that some people would have the position of not believing they 'need' to leave anything for their kids - which I agree with - but turning around and saying they feel an obligation to support their parents if they require it?
But then again, just as most parents wouldn't jump on a plane to the Bahamas if one or more of their children were destitute, I don't think many children would leave their parents to suffer if they were in severe financial dire straits either.
I'm with you on the supporting parents deal too. I find it a little confusing that some people would have the position of not believing they 'need' to leave anything for their kids - which I agree with - but turning around and saying they feel an obligation to support their parents if they require it?
But then again, just as most parents wouldn't jump on a plane to the Bahamas if one or more of their children were destitute, I don't think many children would leave their parents to suffer if they were in severe financial dire straits either.
Mark, you and SBE voice concerns about caring for the oldies I don't really understand.Mark Laszczuk said:
I had to support my parents in their retirement, but this was not really in a monitary sense. They owned a low-value home which was sold and part financed a nice self contained unit extension to my house. Everyone won! They lived independently, the kids came home from school to a built-in grandma, my lady persued her career and I had a fresh lunch whenever I wanted. It goes without saying that Mum n Dad were happy as hell. The flat is pretty derelect now with just a scruffy son living in it but it still exists. Cash wise, the oldies lived on the pension with no contribution from me.
None of us want to rely on a pension in retirement BUT it is livable. Clearly it does not fund o/s holidays or a long session at the RSL. Wouldn't go close to my bar tab but all this is discresionary.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I would not mind my parents blowing some of their disposable income as they choose. Not for one second would I believe they were spending "my inheritence". But any contribution I make thereafter would have to fit within my means.
Thommo
sbe said:
Hehe, my thoughts exactly SBE! I just couldn't seem to find an option that I liked until I read your post
My children, God willing, will be smart enough and self-sufficient enough to live off their own money. Hubby and I will enjoy the fruits of our labour ( as we already are), live to a ripe old age with full financial independence and they can have whatever's left!
Why is that confusing?Mark Laszczuk said:
My parents provided me complete and utter support until I finished university. Unlike some cultures, they don't do this as a way of supporting their own retirement- it's something they did for me (and my siblings) in order to give me the best possible opportunities.
They did do well for themselves in business, and that provided them with the means for their own comfortable retirement.
But if they needed something now (and especially now that I've been able to provide for my own family's financial future to some extent) I don't think that it would be in the slightest bit unfair for me to provide something for them.
Their support for me lasted a lot longer than their own support from their parents. And my support for my kids is now subsidised somewhat by properties- so it will not hurt me as much as their support for me did.
I owe them. And, unlike my kids, they have proved that they can manage money very well
The only thing they may not have foreseen and planned for is that they look likely to live for quite a few years yet- I suspect I will have to chip in in some upcoming years- and they deserve that.
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