Yeah but dont forget.... you dont have any dependents!!

[Alex P Keaton]

Was talking to mum tonight and I told her how excited I am about my savings plan and how it is going! Anyway she was happy for me but then commented "but dont forget you dont have any dependents to worry about blah blah" I said well, I think im doing pretty well considering lots of single people out there spend all their money and buy now, pay later. I know a guy at work that lives at home. He's 32 and hasnt got any savings cos he spends all his money.


Anyway i dont think i'll mention how good things are going for me. I dont want to hear the same comment again. Thing is, I have a brother and he doesnt have dependents but he hasnt saved anything, plus he has lived rent free for over 10 years! They are trying hard to start a family but havent even bothered to start saving for it. Would rather buy a big screen tv, and spend money on other crap. Its craziness. Then i bet they will get good old mum and dad to help support the baby when it comes along.


If she asks how its going I'll just say good thanks and leave it at that.


I dont plan to have kids dont want children, so I'm sure I'll hear it over and over during the course of my life that the reason I have done so well is because I havent had children to support. Ok I can understand that children are expensive and that it would be harder for a parent to invest, but its not my fault I'm single and only have to worry about supporting myself. Anyway my parents will be happy I dont have dependents because I will be supporting them when they have run out of money 10 years into retirement. Will also help them with nursing homes and stuff like that.


Hoping to hear some encouragment. Some kind words. Why do people say the things they say! It really is good to have people to talk to here because none of my friends are doing what im doing (well apart from 1 acquaintance) there all living for today, i want this, i'll have it now!!


Anyway I'm edging closer towards the big $30 K savings mark and getting more excited as I see the numbers going up and up.


I've been really busy lately and havent been able to read many threads but I saw my name mentioned in a topic as the queen of savers haha thanks for that whoever that was!

I'm now reaching for the sky $35 K saved by December is my goal. When I reach $50 K I buy my first ip

 

[jaycee]

Hi Kim

I find you enthusiastic and insipirational. You have energy, and you are a mean saver !

SOunds like the wrong thing for mum to say at tthe wrong time. Of course if you had children you wouldnt have that much sved all other things being eual, but have I done OK ?

of course you have, and I reckon your parents know it too.

 

[craigb]

Kim its hard for mums and dads to recognise that their little baby is doing well in her savings plan, jelous comes to mind and many SS er's have been subject to this from their oldies, i thinking good on ya! and with the baby thing its called" familly planing" your one of few who is actually doing it!
I have family members and they have gone BANG! 1,2,3 kids and the negativity is their too!
Be strong! their will be alot of neg along your jeorney, that i can be sure about, you will see it and how it effected some of the forumites, all through these threads.
Well done, follow your dream! don't give up, take positive advice from positive people, and sweep negative comments aside.

 

[Perp]

At the risk of agreeing with Mum, it is much easier to save as a single person. But I hope she was saying this - as I am - in the spirit of "good on you; make hay while the sun shines!", rather than trying to detract from your achievement.

I'd also point out that circumstances change; I know lots of people who were never going to get married and have kids, but very few who stuck with it past 35. You never know what's in your future. Again, I'm not saying that to be negative, it can only be to your advantage to save and work towards a secure financial future, wherever life leads you.

I'd take a punt that your Mum was trying to justify (to herself) your brother's relative under-achievement, rather than trying to detract from your achievement, but it's still disheartening.

Good for you, Kim. Stick with your plan, and do it because it will benefit you.

 

[HandyAndy888]

Yeah, I get this comment all the time, both for investing, and for teaching!!!

It IS a jealousy thing - people can't handle it that you are doing well or, are well adjusted and aren't making the mistakes they have made. So yeah, just build some emotional resilience, along with a bridge, then get over it...

 

[kum yin lau]

Hi Kim, you ain't alone. My mother said that she was able to put some money in the bank because all her money was given to her by my brother Sam.

I was that annoyed I snapped at her. Is the 10K that my sister gave her and the 8K that I gave her cow dung?

Not that Sam is not a good boy, he is extremely generous and warm hearted. But he's 10 years younger and just by being older, my sisters and I had 'sacrificed' much longer.

Now, we don't talk about it, but still do what we always did and my mother went the other extreme and put my sister and me in the transfer of the family home. Whatever for? But we just keep quiet. No point upsetting her.

And wait till you buy your IP. There'll be all kinds of advice and comments from people who don't invest.

KY

 

[Propertunity]

I'd take a punt that your Mum was trying to justify (to herself) your brother's relative under-achievement, rather than trying to detract from your achievement, but it's still disheartening.

I agree with ozperp's thoughts here - I had the same ones as I was reading your post.

You'll do well - you are a mean saver as jaycee says.

 

[Rob Williams]

Hey Kim! Well done. You should be very proud of what you have achieved and the opportunities that await you.
I get much the same attitude from my well meaning parents and others I work with.
It's like some sort of defense mechanism. Your success makes them feel "less", somehow and the only way they can cope is to bring you down, in subtle and not so subtle ways.
Just remember, what they think and how they feel is none of your business! It's their issue. Don't let it bring you down, as that's exactly what it's intended to do.
Stay focussed on that goal and start thinking bigger. 6 IP's by 2020 is way too achievable for someone with your mindset. I want to see that signature block upgraded!!

 

[rugrat]

YOU DON"T HAVE ANY DEPENDANTS!

Well good on you for saving without them! I am being serious. Having dependants may make things harder, but saving is saving and people should be doing it with or without dependants. I wish DH and I had some savings before we had kids (funny thing is we weren't in a position to start saving really until after the kids came along).

you don't have dependants, you can make that work for you! It means that you will have more oppertunity and options when it comes to saving and investing. Take it as a good thing and continue on your path. As much as I love my dependants (I actaully plan on having more) I sometimes daydream about all the things DH and I could do without them. Well you have that oppertunity and you are using it. That is something to be congratulated for, not critised about. I know plenty of single people with no dependants who have nothing to show to their name but bad debt and are living paycheck to paycheck.

 

[evand]

If it's not your fault, who's fault is it? LOL

Ok I can understand that children are expensive and that it would be harder for a parent to invest, but its not my fault I'm single and only have to worry about supporting myself.

I think your mum is just stating a simple fact. IT IS much easier to save and invest when you dont have a family. If someone can save and invest as well as having a PPOR and family, now thats an achievement to be very proud of.

So, i think a few others need to "get over it" and get real. Would be nice to see some realism on the forum instead of the usual deluded rah rah positive spin on everything and "ignore the negative dream stealers" peurile waffle.

 

[want2bewealthy]

Congrats on your savings, however I caution you in your quest for 50k vs investing now using OPM.

Please don't make the same mistake I made by saving a larger deposit for your first IP.

I don't know how the area you're looking to invest in is doing at present, but I missed out on making approximately 100k by holding off for another year to save a larger deposit, so what I essentially did was loose by thinking I was winning.

It might be a good idea to look into the benefits of OPM if you're not familiar with the concept.

Again, congratulations on your efforts thus far

 

[Aaron Sice]

everytime i read your posts and how you relate to your family - it's like reading something about my life.

funny stuff. good to see you're still keen regardless of what others think.

 

[Alex P Keaton]

Thanks guys you picked me up! .... Like you always do. Made me feel a bit better. Was a bit upset last night and came on the net soon after the call, i knew you peeps would understand. I'll get used to it! My family will get used to it too!

Just a quick note to Rob. I just came across your journey in one of the forums have been meaning to reply to say what an inspiration you are. Anyway, I'll do it now. Congrats on your achievements. I aspire to be like you.

Before i head back to work from lunch I'll quickly reply to want2bewealthy

want2bewealthy
Yeah thanks for that! I will be saving and keeping a very close eye on the Perth market over the next 1-2 years to see how it is going. If I do see it start to recover and its more worthwhile for me to invest then I'd consider investing sooner, even if I have only saved $40 K. All I know is I need to have that $15 K left over as savings. Its important for my SANF. On the topic of OPM, I plan to go 90% or 95% if I can get it.


Anyway thanks to all who have replied. I have learnt something from everyone.

 

[Somesh]

Congratulations Kim. You are doing the right thing and would be proud of yourself when you will see the rewards.
I think strategy changes a bit when you have dependents but nothing stops the focused people from achieving what they want. I have two kids and currently have two properties and looking for 3rd now & still able to save some. Its all mind set and remember there is universal law, what you focus on expands...

All the best.

 

[Chris.R_WA]

I've been really busy lately and havent been able to read many threads but I saw my name mentioned in a topic as the queen of savers haha thanks for that whoever that was!

Yeah that was me, and it wasn't a throw away line either! I genuinely think that savings comes very hard to most people, and having the discipline to stick to a savings plan is very different to paying of a personal loan etc.

With savings, the money is sitting there available to the weaker-willed, whereas non-tax deductable debt reduction (a very good idea itself BTW and should usually be done before savings due to the after-tax return) is generally more "enforced"

Going back a few years now, Simon Macks (the SS poster) posted an article that he wrote called "Taming the Debt Monster"

Quote - Simon "When I was a young officer in the Army I couldn’t save. I desperately wanted to start investing but every time I had $1000 saved something popped up that was more important. Travel, consumer goods etc.

So in 1993 I took myself down to the Credit Union and borrowed $5000 to buy shares in the coming Woolworths float. My reasoning that if I owed the money I would easily repay it and the interest was deductible. Enforced savings"

Currently, I have no NTDD so am using an offset account on one of my IP's to save. I tend to be a more "lumpy" saver. I try to put away a set amount every month, but it is usually only small $400 or so, but every lump sum I recieve like work bonuses, tax refunds, Kevin Rudd stimulus etc ALWAYS goes to the offset account. If I want something discretionary, I see if I have enough money left over at the end of the month to buy it.

Cheers,

Chris

 

[jaycee]

If it's not your fault, who's fault is it? LOL



I think your mum is just stating a simple fact. IT IS much easier to save and invest when you dont have a family. If someone can save and invest as well as having a PPOR and family, now thats an achievement to be very proud of.

So, i think a few others need to "get over it" and get real. Would be nice to see some realism on the forum instead of the usual deluded rah rah positive spin on everything and "ignore the negative dream stealers" peurile waffle.

I think most of us actually acknowledged waht you said in your first & second sentences.. And that no one argued against your third (?)

True, I dont think mum was dumping on her per se, but it still made kim feel like her own attempts towards a reasonable acheivement/self responsibility were not recognised when she probalby purposely told her mum about them hoping she would react positively.. so people reacted with a few words of encouragment for kim, that's what people do...

 

[HiEquity]

If it's not your fault, who's fault is it? LOL

I wouldn't have found that very funny back when I was single. Finding the right person means you are very, very fortunate. Some settle for the wrong person rather than wait forever. I don't know how I ended up so lucky but I have a lot of sympathy for those who are waiting...

I think your mum is just stating a simple fact. IT IS much easier to save and invest when you dont have a family. If someone can save and invest as well as having a PPOR and family, now thats an achievement to be very proud of.

So, i think a few others need to "get over it" and get real. Would be nice to see some realism on the forum instead of the usual deluded rah rah positive spin on everything and "ignore the negative dream stealers" peurile waffle.

I'm all for a dose of realism on the forum but what does a comment like this achieve? Will it make someone feel better? Does it inspire? Will it improve anyone's saving or investing? No - it just serves to "bring people down" so you can feel better about your own situation. I see no other possible reason for it. Should Kim not feel proud of her saving achievement just because she's single? It makes no sense...

Anyway, Kim you sound like you know your own mind and are well on the way to sorting out the wheat from the chaff around you. Responses like this are something you will have to get used to I'm afraid. How you respond to them in turn is a measure of your character and it is this which will determine your future.

Good luck with it!

 

[daniellee]

Good on you, Kim

Hi, Kim

I was in a similar situation to you, but it was not Mum, but Dad. Dad is one those who enjoyed spending money and living it up. I told him once over lunch that in life, one has to be prepared, and saving and investing money is one way of preparing for rainy days. He responded sarcastically: " So, you think you can foretell the future?"

I agree that it is easily to save without any dependents around, but it becomes more important to be financially successful with dependents. I remember reading Robert Kiyosaki book, and his Rich Dad telling him he had to be rich as he had a family to support.

Some in your family relations will be jealous when they see the discipline and determination that they will not find easily, and will use whatever negative excuse to justify your success. Ignore them. Sometimes, family do not understand how you can turn out to be so different from everyone else.

My wife and I have a PPOR in Melbourne, and a second PPOR in Singapore, and we have just purchased our first IP with settlement in early July 09. As soon as you near a stage of being about to purchase, start researching. Finding a diamond in the rough can take months. We took 7 months to find ours.

Oh yeah. When I was 20 yrs old, I did not believe in marriage or children. I sorted myself out over the years and met my wife at age 24 yrs. Got married 5 yrs later and now am expecting Kid 1. There are not many young people with a saver / investor mindset, but when you do meet someone like that whom you can get along, your view on marriage and children will change.

All the best.
Daniel Lee

 

[gooram]

Clearly it makes your parents uncomfortable, and maybe they feel a little inadequate, perhaps they don't quite know how to deal with it, but if I were you I would empathise with your parents and try not to mention it anymore.

 

[BayView]

I have a similar relationship with my Mum.

No "congrats" or "what have you been doing and tell all about it."

It seems that every time I try to get into a conversation about what good thing we've done lately, such as a holiday or our financial progress (I've given up on that particular issue actually) she shows a complete lack of interest in the subject, doesn't ask questions or ask for details - just changes the conversation back to something she wanted to tell me about her, or her life.

It's almost as if she is jealous, and wants to be the centre of attention to make herself feel better or something.

So, our conversations (which are mostly phone due to her long distance from us) end up with me listening, and asking her stuff about her.

Even her grandson (my son) misses out; she'll ask about him, but before I've even had the chance to elaborate on a particular event such as Auskick or school, the conversation is immediately turned back around to what the other grandson (my nephew) who is a similar age and lives a few streets away from her.

Don't get me wrong; I'm very interested in all those things about where she is, but it is not a 2-sided conflab, so I've pretty much given up and call occasionally and resign myself to listening for about an hour.